When Trouble Finds Us
by smartkid37
Summary: Someone within the Team Gibbs Family Unit is in serious trouble. When the team's next case envelops that trouble; can the team hold it together? How does the team react when they connect the dots?
1. Letting the Boss In

_NCIS Squad Room - Monday 5 AM_

The young man awoke at his desk with a start. _Damn it, not a single lead! _He inwardly fumed as he looked at the searches he'd been running on his computer overnight. He'd tried everything, bank account pings, driver's license, toll cards, credit cards, phone records, all of it and he came up with zilch, nata, zip, absolutely nothing. Not a single trace. He'd already spent every spare minute since he'd gotten the call on Thursday afternoon, the entire weekend, trying to get a lead from co-workers, roommates, fellow students, professors, and again, he'd come up empty. Over and over again, he'd gotten the same answer,

"_5 on Wednesday." _

If he didn't get any more information than this by lunchtime today, he would have to make one of the worst phone calls anyone in law enforcement ever has to make. He knew he should have made this call days ago, but he kept putting it off, hoping against hope that the end result would be, that the call wouldn't be needed. This was one thing he was not looking forward to doing. In fact, he had never in his life, wanted to be the one to have to make _this _call.

Exhausted and worried out of his mind, beaten down, run ragged, and emotionally wiped out, he dragged himself up out of his chair and headed to the break room for coffee. He'd have to freshen up soon, too. But, he'd take care of that after he'd had some caffeine. These last 5 days had taken almost everything he had to give. He hadn't slept in days, couldn't eat, and was barely functioning. Not knowing how much more of this he could take, he rolled his shoulders to loosen them up, and kept going. Nothing else would be acceptable.

Gibbs had gotten the sense that he was needed at work sooner than usual this morning, and found himself in the squad room before 05:30. His gut hadn't stopped churning and his sixth sense was kicking in, too. It felt strange, but oh, so quiet, and quiet was good. Quiet was peaceful and soothing and, why the hell was his agent's desk cluttered, like someone had been using it all night?

Curiosity piqued now, and his gut not calming down, he headed over, wanting to get a better look at what his agent could possibly working on at this hour, knowing it couldn't be good. He hadn't gotten very far when his phone rang. _Who the hell would call me at this hour?_

"Yeah. Gibbs" he growled into his phone.

"_Agent Gibbs, I think you need to come to the break room on your floor."_ A very shaken Agent Dwyer got immediately to the point. No wonder Gibbs liked the guy.

"Dwyer? What's going on?" Gibbs demanded, his gut suddenly twisting just a little tighter.

"_I've got one of your agents here, I can't explain it, Sir, you might want to come see this for yourself."_ Dwyer respectfully offered.

"On my way." Gibbs growled. Snapping his phone shut, he stomped down on the urge the hurl it into the wall when it rang again almost immediately.

"**Yeah. Gibbs!"** He barked, much more aggravated now.

"_Good morning to you too, Jethro."_ Jen greeted dryly. "_Before things get crazy, I need to see you in MTAC"_

"They're already getting crazy, Jen. I just got here, it's not even six yet, and I've been called to the break room for something _"I might want to see for myself!"_

"_What's going on?"_ Jen asked

"Well, Jen, I don't know. I haven't gotten there yet! I'll let you know when I find out." Gibbs snapped his phone shut again, stowing the offensive thing in his pocket. Taking deep, deliberately calming breaths, he worked hard to lose his temper and find the good mood he'd come in here with.

Stepping into the near empty break room, Gibbs was brought up short by the sight now in front of him. Standing in front of the window, head bowed, touching the glass, shoulders silently shaking in either tears or laughter, was his agent.

Sending Agent Dwyer a look of thanks, Gibbs waited until the reporting agent politely vacated the room, before he approached his agent. "Hey." he quietly attempted to get the young man's attention. Getting no response, he tried one more time, but with a bit more force.

_Hey!"_

Startled, his agent jolted out of his _lost in misery,_ state of mind. Taking the time to wipe his face dry and take a deep breath, he finally turned to face the music. "Boss?" he asked, his voice still unsteady, knowing Gibbs would be pissed at this outwardly display of emotion in the workplace, AND he would be pissed that any of his agents were here this early.

"What's going on?" Gibbs asked in genuine concern.

The young man tried to stay silent, sending his eyes to the floor, not wanting to get this conversation going, it was too upsetting and he needed to get his head back into the game. He knew work wouldn't wait for him to get his emotions under wraps. He had to crack down on himself. Having this conversation with Gibbs now, would _not_ accomplish that.

"Talk to me. What's going on?" Gibbs insisted.

The Agent silently slid the report he'd filed on Thursday evening out of his breast pocket and handed it to his boss, knowing it would do a hell ova better job explaining things than he ever could, especially right now.

Gibbs read what he'd just been handed, his gut twisting more with every sentence he comprehended. There were no clues, no pieces of information to grasp at, no hope. Reading over the details of everything that this young man had done and everyone that he had spoken with, before he'd even taken this drastic and painful step. Gibbs was astounded. _Had he even had any help with this?_

"Why didn't you come to me?" Gibbs asked quietly, more confused than angry that his agent hadn't asked him for help. He pointedly pocketed the paper, making it well known that he was now actively getting involved, no matter what the answer to the question he'd just asked was.

"Because, Boss, it wasn't work related, so I didn't think you'd appreciate being asked to get involved." his agent explained plainly, honestly, and without pulling any punches, he simply wasn't in the mood to worry about Gibbs' reaction right now. "Can we keep this just between us, please?" he pleaded.

Looking at him, Gibbs could see the desperation behind the request. It was obvious that his agent didn't have faith that this situation would bring out the best in the team's relationships. The last thing he wanted right now was more stress, but, then again, he was selling his teammates short. Wanting to keep the peace, and the inside track he now had on what his agent was going through, Gibbs nodded in agreement, choosing for the moment, to let his agent's explanation simmer on the back burner. "Okay. For now. But, I have to tell the Director."

"Thank you. I'm going back to my desk now. I'm sorry if it's late." the young man said as he refilled his coffee cup and headed back to his desk, leaving a surprised and concerned boss behind.

Getting back to his desk, the agent noticed that he wasn't late, after all. He still had time to at least let his coffee work out his feeling of sluggishness. He prayed that they be able to solve this. The more he thought about it, the more he berated himself for not having enough faith in Gibbs, to bring it to him, to ask him for help, their rocky working relationship aside. Gibbs had risen to the occasion flawlessly the last time there had been trouble afoot, even going so far as to make sure his agents played it by the book and didn't do anything stupid.

The longer he sat there, the more angry he felt with himself, mixed with the fear and helplessness, it was a brewing volcano, just waiting to explode. Suddenly, he couldn't take another second of it. Sending a quick email to his boss, he took himself down the back stairs, away from the confined space of the squad room.

Gibbs headed up to MTAC, to meet with Jenny, wanting to get whatever it was this was about, over and done with quickly. As he sat down next to Jen, she silently pointed to the screen in front of them. As Gibbs turned his head, he saw that Jenny had pulled security footage from the squad room showing his agent coming back to work, the time was 8 Friday night. Everyone had gone home at six, even Gibbs; himself had left at 7:30. Gibbs recalled the young man had torn out of there like, _oh God! - When had he gotten word? He was waiting until we had all left, so he could come back in and run a search!_

As the footage continued, it showed the agent fire up his computer and steadily type away for what, when fast-forwarded, amounted to the entire night. Apparently, he finally dozed around 3 AM. Fast-forwarding through the entire weekend showed him doing the same thing each night.

"Jethro, this isn't a surprise to you." Jen observed.

"No, Jen, as of about 10 minutes ago, it's not." Gibbs silently handed her the Police Report.


	2. This Can't Be Happening!

_"Jethro, this isn't a surprise to you." Jen observed.  
"No, Jen, as of about 10 minutes ago, it's not." Gibbs silently handed her the Police Report_

As Director, Jenny had to play the hard line here, reading the pages in front of her, set up an unpleasant but possibly necessary course of action she would have to take, knowing she'd be in for a hell ova fight. Taking a minute to temporarily escape into her caffeine, she took a couple of sips of coffee, strengthening up her backbone. She bit the bullet and got to the heart of the matter.

"How is he handling this?" She could see that her concern surprised Jethro. Given the circumstances of the previous encounter, where they had been on opposite sides, she should have expected to see it. Although, a part of her did expect it, it still stung to see that he could forget that part of her character.

"He's barely holdin on." Gibbs answered her in brutal honesty, his concern for his agent obvious. When it came to his team, he didn't hide that part of himself from her, in fact, when he was concerned about them is when he was most pushy and obnoxious with her. "It looks like he hasn't slept or eaten since the day he filed the report. As a matter of fact..." as he was finishing his sentence, he got up from his seat and started walking toward the door, "I need to go check on him, talk to him."

"Jethro!" Jenny's voice stopped him in his progress. Looking back at her with raised eyebrows, his patented silent question hanging in the air between them. He waited impatiently.

"I need to meet with him to discuss this." She firmly ordered. Her no-nonsense tone sending anger through him.

"No, Jen! No, you don't. It's a private matter. That's why he didn't come to me in the first place! It's why he's been handling it alone, why he hasn't taken the time to take care of himself!" Gibbs stalked back to her, his fury radiating off of him _She was not gonna throw the weight of her position around on this one!_

"I need to make sure he's capable of doing his job." Jenny persisisted, with an air of being unperturbed, when in fact she was upset that she had pissed him off just because she'd wanted to test him.

"No. That's _my_ job and we both know that. And if you'd stop trying so damn hard to arm wrestle me over it, I could get back to _doing_ my job, _Director_!"

Clearly the loser of this little game she'd stupidly tried to play, Jenny conceded to Gibbs' obvious point, not to mention his anger. After all, he was right, as he usually was.

"All right, Jethro, but don't make the mistake of believing or even thinking that I don't care, because I do! She stated.

"About this?" Gibbs waved the report in the air. "Or about my agent?" his doubt about her 'concern' was poured into the question.

"Both, Jethro, Both." She promised.

With blatant doubt still written all over his face, he stormed out.

Left alone in MTAC, Jenny immediately dialed Metro, wanting to be read in on exactly was being done about this situation.

Upon leaving MTAC, Gibbs snagged his phone out of his pocket and called his agent.

"Where are you?"

"_Back stairwell."_ his agent's voice was that of extreme exhaustion

"Have you talked to Ducky at all since you filed that report?"

_"No. Haven't even seen him since the day before that."_

"Get out here, we're going to have Ducky give an assessment on you, you look like crap and I don't need you falling over or passing out."

Watching his agent slowly make his way out of the stairwell and over to the elevator, Gibbs decided it was time to let Ducky make this kid take something to help him sleep. There was nothing pending for the team right now, he could spare him long enough for this. He would wake him if anything new came up. Reaching autopsy, Gibbs escorted his agent in to see the M.E.

"Duck, got a patient for you!" Gibbs greeted the M.E. almost cheerfully while sending him a look of just how concerned he was about the young man he'd brought to him. Knowing his agent would open up more without his presence, Gibbs turned to leave with one last order standing between agent and boss.

"Stay here until I come back for you, no exceptions!"

"Yes, Boss." was the quiet acceptance of the order given, to the boss who hadn't waited around to hear it. Boss man had known, without a shadow of a doubt, that the order would be followed.

Up in the squad room, the team got a call out, two female Navy recruits had been found murdered after having first been reported missing four days ago. After sending the remainder of his team to get the sedan, Gibbs notified Ducky, requested that he keep his already sleeping patient there and have Abby make him eat and stay resting, before heading out to join the team, he headed out.

Three hours later found the field team back in the squad room, after chasing down witness statements at the scene and obvious people to start questioning. Now they began pulling records and electronic trails on the victims, Heather Shale and Allison Reed. While his two present agents ran the records and tracked down family and friends, as well as witnesses to their last known movements, Gibbs, while still trying to recall where he'd heard these victim's names before, headed down to see Ducky.

"How is he, Duck?"

"He's doing better now, Jethro, but he still needs more time to sleep and regain his strength."

"I'll make sure he gets it, later. Right now I need his help on this new case."

"All right, Jethro, I'll send him up to you shortly." Ducky gave in grudgingly.

"Don't worry; I'll take care of him." Gibbs promised.

"Yes, Jethro, I'm sure you will." Ducky admitted.

Back in the squad room, progress was a little slower than usual due them being a man down. But, the military I.D's and service applications were on the plasma TV. Both, it seemed were destined to ship out for training in a week. Apparently, they were best friends, had signed up together, would be training together, and had even hoped to serve together. So who would target them and why?

Ten minutes later found the missing agent finally returning to his desk. Gibbs looked him over after shooting his teammates the glare that told them to keep their mouths shut and get back to work. He looked a little less for wear, not much. Hopefully, he could function enough to be of help with this case.

"I need you to trace their last known steps for the last two months." Gibbs ordered.

Looking up at the plasma as Gibbs pointed to it, the agent immediately went cold, his face lost all color, and he looked on the verge of both being sick and passing out. _Oh, no!_

**"Ziva, call Ducky!"** Gibbs exclaimed as he rushed to assist his agent to his chair before he hit the floor.

"_This can't be happening!"_ was heard from the depth of fear and despair.

"Talk to me!" Gibbs demanded.

"The Police Report!"

Gibbs pulled out the document in question. Sure enough. Heather Shale and Allison Reed were both listed as known witnesses.


	3. Telling The Team

_This can't be happening!"_  
_"Talk to me!".  
"The Police Report!"  
Sure enough. Heather Shale and Allison Reed were both listed as known witnesses_

Ducky's arrival was quick and it soon became apparent that the M.E. was very unhappy with seeing his patient so upset when he'd only left Ducky's sight less than 10 minutes ago. Just about the time Ducky was getting ready to lay into Gibbs on the young man's behalf, the Team Leader shook his head at him and pointed in turn to the police report in his hand, the case information on the plasma TV - and his agent.

Unfortunately, this turn of events landed his agent right smack in the middle of this investigation, on the wrong side. Now, outside of tracking any information down for the team, his agent could not help with the case. It also landed the police report his agent filed, into the NCIS case file. But, the consequences of this turn of events could possibly become worse than that. Gibbs felt his heart breaking for his agent.

Silently, Gibbs headed down to see Abby.

"Gibbs! Why are you here? I don't have anything for you!" Abby exclaimed.

"Yeah, Abbs, I know. I have something for you." Gibbs replied. With a small smile, he offered her a caf-pow in one hand, and the police report in the other.

"What. Do you want me to do with that?" Abby asked suspiciously.

"I need you to pull it up and enter it into this case file."

"That's it?" Abby was surprised.

"Yeah. Abbs. That's it." Gibbs answered as he leaned back against her evidence table, making it clear he would be waiting for her to get it done.

When she'd finished he gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks. Abbs." As he left the lab, Gibbs could only silently hope that when Abby realized what was in the report, she'd be okay. On second thought, Gibbs decided that this was not the way to handle this. Turning back around, he silently returned to the lab, watching as Abby did indeed, read the report.

"Oh, My God! Gibbs! How could you not tell me?" Abby cried. Turning around in anger, expecting to have the room to throw something in anger at Gibbs callous way of handling her finding out, she was pulled up short by a solid body and two hands that wrapped themselves around her in a hug. "That's why you asked me to do it for him! Oh, Gibbs! He's gotta be so upset!"

"Yeah, Abbs, he is." Gibbs confirmed.

As he stood there letting his forensic scientist get her sorrow for her teammate out of her system, Gibbs sent up a silent prayer that they would be able to solve this case without further upsets like this, although he seriously doubted it. Hoping for the best, he stepped back from Abby, encouraging her to pull herself together, and together, they headed back to the squad room, since there was no evidence for her to be working on at the moment.

On the way, Abby asked him, "Gibbs, why hasn't he said anything to us?"

"Abbs, he thought it was a personal situation, one that NCIS wouldn't have any jurisdiction in."

"He still could have told us."

"He's been a little busy, Abby."

"Yeah, well, he aint' gonna do it alone, any more!" Abby declared bringing a grin to Gibbs' face, for a second.

"This has now become an official part of our investigation into this case." Gibbs told his agent, as he and Abby stepped off the elevator back in the squad room.

The young man nodded, already knowing this had been coming. He looked exhausted, haunted, and ready to break. Gibbs decided it was past time to let the team in on this, take some of the pressure off this young man. He'd been holding it all in, keeping it all to himself, for four days now. It was tearing him apart and it wasn't going to get any easier.

"We have a possible third victim in this case. As of right now, she's officially missing. She was last seen with our two victims. No one has seen or heard from her since Thursday." Gibbs informed the team. Turning back to his agent,

"Pull up the report." Gibbs directed with sympathy in his tone and his eyes, overlooking the questioning looks he was getting from his other agents. "Put her i.d. up there, while you're at it."

Struggling to hold his composure together, the agent did as he'd been told and added the information.

In all of thirty seconds, gasps of surprise and genuine distress were heard in the squad room as the possible victim's photo id was added to Heather and Allison's on the plasma TV. Alongside her photo appeared the scanned in Police Report.

"Boss?" the astonished and horrified voice came from across the room.

"Jethro, are you certain?" Ducky's dismayed question offered a glimmer of optimism.

"Gibbs?" Ziva's equally upset voice almost begging for denial of what was now presented as additional case evidence.

"I'm afraid so." Gibbs qualified the evidence, with compassion in his tone, and his eyes as he looked at all of them.

This couldn't be real. It was just not right!

It was bad enough that there was a possible third victim in this case. But how could this be real?

_That possible victim was Sara_ _McGee!_


	4. The Facts As I Know Them

Sitting down at his desk, giving Abby free reign to sit near Tim and offer him her comforting shoulder. Gibbs looked over at Ducky. "Duck, I know you want to hear this, but we really need those autopsy reports on these girls."

"Certainly, Jethro. You'll keep me informed?" Turning to Tim, he told him: "Timothy, I am sorry you are going through this, young man, but I do wish you had told us from the start."

"Thank you, Ducky. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner." Tim answered.

"Why didn't you?" Tony asked.

"Jurisdictional confusion. Now, can we get back to the case?" Gibbs firmly redirected. "Now, McGee! Walk us through it. Start with the phone call, when did you get it?" Gibbs' softened his tone a tad and his eyes too as he looked over at the young man who'd been through more than enough for one person in the last several days.

"I got the call on Thursday, close to 10 that morning. It was from the Car Rental Agency Sara, Heather and Allison had reserved a car from. They had been planning this ski trip to Vermont on Winter break from school, for 3 months. Sara puts me down as her contact for everything." Tim explained quietly. "Anyway, the Car Rental place said the car was never picked up. Apparently, they were scheduled to pick it up by 6 Wednesday night."

"Probie, that' not 24 hours." Tony reminded him quietly.

"I know, Tony." Tim answered patiently, offering the Senior Field Agent a small smile of appreciation for his compassion. "Turns out, all three girls were last seen at 5 Wednesday night when they left their last class together. Everyone who knew them that I talked to said they were real excited about going on this ski trip." Tim's voice broke and he quickly looked away from his teammates. Forcing himself to keep his head in the case, he took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders as he exhaled. Diving back into typing on his keyboard, his eyes once again on his monitor, he continued sharing information:

"I've traced Sara's last known movements." His voice steadily breaking, he pushed himself to keep going. "The last place she used her ATM card was the McDonald's near Waverly Campus." feeling a comforting hand clamp down on his shoulder and squeeze in silent support, Tim took a breath and kept going. "That was at 5:30 Wednesday night." Finally looking up from his keyboard, he was surprised to find that the supportive hand on his shoulder belonged to Gibbs. Tony and Ziva, as well as Ducky had come to stand shoulder to shoulder with him as he struggled to keep his head on straight through this ongoing nightmare.

"What about security cameras and traffic cams, McGee?" Ziva asked softly, feeling for his pain.

"I haven't had any luck getting anywhere with those. I'm sorry, I...just..."

"You're just exhausted, overloaded and not eating or sleeping to boot." Gibbs supplied for him with complete understanding.

"It's a wonder you haven't collapsed under the strain, my dear boy." Ducky soothed. "Jethro, he really needs to sleep."

"I agree with you, Duck." Gibbs said.

"Ducky, Boss. I can't! I have to find Sara!" Tim exclaimed in horror at the thought of sleeping while his sister was missing with this killer running loose.

"McGee! That's what you've got the team for. Go with Ducky. Crash on his couch. Ducky, I need those autopsy results ASAP. Tony! Ziva! take the police report McGee filed and the case report on Heather and Allison. Go over all of it, talk to everyone again. Maybe they'll tell Navy Cops what they wouldn't tell a family member of the missing. Abby, Go get McGee something to eat." Gibbs gave out orders, the churning in his gut not helping him stay objective or focused.

"Wait! Tim, what did your parents say?" Abby asked loudly.

Tony and Ziva froze in their tracks, needing to know the answer themselves.

Tim went white as a sheet and crumbled into his chair, obviously distraught. Gibbs and Ducky looked at each other in grave concern.

"I talked to them on Wednesday night, around 10. Mom talked about how grown up Sara was, being able to make this trip with just friends, how the thought of her all grown up brought tears to my Mom's eyes. They said they only got her voicemail when they called her. I tried calling her too, about 100 times since then. Always her voicemail. Now, I can't even reach my parents

"When's the last time you spoke with them?" Gibbs asked.

"I haven't. I've tried about a dozen times since last night, but all I get is their voicemail at home and on their cells. I haven't even been able to tell them she's missing!" as the fear factor underneath the truth Tim spoke was allowed full access to his overloaded mind his panic began to take over. Seeing it coming, Gibbs crouched down in front of him.

"McGee! Don't. Do. This! You hear me? Calm down."

Even as his breathing was still ragged, Tim nodded confirmation that he'd heard his boss. Putting his head down, he forced himself to regain control of his situation, slowly gaining ground on it, much to the relief of his team.

Before anyone had time to continue on with their assignments, Gibbs' phone rang. "Yeah. Gibbs." As he listened, his face went pale and he carefully reached out and gripped his desk. Although the call was short, it was also, obviously very upsetting. All three team agents were instantly concerned by their boss' silence and the concern etched on his face.

"Yeah, Okay. Got it." was the only response he gave before ending the call, typical Gibbs response. None of them were fooled.

Even the agent who, just moments ago, had felt his world shaken up worse than he'd thought possible, though not as badly as he'd feared, yet, was now concentrating on his boss. When Gibbs looked up and noticed he had garnered the attention of not only his three agents, but the good M.E. as well, he stood up and did what needed to be done.

"We're needed up in the Director's Office." he announced. He, in an unusual move, did not make the first move toward heading up there, but, rather, waited until his agents moved toward the stairs, choosing, this time, to take up the rear as they ascended the stairs. His concern was for his agent who was still being watched over by Ducky, even as they continued to head toward the Director's office. Once outside her office, Ducky made to leave but was forestalled by Gibbs, who silently pointed him in the same direction they were all going.

Ducky was immediately concerned for the young man he was already worried about. For Gibbs to need the M.E. in this meeting was most definitely not a good sign. He could only pray for the best. Whatever this was about, the team was facing it together, which gave Ducky a glimmer of hope that it was not personal for any of them.

Upon entering the Director's Office, the team was brought up short by the sight of a Metro cop sitting at the conference table.


	5. No Such Thing as Coincidence

_Det. Curtis Floyd._

Tim's face lost some more color when he recognized the Metro Detective currently sitting in the Director's Office. How could he ever forget? _Erin Kendall. God, her face still haunted his dreams, reminding him of his failure to save her life from the likes of Jeremy Pryor,_ the sob who'd killed her. _This can't be good._

Director Shepard spared a sympathetic glance for the young man, who'd already been through hell for the last four days. She did not like what she saw. When Gibbs silently handed her the updated information, her heart sank to her feet. Not wanting this to hit Tim cold, she suddenly changed her approach.

"Agent DiNozzo, would you and your team please go take a break? Make sure Agent McGee gets something to eat. I'll call you when we're ready for you."

As Gibbs' team turned to leave her office, Tony taking up the rear of the group, Jenny snagged his arm and held him back as she whispered: _"DO NOT let him see any newscasts!"_

Tony turned his startled and stricken eyes to her, silently begging her to tell him that she wasn't saying what it sounded like she was saying.

_"I mean it!"_ was all she said before she let go of his arm and turned back to Gibbs, Ducky and Dt. Curtis.

After they were gone, Jenny began to make the introductions but Gibbs brought her up short and surprised her:

"Detective Curtis. Why is it every time we meet, my Agent winds up getting the feet knocked out from under him?"

"Agent Gibbs. I agree. Seems like every time our cases overlap, it turns out to be a bad experience for your boy."

'"Agent McGee" Gibbs reminded him. Turning to Jenny, Gibbs said:

"You said you had an update on McGee's parents and that it wasn't good. With Dt. Curtis present, that can only mean McGee's parents are part of a case for Metro?"

Jenny nodded and pointed to the TV. as she silently turned it on.

**BREAKING NEWS STORY - Live News Report  
**_Couple found murdered in their D.C. Hotel Room_

As the words on the screen penetrated Gibbs' brain, he barely heard those of the reporter.

_"Officials are reporting that the names of the murder victims have not been released, pending family notification out."_

The news footage showed the outside of a local hotel, "_The couple was found murdered in their hotel room late Sunday morning when they didn't check out as scheduled_. _The one fact that the police has released to the media is that they are not local_" the reporter continued on.

The report then switched to a house, the camera panning the yard and closing back in on the front of the house. _"Local police are extending their investigation to the home of the couple and have just arrived there."_ The woman reporter concluded_. "We'll have more information for you as it becomes available."_

As soon as Jenny turned the report off, Gibbs immediately turned to Ducky. "Duck, how do suggest we break this to him?"

"Good heavens, Jethro, any way he finds out will be absolutely devastating for him. You should do it how you feel is best. However, since we were in the process of forcing him to take some time to sleep, before this meeting; I feel we should continue along those lines, as soon as he is informed of this horrible turn of events. We can only hope and pray that we find his sister safe and sound!"

"Sister?" Detective Curtis asked.

Gibbs slid the police report over to the detective while Ducky made a call.

"Mr. Palmer, please bring my medical bag to the Director's Office, post-haste."

Hanging up the phone, Ducky waited by the door for the young man to arrive as requested. Gibbs joined him by the door.

As soon as Jimmy made his appearance, Ducky took his medical bag from him and Gibbs escorted him out, with a parting shot directed at Jenny. "I'll send the team back to you while I talk to McGee."

Walking to the break room, Gibbs told Jimmy, "I need you to help Ducky watch over McGee today, Palmer."

"Yes, Agent Gibbs."

Entering the break room, Gibbs sent the team, Palmer included back to the Director's Office. A scant 10 seconds later, he found his Senior Field Agent stubbornly re-seating himself next to McGee in what Gibbs knew was DiNozzo's way of letting Gibbs know, Tim wasn't gonna be allowed to go through this without his big brother at his side.

"Tim. We've found out why you haven't been able to reach your parents." Gibbs told him quietly.

"Something's happened to them." Tim whispered painfully. "That's why Detective Floyd is here."

"Yeah. Tim. You're right. I'm sorry." Gibbs offered.

"From the tone of your voice, whatever it is is pretty bad. Just tell me, please. Boss!"

"Tim." Gibbs stopped. _God, how do you do this? How do you tell your agent that not only is his sister missing, but his parents have been murdered? Put together with the two murdered friends of Sara's and how do you not get "serial killer" out of it? You damn sure don't get coincidence out of it! _

_"_Boss, you're trying to tell me they've been murdered, right? This murder is targeting Sara and everyone close to her. Why?" Tim's voice was climbing toward hysteria.

Tony reached out a calm hand to steady his teammate. "Tim, we're gonna figure it out, okay? But, we can't do it without you. So, you're gonna have to calm down."

"Is that everything?" Tim asked somewhat calmer.

"Except the news reports that are on about it, yes." Gibbs told him honestly.

"Let's get this over with. I'm assuming Floyd needs to talk to me?" Tim asked in resignation as he stood up, preparing to go back to the Director's office.

"I think he might have a few questions for you." Gibbs quietly told him reluctantly, knowing it would be a most unpleasant conversation for the young man.

Together, the three of them silently walked back, headed into the lion's den. Only this time, the lion was the reality the messenger had come to deliver news of.

Back in the Director's Office, Ziva, Abby and Jimmy were coming to grips with the news report they'd just watched, as well as the information the Detective had just given them. Jenny had wanted them prepared to help Tim when he came back in, not be busy absorbing the shock themselves.

Soon enough, Jenny's door opened and Gibbs ushered Tim and Tony in, and walked them over to her conference table. Before she could speak, Tim spoke:

"Director, I understand Detective Floyd is here with news of my parents. If we could just cut to the chase, I would appreciate it."

Jenny silently handed the floor over to the Detective. "Agent McGee, maybe it would be simpler if you just look at this." he pointed to the TV, which Jenny promptly turned back on so Tim could see the report for himself.

As the words began to penetrate his mind and the images from the television imprinted themselves on his brain, his face lost all color and the only thing keeping him from falling out in the floor was Gibbs and Tony, one on each side of him, holding him up. When the report switched to the outside view of the couple's home, nothing was able to stop Tim McGee from crumpling in a heap, his mind and body both overloaded and long overdue for some shut down


	6. There's More

As Tim was given the opportunity to allow his body to catch up on his much-needed sleep, the team returned to the squad room along with Det. Curtis. Gibbs had already reached an agreement that his team would be working alongside the police department on this. The search of the McGee residence would be halted until Gibbs, Tony and Ziva arrived to assist in the investigation. Jenny would be keeping sharp tabs on Tim to make sure he stayed at NCIS while they were gone.

There was little doubt that he'd be sleeping for a long while anyway. Currently, asleep on the Director's couch, Tim McGee was thankfully not being bothered by the events of the past week. Ducky assured them all that Timothy's body so exhausted, from lack of sleep that he would most likely not be experiencing any bad dreams even with the dreadful events going on around him.

Since the bodies of Timothy's parents had been handed over to NCIS, with the merging of the victims and currently missing Sara McGee, Ducky wasn't going anywhere for quite a while. He only hoped and prayed that Timothy would stay asleep for most of the day. It would take a collective effort of Jennifer, Abigail, Jimmy and himself to keep the young man resting and well away from Autopsy for the remainder of the day, should the young man awaken sooner than anticipated. As soon as the unfortunate victims were delivered to Ducky, he got straight to work and with Jimmy's help, they wasted no time in getting started.

Gibbs was worried that Tim wouldn't be able to stay asleep with everything he'd gone through and witnessed in this case that now had a lot more tragedy involved in it. He could do little more than leave Tim's well-being in Ducky and Jenny's capable hands while he, Tony and Ziva headed to the house. He sent up a silent prayer that Tim didn't go into autopsy while they were gone. The last thing his agent needed was to walk in on his parents' autopsies.

With the trip being a good three hours, Jenny had arranged for an official escort to get them there faster. Abby was anxiously awaiting any evidence they could text or send her by photos, anything she could do to help. She allowed herself to cry for Tim and his family now, while she waited for something to do. _Why did this have to happen? Why Tim? Why those poor girls?_

The two-hour drive to the house was made in complete silence. All of them were deeply entrenched in their thoughts and feelings about what their teammate was going through and what the loss of his parents would do to him when he was able to function enough to comprehend it all. Right now, they knew he was blissfully beyond exhaustion, but they feared for the upcoming reality when it hit him. The rage radiating from Gibbs on Tim's behalf kept them all fired up and determined to catch this bastard. They all hoped they would be able to help him through it. All of them wished he didn't have to be going through this. _Why Tim's parents? Why those girls? Where was Sara? What was the connection? Was it Sara? Was it Tim?_

Once at the McGee house, Tony, Ziva and Gibbs were allowed in with no fuss. In fact, the locals LEO's were more than happy to hand jurisdiction over to the Feds. The crime rate in their area had more than tripled in the last 2 months and they were swamped and understaffed. As Gibbs walked through Tim's childhood home, his heart broke even more for his agent. Someone had trashed the house from top to bottom. There wasn't a single room that had been left untouched by the rampage. This smelled of personal vendetta.

"Jethro, why is it we can't seem to stay out of each other's way?" a shockingly familiar voice asked him as he stood looking at the chaos and destruction in the master bedroom.

Even the sheets on the bed had been ripped and shredded. Looking up from the bed, he looked over at the voice in actual relief. He was more than grateful to have someone here he knew and trusted. Hopefully, they could solve this case before anything bad happened to Sara McGee or any other person in the monster's sights.

"Tobias, what brings you into this? McGee's parents, his missing sister? It can't be the rape and murder of the two girls who were last with Sara McGee and planning a trip with her" Gibbs asked.

"The missing college student. Wait, this is your McGee's family?" Fornell asked in complete and utter shock.

"Yeah, Fornell, it is. He's been looking for his sister since Thursday and now this." Gibbs informed him quietly, still angry beyond measure but now surprised. Surely, Fornell would have already known this.

"Oh, my God, Gibbs!" Fornell exclaimed in horror. "Where is McGee now?"

"Back at NCIS, trying to deal with it all." Gibbs told him protectively. No one was getting their hands on his agent, of that there had better be no doubt.

"How's he holding up?" Fornell asked in concern. He always did like that kid.

"Right now, he's not, Tobias. He's spent the last four days looking for his sister, not eating or sleeping and it's caught up to him. On top of that he just got this handed to him." Gibbs told him with his voice full of anger for what his agent was going through.

"Poor kid." Tobias sympathized. "What do we have so far?" he changed the subject, knowing they needed to get on this case.

"Just got here, Fornell. Don't have anything yet." Gibbs told him.

"**_BOSS!"_** came Tony's very upset call from down the hall.

"_**Yeah! On my way**_!" Gibbs hollered back with a look in Fornell's direction. Together they headed toward the room where Tony was standing in the doorway. Gibbs' gut clenched and twisted. This couldn't be good. As he stepped up, Tony stepped back, horror written all over his face. Ziva was suddenly there, too and as she looked into the room. The shock that came over her face was frightening.

Looking away from his agents and into the room. Gibbs felt his heart stop.

Beside him, Tobias Fornell breathed out: "_Oh, My God!"_


	7. Silent Vows

_As he stepped up, Tony stepped back, horror written all over his face.  
Ziva was suddenly there, too and as she looked into the room. The shock that came over her face was frightening.  
Looking away from his agents and into the room. Gibbs felt his heart stop.  
Beside him, Tobias Fornell breathed out: "Oh, My God!"_

That this room had been Tim's room was obvious with the MIT Degree and the Academic Achievement Awards displayed on the walls, or at least the two that somehow remained hanging precariously by one corner, anyway. As with the rest of the house, this room had been completely trashed, even the bed had been tossed. The window was broken and shattered glass was everywhere from the frames on the walls as well as from the window. The wrestling team, debate team and chess club trophies also lay in the floor, smashed. Clothes had been strewn about. Thankfully, the clothes hadn't covered the biggest portion of the glass-covered floor. _Thank God, Tim's not here to see this._ Gibbs thought.

But what had drawn the feeling of horror from them was the body lying in the floor, strewn there like a doll someone had tossed away. At first glance whoever it was appeared to be dead. There was so much broken stuff everywhere, even over this person's face, the first gut reaction had been that they'd found yet another victim in this ongoing case that was rapidly piling up more than its fair share of tragedy.

Something in Gibbs' gut made him look much more carefully at the body. Quickly, putting his brain back on to Investigator mode, Gibbs quickly approached the body and instantly checked the victim's neck for a pulse with one hand, while clearing the debris from the face and head of the victim with his other hand. As Tony cleared the area around the body, Gibbs unexpectedly, but quite happily announced the woman, as they could now see she was, had a pulse!

As Ziva immediately pulled out her cell phone and called for an ambulance, Fornell breathed a sigh of relief and went to take Tony's place by the woman who was still clinging to life, wanting to be there in case she came to. Tony immediately got back to processing the scene. They'd have to move their victim when the ambulance arrived and the crime scene would be better processed before that had to happen.

Silently, they were all hoping and praying that this woman, whoever she was, would recover from this, not only as a possible witness, but as a person in her own right. And while all of them breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't Sara they'd just found in this condition, beaten almost to death and left for dead, it also now had them all even more concerned for her safety and anxious to find her. Thirty minutes later, with the house thoroughly searched and no additional victims found; the woman was safely in an ambulance on her way to the hospital with Fornell right behind her.

NCIS turned its' focus onto completing the investigation at the house. Fornell had personally handed over a team of three his own agents into Gibbs' command, to assist, now that there was a possible witness, this crime scene needed to be processed as soon as possible. Gibbs immediately gave them the task of photographing, bagging and tagging the evidence as soon as Tony finished sketching each room. There was much doubt in Gibbs' mind that the FBI even knew how to sketch crime scenes or how important it was to casework.

Knowing that the answers could possibly be in the family's private papers, Gibbs set Tony and Ziva on that task with a look that promised dire consequences for any ill-conceived comment or less than stellar comment or even attempt at humor ever directed Tim's way over any of this. Gibbs needn't have worried about it though. As it was, it was hard to figure out who was more angry and outraged at this, right now Gibbs, Tony and Ziva all exchanged looks that spoke volumes that were off the charts. They were all too angry to speak, wordlessly, they got to work.

_We'll find who did this, Tim_. Gibbs silently vowed as he read the matching fury in Tony and Ziva's eyes.

_We will catch who did this to your family, McGee_. Ziva silently vowed as she felt and shared in the unbridled anger coming from Tony and Gibbs.

_Don't you worry, Probie, we'll catch this bastard!_ Tony vowed in silence.

Tony couldn't think of anything less funny in his entire life. Tony knew Gibbs hated having to treat Tim's family home like a crime scene and he and Ziva hated having to do it. The thought of rifling through Probie's parents' personal papers made Tony feel like he was committing treason against his little brother. _Brother. Right. They have to find Sara. Can't do that without more information, most likely in these papers_. Tony forced himself to reach the justification so he could focus on what he had to do instead of how wrong it felt. _Necessary._ That was the word he forced his brain to focus on. Stoically, he and Ziva continued to work their way silently through the McGee family library. With most of the books and papers strewn all over the place with little respect for their condition or rarity of edition or private nature, they were more than happy to spare Tim from seeing this. Steadily, once photos and sketches were completed, all the agents worked to put the strewn items as neat as possible; no one wanted Tim or Sara to have to it.

Gibbs needed to talk to Tim. Knowing his agent needed to sleep as badly as the investigation needed to know who this woman was, he settled for talking to Jenny, putting the task of finding out who the victim might be, in her hands, knowing she'd find the opportunity if Tim so much as stirred in his sleep. Hopefully, the woman would recover and they'd get a lot more than her name.

Leaving the house evidence gathering under Tony's leadership, Gibbs took himself to the neighbors, taking on the questioning of them himself. The McGee's lived on a quiet street with few homes, each on its own large acre or two of land. After talking to all the neighbors, none of whom had seen anything, it seemed, Gibbs turned his attention to the street that ran behind the house. As he got to the property line behind the house, he was surprised to find an empty piece of property on the other side of the road, and that behind the empty land was a large shopping center that spanned the width of the McGee property and other businesses flanking it on either side, all the way down the road for a good mile in either.

_Well, that figures. Investigations never run smooth. Yeah, well, Fornell can have the fun with this_! Gibbs thought as he took out his phone and called the guy.

"Fornell, how's our witness?" Gibbs asked.

_"Gonna be okay, Gibbs. She has a couple of broken ribs and a hell ova lot of bruising, but at least we can be thankful whoever did this didn't rape her."_ Fornell answered him in relief.

"Thank God. Sounds like he just wanted to make sure she couldn't talk. Has she spoken to you yet?" Gibbs asked.

_"No, not yet. The Doctor said they'd let me know when she's awake. Your man give you a name as to who she might be?"_ Fornell answered with his own question.

"Workin on that." Gibbs told him "Listen, the property backs up to a road across from a shopping center called The Square. It's all yours."

_"No problem. I'll get some teams working on it ASAP. Whattaya ya mean workin' on it, Gibbs? You're tellin me you haven't just outright asked him who she could be?"_ Fornell was obviously getting pissed.

"Tobias! I already told you McGee's in no shape to be involved in this investigation! My director will get an answer from him as soon as she can and she will call me when she does. I'll let you know when I know." Gibbs told him with no doubt it wasn't open for discussion.

_"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't send some of my guys over to your director right now and demand your agent give us the information we need?"_ Tobias pushed.

"Because, Tobias, My director won't push him anymore than I am. It won't end well for anyone who does. It definitely won't end well for us." Gibbs' tone promised a less than positive end to their working relationship if Fornell didn't back down real quick.

_"Okay."_ Fornell conceded. _"Let me know when you find out."_ Tobias disconnected the call. _Guess, I should have known better than to think Gibbs would let anyone near one of his agents when the case in question was so personal to the agent in question_. _I promise you, McGee, we'll get this bastard!_

It had been an hour since he'd left the house to go talk to the neighbors and as he attempted to put his phone away, it rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Jethro, how's the investigation going?"_ Jenny's voice came through, sounding merely curious. _Well, at least she's not upset, McGee must be okay._

"Nothing new yet, Jen. Neighbors don't talk to each other here, my guess is they don't much care to look outside their own doors." Gibbs said with a touch of anger at the callousness he'd encountered from McGee's neighbors. They'd all spoken of _"those people, always acting like they cared about the rest of us, but we all knew better. It was too nice, had to be just an act. "_

_"Wow."_ Jenny said in disbelief. _"Tim's awake, Jethro. He said his parents have a housekeeper, Maria Tomey. She comes on Fridays and has her own key to the backdoor. The lock on the front door is different. He said the security company should have been monitoring the house while his parents were away. His description of Maria matches the one you gave me."_

"Okay. Good. At least we know who she is. Fornell says she's expected to be okay. She's got some broken ribs and is bruised all over, wasn't raped. Let McGee know, he'll be worried sick knowing Sara's friends were raped before they were killed. How is he, Jen?" Gibbs asked with concern.

_"He's managed to get in a couple of hours of sleep. I didn't notice any restlessness while he slept. Says he's bored and not being a good agent if he's not helping the team work the case."_ Jenny told him.

"Put him on." Gibbs requested.

Jenny put the phone on speaker. _"Boss?"_ Tim timidly asked, his voice laden with worry and an exhaustion he hadn't yet been able to shed.

"McGee, you sound like you need more rest. Whattaya ya doing awake?" Gibbs asked in an unexpected display of concern.

_"Can't sleep anymore, Boss. I need to find Sarah. I need to be doing something!"_ Tim exclaimed, letting his emotions jump back into his tone.

"Easy, Tim. Relax". The boss man soothed unexpectedly. "Is the director still around?"

_"Right here, Jethro."_ Jenny told him, letting him know he was on speakerphone.

"Jen, give him some backup, I want him to go back to Sara's dorm room, I know he's already done it, but fresh eyes might find something he didn't when he was handling it alone. McGee, don't you touch anything, you let whoever goes with you handle whatever you find. You concentrate on trying to find out who else Sara was hanging out with, that maybe you weren't aware of. Keep a witness with you at all times " Gibbs directed.

_"Jethro, I'll give him three agents."_ Jenny conceded.

"Thanks, Jen." Gibbs replied.

_"Boss? You're looking at this being personal against Sara?"_ Tim asked in distress. _My parents killed because of one of their kids? Oh, my God!_

My gut's telling me that it's personal, Tim." Gibbs told him with sympathy. "The evidence is too."

_"Evidence?"_ Tim asked in a horrified whisper. _"How's Maria?"_ he quickly changed his focus, needing to for his own good.

"McGee, Listen to me. We'll talk about this later. The director can fill you in on how your parents' housekeeper's doing. I need you to go do what I said and talk to the people she knew on campus again." Gibbs directed him, hating having told him as much as he had already.

_"Okay."_ Tim conceded quietly.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked, knowing Tim would get the importance of the tone.

_"Boss?"_ his agent asked in concern.

"Keep your head on straight. You hear me? Don't make me have to pull you off this case." Gibbs said with meaning.

_"Yes, Boss."_ Tim answered back in a tone that promised Gibbs he wouldn't be disappointed.

"Jen. A minute?" Gibbs asked letting her know he needed to talk to her alone.

"I'll call you when I have his backup in place, Jethro." Jenny promised as she disconnected the call and filled Tim in on Maria's condition. As Tim went back to his desk, she proceeded to make the arrangements. Tim, once back at his desk, brought up the list of Sara's contacts and the contents of the current file on the case. They would need to have these names on hand to avoid any extra legwork or people chasing.

A short thirty minutes later, Jenny came downstairs with three NCIS agents. "Agent McGee, this is Agent Johnson, Agent Kane and Agent Mills." she introduced the men at her side. All three of them were sturdy enough looking characters But Tim felt distinctly uncomfortable working with new agents he hadn't worked with before, not to mention ones that looked like they were still in high school like these guys did. _How long had these guys been agents, anyway? Sara looked older than these guys, for cryin' out loud!_

Jenny had all she could do not to chuckle at the expression on McGee's face at the moment. Sadly enough, the only reason she knew what he was thinking was because Gibbs knew his people so well. The conversation she'd just had with him a moment ago had prepared her for this.

_"Jethro, I'm assigning Agents Pete Johnson, Adam Kane and Trevor Mills, to work with McGee while you're gone."_

_"Jen, are you serious" You're gonna give McGee a heart attack. He's gonna think they're younger than his sister! All three of them are more baby-faced than McGee ever was!." Gibbs had reminded her in frustration._

_"Relax, Jethro, I'll take care of it. They're fully qualified to be his backup." Jenny had promised._

_"They'd better be!" Gibbs had announced, the promise of having their badges if anything happened to his agent in his absence rang clear in his tone._

_"Just get that scene wrapped up and get back here" Jenny had melted back into Director mode, slightly annoyed that Gibbs would question her ability to look after one of their own, just because he happened to be one of Gibbs' own._

_"Workin on it." Gibbs said with iron as he disconnected the call. _

McGee knew that Gibbs knew who his backup was, and since these were the Agents he was being given to work with, he bit the bullet and did as Gibbs had taught him, got his head back in the game.

"Agent McGee, you're leading this part of the case work. You have one of these three to be the witness you need and the other two for collecting any evidence you find. You decide. Any questions, continue to follow up with Gibbs." Jenny directed.

Tim called to mind what Gibbs would expect of him: '_Case now, grief later' - isn't that Gibbs' unspoken rule?_

It was time to step up and _not _be the Probie. His sister was missing and his boss was trusting him to do this right, by the book. He had a lot of expectation to live up to and he was not prepared to let either of Sara or Gibbs down.

Thank you, Director." Tim respectfully gave as he shouldered his bag, geared up and led the way out of the squad room. "Let's go."

He couldn't let his parents down

Silently, he vowed:_ Don't worry, Mom, Dad, I'll find Sara._


	8. Keeping Focus

Silently, he vowed:_ Don't worry, Mom, Dad, I'll find Sara._

Gibbs kept his word and called Fornell back with the update. As he finished sharing the information he had with the FBI agent, Tobias, in turn, told Gibbs that their witness wasn't awake yet, but he'd let Gibbs know what she had to say as soon as she did.

Heading back into the house, Gibbs sought out Tony and Ziva. "You two find anything about the alarm company the McGee's were using? McGee said they should have been monitoring the house while his parents were out of town."

"Yeah, here it is, Boss. "ACE Security" Tony answered. "I'll check with them. How is Probie?"

"He's fine, Tony. I sent him to re-examine Sara's room and talk to her friends again, hopefully, someone will tell him something new we can work with. Whattaya ya got in here?"

"Nothing, Gibbs." Ziva answered in frustration.

"Go check the desk on the right side of the room in the study. Start with the date book, should be in the middle drawer." Gibbs told her. "Then you and Tony go through the rest of the room. Fornell's agents have the rest of the house under control"

Tony looked at him speechlessly.

"Something wrong, DiNozzo? "Gibbs asked in a frustrated tone

"No, Boss. Just wonderin' how you do it."

"Easy, Tony, I hire agents who know how to give me important information when it counts." Gibbs said dryly.

"Ah. Okay, Probie told you." Tony said with irony.

"Yeah, something like that." Gibbs said with a chuckle as Tony looked at the paper in his hand and dialed the number to the Security Company.

Tim and his counterparts drove to Waverly Campus and upon their arrival, split into two sets of two, once Tim let them into Sara's dorm room. Choosing to divide the three agents assigned to work with him, by experience, Tim requested Agent Kane, who'd been an Agent as long as Tony, to remain in charge of collecting evidence from Sara's room, along with the less experienced Agent Mills. Since Agent Mills had only been an agent for three years, Tim didn't feel comfortable having him along as his witness. Tim wanted to make sure there'd be no chance of anything he said to anyone involving this case to be thrown out as contaminated evidence. Sure, a three-year agent was capable of being a reliable witness, but a five year agent set Tim's mind more at ease about things.

As he and Agent Johnson went through and exhausted the list of people of interest in Sara's campus life, they came up with no new leads. It had taken them more than two hours and they were headed back to the dorm room when Tim's phone rang while it rested in its' carrying case on his hip.

"Agent McGee." Tim pulled the phone out put it on speaker and answered it without looking at the id. Driving back toward campus, he could only hope this call was some good news.

_"McGee, Maria Tomey woke up and gave us a name."_ Tony said without missing a beat. Unbeknown to the younger agent, the phone at the other end was also on speaker, at Gibbs' request. He wanted to hear the whole conversation so he could pick up on how things were going and if his agent was still holding it together.

Tim could hear the familiar screeching of tires and the exclamations from his teammates. Gibbs was driving them somewhere in his usual style.

"Someone Sara knows." Tim supplied, knowing that was the only reason they'd be calling him and telling him this. Agent Johnson looked at Tim in surprise at this statement, but otherwise wisely kept his mouth shut.

_"Yeah, how'd you know?"_ Tony asked in obvious surprise.

"Only reason you'd be callin' me, Tony." Tim told him with just a hint of bitterness. "What's the name?" he asked, stomping back the emotion that had slipped out, not wanting to dwell on anything but solving this case.

Gibbs frowned at the unexpected tone of Tim's answer but stowed his reaction away quickly as he shot Tony a warning glance.

_"Martin Anderson. Ms. Tomey said Sara's been dating him for two months but he was bad news. She said he and Sara came to the house on Friday. Apparently they were looking for something and didn't find it. She said he..."_ Tony supplied, too caught up in handing out the information to either catch Tim's tone or heed Gibbs' warning look from a second ago.

"Tony!" Gibbs snapped at him. The last thing he wanted was for Tim to be told this guy would have raped the housekeeper if Sara hadn't intervened. Gibbs especially didn't want Tim to find out that this bastard had belted Sara across the face for her efforts, hard. It certainly wouldn't help his agent right now, if he were knew his parents and his sister had fought a great deal over her dating this guy. Gibbs knew that if Tim had known about this guy, the name would have been at the top of the list of the people Tim had spoken to when he first found out Sara was missing and he'd have said something by now.

_"Huh? Oh. Right! Anyway, Probie, just needed to know if you knew about him or anything on him. Oh, and Gibbs wants to talk to you."_ Tony finished as Gibbs took over the conversation

_"McGee?"_

"Hey, Boss." Tim said quietly. "I've never heard of this guy. We've re-interviewed everyone on the list and no one has offered anything new. I've got Agents Kane and Mills going over Sara's room again. They should be done by the time Agent Johnson and I get back there." His mind was currently going in a thousand different directions. Obviously, Maria had told them more, but Gibbs didn't want Tim to hear it. That was bad, very bad. But, Tim knew that Gibbs wanted them to focus on moving forward with the case. So, he stoically refused to get sidetracked into any discussion other than case evidence that would catch this bastard.

_"Okay. Good."_ Gibbs rewarded what he knew was a herculean effort on Tim's part to ignore what Tony had just told him and what he had to have suspected Gibbs had stopped him from saying. _"Go get something to eat, all of you, go back to NCIS and all of you get your reports written up and leave them on my desk. As soon as they're done, let them go home and you get back upstairs to the Director and tell her I said I want you resting until we get back. There'll be plenty for you to do when we get there."_

_Plenty to fill you in on, too_. Gibbs silently told him.

"Okay. I will, Boss." Tim replied. "Boss?" Tim's tone was still quiet.

_"Yeah, McGee."_ Gibbs answered calmly, hoping Tim wasn't gonna ask him something he didn't want to bog him down with.

"What did the security company say?" Tim asked with concern evident in his voice.

_"We'll talk about it when we get back. Nothing to worry about."_ Gibbs promised him.

"Okay. Thanks, Boss." Tim said quietly as he disconnected the call. He knew that was a lot the boss wasn't telling him, but Gibbs had his reasons and right now, Tim wasn't gonna fight him on it. Finding Sara was first on everyone's mind and that was all that mattered anyway.

"Tony, what the hell's wrong with you?" Gibbs demanded as soon as Tim had hung up.

"Boss?" Tony was baffled.

"_You _wanna be the one to knock him off his feet?" Gibbs asked angrily.

"Course not, Boss." Tony answered, actually insulted at the question.

"Then why the hell would you not watch what you tell him?" Gibbs demanded in a slightly less angry tone as he tried to cool his anger.

"Boss, you know he'll hate it when he finds out we kept stuff from him." Tony defended himself.

"Yeah, he will, Tony. But, he'll get over it, if it helps him keep his head on straight now, while we need to find his sister." Gibbs softened his tone as he reminded his Senior Agent of what was more important." In fact, he'll probably thank us for it."

"Yeah, you're right, Boss." Tony admitted.

"Let's hope we find Sara!" Gibbs encouraged.

"Let's get this bastard!" Tony supplemented Gibbs' hope with the other hope they all had.

"All we have to do is hope Abby can find him with the information we sent her." Ziva added. "Gibbs, I understand why you do not want McGee to talk to our suspect, but why did we not send the information to him and let him do what he does best?' she asked.

"Because Ziva, he's still at the college and Abby can have it done by the time he gets back there." Tony explained for him."Not to mention, we don't want him going all 'big brother' on us and going after the guy by himself."

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs exclaimed.

"Look, Boss. I know you think he's got his head on straight, but we all know the lengths he's gone to before to protect his little sister. Now her life's actually in danger and you don't think he'd do anything off the books if it means getting her back?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Normally, Tony. I would agree with you. But, you are forgetting how distressed McGee was when he thought he had lost Gibbs' trust because of that. You are also forgetting how seriously McGee takes being in Gibbs' good graces." Ziva came back.

"He knows we need this one done by the book. I've already warned him as such." Gibbs promised as he took a minute to process and file away what Ziva just said. It was true, McGee was driven to keep Gibbs' faith and trust in him and he was miserable whenever he thought he'd screwed with that. Gibbs also knew that Tim trusted him implicitly to find his sister before it was too late, if it was humanly possible.

As Gibbs' phone rang, his thoughts were brought back to the present and he handed his phone to Tony who promptly put it on speakerphone as he hit the button that would allow Gibbs to answer it

"Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Gibbs! I got him! He's at McGee's apartment! I guess he thinks McGee's at work and won't be home for a while."_ Abby said with excitement. _"Go get that bastard, guys!"_

"Or he's biding his time till McGee gets home." Gibbs said darkly. The thought of his agent being a target in his own home shot his rage through the roof, but he forced himself to contain it as he kept his own head on straight and concentrated on his driving.

"Abby, how do you know he's there right now?" Tony asked as Gibbs put his foot down on the gas pedal and made the exit that would take them to McGee's apartment. Oddly enough, they weren't far from it. Gibbs sent up a silent prayer of thanks and hope that this would get them to Sara before it was too late.

_"He's slick, Tony, but he's stupid, too. His cell phone bill was easy to track down and he's been using it. I've traced it. He's on it right now!"_

Ziva's cell phone rang, "Ziva David" she answered it quietly.

As Tony muted Abby's call when Ziva's phone had rung., Ziva put her phone on speaker and raised her voice to normal as she repeated her name, having gotten no answer the first time she'd said her name.

_"Ziva?"_ came the frightened broken voice of Sara McGee.


	9. We Got Her!

_"Ziva?" came the frightened broken voice of Sara McGee. _

"Sara?' Ziva asked loudly but as calmly as she could under the circumstances. She didn't want to spook the girl, but she did need her to talk to her.

_"Ziva, Tim told me if I was ever in trouble and couldn't call him, to call you, since you live close to him. I need help!"_ Tim's long lost little sister cried.

"Sara, are you at Tim's apartment?" Ziva asked.

_"Yeah. If I was back in D.C. I would have called Agent Gibbs."_ Sara explained.

"That does not matter. I am with Agent Gibbs right now in the car. Are you all right?' the Mossad Officer asked her.

_"I think so."_

"Sara? It's Agent Gibbs. Why can't you call Tim?"

_"You can't let him come home!"_ the young girl whispered frantically. _"Martin's dangerous. He's waiting for Tim right now!"_

"Where is he, Sara?" Gibbs asked her quietly.

_"Inside, sitting in Tim's living room."_ Sara said as she began to cry.

"Where are you?" Ziva asked her.

_"I slipped out Tim's bedroom window, managed to make it down the fire escape. You gotta help me! You gotta keep Tim safe! Don't let him come home!"_ Sara's voice was choking with her crying.

"Easy, Sara. We're not gonna let anything happen to your brother. But we need you to be safe too." Gibbs told her as Tony called for backup on Gibbs' phone. "Doesn't he know you have the phone?"

_"He's asleep. I can't talk for long. Oh my God, he's coming! Hurry, please!"_ she whispered urgently.

_"Hey! Sara! What the hell are you doing out here?" _

The occupants of the car held their breath as they hurtled toward Tim's apartment building, listening to his little sister in trouble on the other end of the cell phone they quickly muted on their end so they wouldn't make things more dangerous for Sara. They were thankful she'd left hers on, on her end as well. _Tim trained her well, obviously_. Gibbs thought with a touch of pride.

_"I was just getting some fresh air."_ the young girl's voice came through the phone shaky. She had obviously forced herself to stop crying.

_"Well, get your ass back up here. I want you to watch me show you how you take care of bullying older brothers. Before the night's over he'll be out of our hair for good just like those no good friends of yours and those overbearing parents you had!"_

"_What did you do?"_ Sara demanded.

_"What the hell do you mean what did I do? You know damn well I put your stupid girlfriends out their misery." _

_"Heather and Allison were my best friends, Martin! You killed them?_ The young girl asked in anger

_"You know damn well I did!"_

_What did you do to my parents, Martin?"_ Tim's sister demanded again.

_"I just told you, Sara, the same thing I did for your best friends. Best friends, hah. What the hell does that mean anyway?."_

_"OH, MY GOD! YOU KILLED MY PARENTS?"_ Sara's anguished scream tore through the car, bringing tears to the eyes of all three of the agents currently racing to save her from this maniac. _"IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU KILLED MY FRIENDS, YOU HAD TO KILL MY PARENTS, TOO?"_

_"Well, yeah! What the hell else did you expect me do to, let them dictate to us whether or not we could be together? I don't think so! You didn't really think we went to their house for the hell of it, did you? Now, get your ass back up here!"_

_"Oh, God, please get here soon, Agent Gibbs."_ Sara prayed as she cried, her sobs heartbreaking to hear through the phone.. She climbed the fire escape back to her brother's apartment as quickly as she could, not wanting this bastard to have any excuse to do something worse to her,

Tony quickly got back on the phone and demanded that all LEO's go in silently. On Gibbs' order, Tony also pressed for a sniper to set up, ready to take this guy out if they had to. The next words made the realize Sara had forgotten the phone in her pocket was still connected to them.

_Oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening, Mom. Dad, Timmy, Heather, Allison, Maria. I'm so sorry. Oh, God, why didn't I listen to Mom and Dad? Why didn't I go to Tim? I could have gone to him. But no, I knew he'd do a background check on Martin and I was too proud! Look where that's gotten me! Oh, God! What am I gonna tell Tim? Oh, Tim. I'm so sorry. He's gonna be so devastated. Please let Agent Gibbs get here soon!_

Sara's softly spoken words and tears of misery and regret poured through the phone as she was obviously climbing back up the fire escape, her words and crying punctuated by heavy breathing in steps. No one in the car spoke, every one of them were fighting back tears for Sara McGee and their teammate.

Fifteen long minutes later found the agents at Tim's apartment building, with LEO's already on the scene. Police Sgt. Ed Jones rapidly made his way over to Gibbs and gave him the Sit Rep and pointed out the sniper's location. None of his officers had gone up because no disturbances had been reported and they hadn't wanted to tip the guy off or spook him.

Ordering Tony and Ziva to handle the front entrance, Gibbs climbed the fire escape. After making sure no one was in the bedroom. Gibbs slid inside the window and sidled up to the door, listening for conversations. As Tony and Ziva listened at the front door of McGee's apartment, what they heard sent chills down their spines.

**"Did you really think I wouldn't find out, Sara? Huh? You traitor! After everything I did for you! This is how you repay me? What the hell's wrong with you?"**

"Martin, I'm sorry! But, you can't expect me to be okay with this!" Sara's desperate cry was finally heard, giving Tony and Ziva a reason to breathe a sigh of relief.

**"Yeah, I got that when you stuck your nose into things while I was taking care of your parents' nosy housekeeper!.'**

"Martin, I wasn't gonna let you rape Ms. Tomey! It's bad enough you beat her up! She didn't do anything to you!" Sara cried.

**"Yes she did! She's the reason your stupid parents wouldn't give you any of your college money! I was more than happy to put her out of my misery!"**

"What are you saying? What did you do to her? MARTIN? Did you kill her?" Martin, answer me! Did you kill her?" Sara demanded.

**"Hell, yeah, I took her out.! And if you don' shut up, I'll make you wish you were next on my list instead of that meddling brother of yours."**

"He doesn't even know about you, what has he done to you?" Sara cried.

**"I know his kind!"**

_"_NO! Stop this! I won't let you hurt anyone else. You don't even have a good reason for anything you've done!" Sara stormed off toward the hallway, headed past the bedroom to the bathroom.

**"Where the hell you going?"**

_"_To the bathroom! You gonna tell me how to do that, too?" Sara taunted, feeling like she was so far at the end of her rope, she was gonna snap.

**"Nah. I'm sure you can manage that much for yourself. You got 3 minutes. Then you better get your ass in the kitchen and cook me some dinner while we wait for your sorry brother to get home!**

"Yeah. Okay." Sara said as she continued on down the hall. As she passed Tim's room. She slipped inside for a chance to catch her breath. Seeing Gibbs waiting there, she almost screamed. He shook his head at her and stepped up to her ear and whispered,

_"_Get down the fire escape, Metro PD is out front waiting for you, go to them and stay with them. Got it?" Gibbs tone left no room for argument.

She gladly did as she was told and bolted for her escape. As Gibbs gave her time to get out the window and at least halfway down the fire escape, he talked to his help on the ground, let them know Sara was coming out. Tapping another button, he then told Tony and Ziva to listen and wait for their opportunity to come in.

A short minute later, a voice crackled in his ear_: "Gibbs, Sgt. Jones, here. We got he! Repeat, Sara McGee is safe!"_


	10. Unwavering Support

_We got her. Repeat, Sara McGee is safe. _

Thirty tense minutes later, Martin Anderson was safely secured and in FBI custody and Sara McGee was safely secure in Ziva's arms in the backseat of the sedan as Tony drove. Gibbs had taken the rare opportunity to ride shotgun, needing the break and not wanting to scare Sara with his driving. Pulling out his phone, he checked in with Jenny.

_"Jethro, he's still sleeping. I won't wake him till you get here."_

"Good, I don't want him hearing it from anyone else. I want him to see her first." Gibbs told her. "We'll be there in an hour at the rate DiNozzo's driving."

_"Don't worry about it. You could use the time to relax, all of you could. And Tim can use the sleep."_ Jenny laughed.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. You can tell Abby and Ducky, so long as they don't say anything to him." Gibbs offered.

_"That would be good. See you when you get here. Why don't you just bring her straight to my office when you get here?"_ Jenny suggested.

"Planning on it. Thanks, Jen." Gibbs closed the phone and after checking his mirror to see how his agent's sister was doing, he laid his own head back and rested his eyes and his mind now that Sara was also resting with Ziva protecting her and Tony driving normally.

Jenny stepped out of her office and called Ducky and Abby up to see her. Upon their arrival, she quietly told them the good news and ordered them not to say a word to Tim. Jenny informed them that Gibbs wanted to reunite them in person. Abby's eyes lit up at the idea. Ducky smiled at Gibbs' thoughtfulness. He knew the senior agent felt pain for what his youngest field agent had been going through and was happy that Jethro had been able to bring back good news and the missing.

When they arrived back at NCIS, all of them breathed a sigh of relief as they arrived at Jenny's office door. Waiting for them in the outer office was Ducky, Abby and Jimmy. The quiet reunion and congratulations were a warm up for the reunion that would take place inside the office doors. Gibbs' entire team wanted to be there for it and neither he nor Jenny thought that Tim would object.

As Jenny opened her office doors wide to admit them all, Sara flew to her sleeping brother's side.

"Tim." she whispered happily.

When she got no response, she shook him a little and tried again, this time with a little more volume. "Tim."

Instantly, Tim came awake, thinking the Director wanted him for something. "Director? I'm up. I'm up." as he quickly sat up, wiping the sleep from his face.

Chuckles and laughter greeted his ears as his head cleared and his vision focused. Sara sat down next to him on the couch and tried again.

"Timothy McGee."

_Sara!_ Tim's head whipped to her direction

"Sara?" his whisper of hope tugged at some heartstrings. His bone crushing, heart-felt, relief -filled hug that enveloped his sister brought tears and smiles of relief and joy to everyone in the room.

"Oh, Sara! Oh, Thank God!" Tim said reverently as tears of relief filled his eyes.

"You better thank your team, Tim. They found me." Sara said in his ear after they'd clung to each other for what seemed like an hour. Anything else would wait. She wouldn't ruin this moment with the tragedy that had befallen them because of her. She needed to relish this moment for as long as possible.

Tim withdrew from her enough to look in her eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You know it's what they do. Rescue people, right?" Sara asked with a smile.

"Yeah. It is what we do." Tim answered as he let go of his sister and stood to thank his team from the bottom of his heart.

"Hey, Tim. Don't. We understand, man. You don't need to thank us. We're just glad she's safe and back with us." Tony said as he slapped Tim on the shoulder and shook his hand.

Ziva kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. "I will always be here for you and for Sara."

Gibbs just nodded at him silently. He knew that these two had a mountain of grief to get through and would need each other but would also need outside help. The ramifications of Sara's actions would scar her for life without it. Gibbs didn't want to see that happen. He wanted a chance to talk to Tim alone and it looked like Sara could use some food.

"Abby, you and Ziva take Sara to the break room, get her something to eat, a drink." Gibbs requested.

"Sure! C'mon, Sara, I bet Gibbs is right and you're starving, aren't you?" Abby asked, relieved to be able to do something to help.

"Well, actually, I am." Sara admitted.

"I'll go, too, Boss, keep an eye on them. You know three women loose in NCIS, really dangerous." Tony joked as Gibbs nodded at him in appreciation. Ducky sent Jimmy out with them as well, leaving Tim with Gibbs, Jenny and Ducky,

"Boss, I don't know how to..."

"Tim. I get it. I know. Trust me, we're all thankful Sara's safe. It was the least we could do for your parents. But I want you to know something. You did good. I'm proud of you. You kept your head on straight. You didn't even argue with me at anything I told you do to or not do. With everything you had on your shoulders, you still kept it together and I'm damn proud of you." Gibbs rewarded him.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim said with quiet reverence. As much as Gibbs' praise meant to him, the stark reminder of what he still had to deal with brought his feet back down to earth with a resounding thud.

"Timothy, don't let any of this overwhelm you. If you need help with anything, you call on us." Ducky directed him.

"Tim, would you like me to handle the funeral arrangements for your parents?" Jenny asked quietly.

Tim looked at her in surprise, gratitude and guilt. "That's not necessary, Director, I'll..."

"McGee." Gibbs said quietly.

"Boss?"

"C 'mere." Gibbs directed him to the window, knowing it calmed the young man's nerves to be able to see the water and the surrounding outside and to only have to talk to one of them at once.

"Listen to me. We all know this is hard for you, made harder by the fact that you don't know how to deal with your sister's involvement. I can tell you that the more help you accept, the better off you're gonna be. It's the only way you're gonna get through this. And you need to remember, you have nothing to feel guilty about."

"Thanks, Boss. Really. I will accept the help. But you're wrong about one thing." Tim said quietly.

"What am I wrong about?" Gibbs asked patiently.

"Me not having anything to feel guilty about." Tim answered, his voice almost a whisper.

"What do you have to feel guilty about?" Gibbs asked with concern.

"Heather Shale and Allison Reed" Tim answered.

"Okay. What about them?" Gibbs was missing something here.

"Boss, they were Navy Recruits!" Tim reminded him in an almost panicked voice.

"Okay, McGee. Calm down. I get it. You think you could have changed the outcome if you'd reported their status as possibly missing to us sooner." Gibbs replied with understanding and concern. Tim did have a point.

'Not me, Boss. The Director." Tim admitted.

"You let me worry about that. You just keep your head on, accept what help is offered to get you and your sister through these tough times and try to go a little easy on Sara, trust me, she already feels worse than you could ever imagine about all of this. All right?" Gibbs pushed.

"Okay." Tim conceded with gratitude.

"Okay." Gibbs patted him on the shoulder and squeezed his hand on his shoulder in a show of support.

"Boss?" Tim asked.

Gibbs gave him his patented silent look that asks the question silently.

"Do you think everyone on the team would be willing to help me get through their funerals?" Tim asked quietly.

"That's kinda of a dumb question, McGee. Of course your team wants to be there for you. You just have to learn to ask without feeling like you don't deserve their support." Gibbs reminded him.

"Yeah. I guess you're right. Thanks, Boss."

"You're welcome. Now, go take care of your sister. Leave the rest up to us."

"Okay."

*****NCIS***  
**

The next week passed in a blur for Tim. With everyone's help, they got through his parents' funeral. It had been a heart-wrenching day for the entire team. Abby and Ziva had their hands full with their own sorrow for the McGee brother and sister, as well as with trying to be there for Tim and Sara. Tim had taken his strength and his cues from his surrogate male family members. With Gibbs, Ducky, Tony and even Palmer there to hold him up, steady him, and show him firm support, he was able to be there for Sara as well as keep himself together through it all.

The days following the funeral passed in a haze that Tim could barely remember. He remained quiet and withdrawn, only talking when spoken to and frequently looking to Gibbs for silent support. He'd lost his footing and it was sad to watch. But, Gibbs understood where his agent was coming from. He also understood something Tim wouldn't yet admit. His agent needed to talk to someone. He couldn't go through this alone successfully.

Sara was looked after not just by Tim, but by the team as well. With Gibbs' gentle push behind the scene, they managed to at least get her to begin therapy with a Psychologist. Tim still balked at the idea, not wanting to continue to discuss what had happened. He was still struggling with the manly desire to put it all away himself. Gibbs saw the struggle in his eyes. Every day, his agent came to work still looking haunted by the pain, but Tim would close his eyes for a minute and when he opened them back up, he'd be ready to face the day. He was literally putting his emotions away by force. They all knew it would take time.

But, the trouble that had found Tim had been gotten through and the team was still together, stronger than ever and they had saved Sara!


	11. Devasting Repercussions

Tim McGee knew that his days as an NCIS agent were numbered. He'd tried to warn Gibbs that he'd screwed-up in not calling NCIS when Navy Recruits Heather and Allison, his sister's new best friends, couldn't be located for questioning back when Sara had been missing. He'd justified it to himself and to Gibbs in the early hours of Gibbs' joining the investigation into Sara's disappearance, as jurisdiction issues. Well, actually, Gibbs had deemed it as such, obviously having no trouble with that explanation from Tim as to why he hadn't called Gibbs for help in looking for his sister.

But, Tim knew it, he could feel it in his gut, the hammer was coming down on his head, and it would probably fall today. It had been a week since they'd buried his parents. Sara was back in school and seeing a shrink regularly. Tim was functioning at work, with no spirit and no joy or even a glimmer of happiness. His refusal to see a shrink was only known to Gibbs, Jenny and Ducky. Tim's distance from Abby's bubbly personality was known by all. Gibbs had tried to explain it to them as best he could,

"He's grieving, he's the only living relative for his little sister now, and he's got a lot on his plate. You gotta let him handle this his way. He's not endangering any of us out in the field. He's still good at his job and he hasn't asked for help. Let him breathe."

Gibbs had made it sound like an order, so they kept their eye on their grieving teammate as inconspicuously as possible. That didn't mean Tim hadn't noticed it, but it did mean, he never snapped off on anyone for it, in fact, he appreciated that they cared. He just couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom he felt in his gut and that wasn't lifting his spirits any.

When he got to work, earlier than the rest of his team, he took his coffee and went to look out the window by the stairs. Soon, he was lost in his thoughts and didn't notice when he was no longer standing there alone. Gibbs had seen him come in and watched him take himself to the window and get lost in whatever he was thinking about. Knowing, Tim. he was still worried about trouble from above over this case. Gibbs had hoped his agent had been wrong, but he'd gotten the feeling from Jen, that Tim had actually been right.

As he stood, shoulder to shoulder with his agent, Tim seemed to suddenly become aware of his presence. As the young man shifted and took a drink of his coffee, Gibbs did the same, bringing a small smile to Tim's face. Finally, Tim spoke, his voice nervous.

"Mornin'. Boss."

"Hey, Tim. You okay?"

"Yeah, just nervous. I got this weird feeling in my stomach."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's starting to feel like it's a sign that today's the day, the axe is gonna fall." Tim admitted worriedly

"You need to relax. You eaten breakfast yet?" Gibbs asked.

"No, I haven't had much of an appetite in a while." Tim said quietly.

"Have you eaten a decent meal at all since your parents' funeral?" Gibbs demanded to know, albeit quietly.

"No. I've just not been hungry. "Been drinking bout 4 of those 200 calorie nutritional shakes a day, though, Boss. I've managed to take in at least that much." Tim assured him.

Gibbs nodded at him with silent approval as his cell phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs…Be right up." Gibbs told the person on the other end of the call. As he closed his phone, he clasped Tim on the shoulder and told him to go see Ducky for him, let Ducky check him over, make sure he was okay. When Tim started to argue, Gibbs repeated . "Do it for me."

As Tim went to Autopsy to do as Gibbs requested, Gibbs headed up to Jen's office, his gut twisting with the conviction that Tim was probably more right than they'd thought. Stepping into Jenny's Office, Gibbs was brought up short by Jenny sitting at her table, with a file in front of her and the most _'I don't want to be in my own shoes right now'_ look on her face.

"Jen? What's going on?" Gibbs asked.

"Jethro, I've orders to take disciplinary action against your agent." Jenny told him regretfully.

"Let me guess, he didn't notify NCIS when he found out Sara's two friends were missing?" Gibbs asked in anger.

"That's exactly right." Jenny came back at him.

"Jen, he gets a call at 10 on Thursday that his sister and her friends never picked up their rental car. It takes him the rest of the day to find out the names and whereabouts of everyone his sister knew. He gets the names of his sister's new best friends, both of them incidentally Navy Recruits, late in the day, at 5:30 pm, on Thursday, Sara's officially missing. Heather and Allison weren't.

"Yes, but they should have been.!" Jenny told him.

"Jen, that was up to their families, not Tim. He tried to reach their families, He couldn't get an answer. He didn't' do anything wrong." Gibbs told her in rising anger.

"The SecNav disagrees, Jethro." Jenny told him sadly.

"What's the SecNav doing in this?" Gibbs demanded.

"The families of the girls are suing NCIS for its' delayed actions on the case. The parents feel that the girls would have been found alive if we had acted sooner." Jenny told him.

"Jen, Ducky said those girls were killed the on Thursday!"

"Jethro, there's nothing I can do. My hands are tied." Jenny told him regretfully.

"What does the SecNav want you to do about it?" Gibbs asked.

"Tim's resignation." Jenny told him with tears in her eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Jethro stormed. "Doesn't Ducky's time of death mean anything, here? He said those girls died before the 24 hours was even reached that they'd been missing! How in the hell does that wind up on McGee?"

"Jethro, he kept the entire case to himself until the following Monday." Jenny reminded him.

"Jen, he didn't know those girls had been murdered! You know that!"

"Jethro, my hands are tied. This is over my head. There is nothing I can do. I'm sorry."

"Tell that to McGee!" Gibbs raged. "It's not bad enough his parents get murdered and he spends a week of hell thinking his sister's next? Now he gets fired from the job he fought like hell to earn, and one that he loves because someone wants a scapegoat? This is bullshit, Jen and you damn well know it!"

"Even if I agree with you, Jethro, there's nothing I can do about it." Jenny told him again. "Let's get this over with."

Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and called his agent.

"Boss?"

"McGee, need you to come to the Director's Office." Gibbs told him.

"I was right, wasn't I?" Tim asked, his voice cracking.

"C'mon up, Tim." Gibbs said quietly, feeling for him.

"I'll be right up." Tim said sorrowfully. As he hung up the phone, he was grateful that his entire team was standing here with him, in Autopsy, gathered together when Tim had called them to prepare them for this. He didn't want any of them blindsided by what he'd known was coming. They'd all held their breaths as Tim had answered his phone on speaker and they'd all heard the pain in Gibbs' voice. Boss man was not happy but this was obviously out of his hands.

Tearful goodbyes were said all the way around and Tim headed up to the Director's Office to face the music. His team watched him go, with tears in their eyes and anger in their hearts for the director.

Thirty pain filled, angry minutes later, Tim was stoically walking down the steps to the squad room for the last time. Gibbs stayed behind to give Jenny one word of advice. Soon, he had joined his team in wishing Tim well and letting him know that his door would always be open to him. Additionally, Gibbs apologized for not being able to do anything about this.

As Tim packed up his personal belongings, and asked Tony to go clean out his gym locker for him, Tim held on to his emotions, held the lid on with super human strength. At Gibbs' encouragement, blazing in his eyes, Tim smiled back at him, knowing it probably didn't reach his eyes, but it was the best he could do.

Tim made it to his car before he allowed himself to break. As he set his box down on the roof of his car, he leaned his head on his arms, and cried. His shoulders shaking with sobs of anger, outrage, sorrow and regret. Feeling himself pulled from the car and wrapped in a hug, Tim stiffened for only a second, before he recognized the person letting him let go, grounding him with human contact and whispered words of apology:

"I'm so sorry, Tim"


	12. The Fallout

Tim somehow managed to drive safely home to this apartment. It must have been on autopilot because he sure didn't remember how he got there. After Gibbs had surprised him with the unexpected but anchoring support and repeated heart-felt apology in the parking garage; Tim had somehow found the inner strength to pull himself together and thank the man. Now here he was, barely 9:00 AM on a workday and he, Timothy McGee was unemployed for the first time since he'd graduated from Johns Hopkins.

Suddenly, he didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything or anyone at this moment. To get his mind off things, he took Jethro for a romp in the park. At least one of them would get something good out of this. There were too many memories here, but where else could he go? Maybe he needed to get away. Yeah, but if he did that, he'd never come back. Right now, it just wasn't worth it the effort to either. Tying Jethro securely to the tree he sat down next to, Tim laid down, closed his eyes and let his mind wander.

The events of the past month were coming back in full color replay and that's not what he wanted to deal with right now. He'd rather crawl up under a rock than have to think about any of what had happened. Hell, he just wanted to disappear as it was. After all, who the hell would miss him anyway? His teammates would, yeah, but what choice did they have but to go on without him? Sara? Well, his little sister was pretty wrapped up in her schoolwork and in her counseling sessions, which was a good , he'd paid the price for her ignorance, bull-headedness and need to have her own way and that price hurt too damn much. He was hanging on to his ability to be her big brother by a thin thread.

After the havoc and tragedy that had befallen her and even him. It was, as Gibbs had warned, the only thing that keeping her from falling apart. Tim refused to let Sara wallow in any self-pity. As a matter of fact, he'd refused to talk about what happened. It had taken everything he had to put it all away so he could focus on his job, force Sara to talk things out only in counseling. He refused to let her lean on him in place of talking to her shrink. It wasn't good for her and he couldn't deal with it. Thankfully, they'd come to that understanding with only a minor blow-up about it. Sara had called Ziva in tears the night they'd fought about it, just three days after their parents' funeral.

Ziva had calmed her down and convinced her that her big brother was right. It wasn't fair for Sara to expect that much from him. He had too much on him as it was. It didn't mean he wasn't there for her as a big brother, just that there wasn't a whole lot they could talk about at the moment. Ziva kept that conversation to herself, hadn't even told Tim about it. She respected Sara's need to let it out and didn't feel it was right to burden Tim with any of it. In fact, she made the decision to check up on Sara more often, maybe help ease Tim's burden.

The way Tim looked when he left just now, had Ziva feeling relieved that Tim' was comfortable with her checking up on both Sara and himself. You could hear a pin drop in the squad room when the elevator doors had closed on Tim for the last time. Gibbs had the look of someone who was ready to punch steel. Tony knew the boss man was beyond furious. Even so, he was startled when Gibbs hit the stairwell and the sounds of his flying feet could clearly be heard as he ran with the wind at his back.

While Gibbs had been gone, Abby, Ducky and even Jimmy had come up to the squad room and they'd all had a compassionate minute making sure they were all going to be okay. After all, what could they do about it, especially if Gibbs hadn't been able to stop it? When Gibbs came back, they all deliberately ignored what they thought they saw in his eyes. Surprisingly enough, he didn't bark at any of them. Gibbs sat down at his computer, hit a few keys, stood back up, unloaded his gun and locked it in his desk, laid his keys on the desk, took his badge off, set it on the desk, and looked up, to find Jenny watching him from the middle landing on the stairs.

As he glared at her from across the room, he deliberately moved his badge on the desk and stood up. Before he could open his mouth, Jenny was suddenly standing in front of him.

"You don't want to do this." She said quietly in a steely voice.

"Don't I? You sold my agent out and you think I don't want to do this? News Flash for you, Jen. It's done! Didn't you hear what I said to you upstairs?" Gibbs voice was loud and getting louder.

"Of course, I remember." Jenny told him in anger.

"Let me refresh your memory. I believe my exact words to you were: "If you sacrifice his career like this, you can expect my retirement paperwork immediately, effective the minute you let him leave."

"Jethro!" Jenny exclaimed

"No, Jen! I'm done! It was bad enough when you First you wanted me to let Metro railroad Tony and then McGee. Then you wanted to screw with my team's ability to be honest with me when I first came back from Mexico. We got through that it. Barely. Almost cost Tony his life, if you recall. But, this? No, Jen."

"Special Agent Gibbs, you cannot just retire on a moment's notice!" Jenny spit out, suddenly fighting in 'Director's mode'.

"I gave you notice, Director!" Gibbs snapped.

"Boss!" Tony exclaimed as Abby burst into tears.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs barked as he looked at his now former Senior Field Agent.

Tony thought his world was falling apart and as much as he agreed with Gibbs in principle, he knew that this was not what Tim would want to see happening. Tim would be devastated to see this going on. He had to do what he could to stop it.

"Boss, Tim wouldn't want this. He'd be devastated if he was seeing this. You know it, too." Tony told him quietly, after he'd walked up to him.

"Tony. I can't save his job. I can't stop this from happening to the rest of you either. Doesn't that tell you something?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, Boss, it tells me that sometimes this job sucks. It also tells me that you're human. But, Boss, tell me something. Why do you think Tim left without a fight? It wasn't because he deserved to get fired. It was because he respected the rest of us enough not to make waves for us. You know this." Tony pled.

"Jethro, Anthony is right. Timothy would fall on his sword before he'd want this to happen." Ducky added.

"Don't you get it, Ducky? That's just it! That's exactly what he's done!" Gibbs barked, too angry to care about the scene he was creating.

Tony gave up. He couldn't fight this fight alone. _What the hell, if you can't beat em, join em, right? _The Senior Field Agent emptied his gun, locked, it, took out Gibbs' medals from the bottom drawer of his desk, and threw down his own keys and badge. _Line drawn_.

Ziva, who didn't need this job to begin with, followed suite, much to the shock of those around them.

Gibbs was now pissed at Tony and Ziva throwing away their careers. "No! DiNozzo, put your badge back on, you too, Ziva!"

"Boss, we're a team. If you're gonna do something Tim wouldn't like, in protest of how he was treated, then we're gonna do it together as a team." Tony declared.

"Oh, and you think Tim would be happier to see this?" Jenny asked with bitterness and fear. If the entire MCRT team quit, she'd have some serious problems on her hands.

Abby stepped up, tears still falling and opened her mouth.

"No, Abby!" came four simultaneous voices.

"Hah. I can get a job anywhere and you guys know it!" Abby declared in her own voice of revolt.

Gibbs desk phone rang and without thinking, he hit the speakerphone. "Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Agent Gibbs?"_ Sara McGee's frightened voice silenced the squad room instantly.

"Sara, what's wrong?" Gibbs asked, all anger over her brother's unfair firing leaving his voice.

_"I can't reach Tim! Is he out in the field or something? He seemed especially off this morning. I mean he hasn't been himself since all this happened, of course, but he hasn't been sleeping or eating. He won't talk to me. Please tell me he's there with you and he's okay!"_

Gibbs glared at Jenny, daring her to find the guts to answer Sara's plea.

"Sara. Tim's probably fine." Gibbs told her as honestly as he could.

_"Probably? Agent Gibbs, what's going on? Why wouldn't you know for sure that he's okay?"_

"Sara, where are you? Why aren't you in class?" Ziva butted in, trying to save the day and see what was really wrong.

_"I'm in the Campus Security Office. I think I'm being followed. It's freaking me out. I wanted Tim to come get me."_ Sara admitted.

"Tony will come get you." Gibbs assured her while pointedly looking at his Senior Field Agent. Tony nodded, grabbed his weapon and his badge and flew out.

_"Agent, Gibbs. What's going on?"_ Sara pushed.

"Sara, I'll talk to you when you get here, all right?" Gibbs told her.

_"Ok. Thanks for sending Tony to get me."_ Sara replied.

"No problem. Stay there till he gets there." Gibbs closed the phone and glared at Jenny.

"You can't do that if you are now retired and Tony just quit." Jenny told him with a patronizing tone.

"Don't think for a minute that I'm gonna leave that girl unprotected. Just because you threw her brother's career away doesn't mean I'm gonna let something else happen to her. Those two been through enough, Director!" Gibbs fumed as his phone rang again.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

**"Well, how in the hell did that happen, Tobias?"** Gibbs raged**. "When? You got eyes on him? What the hell do you mean, you've lost sight of him? Well, Sara McGee says she thinks she's being followed on campus, what does that tell you, Fornell? I don't have to tell you what's gonna happen if he gets hold of her, do I?"** Ending the call, he barked out orders, back in Supervisor mode,

"Ziva, call Tony, tell him Martin Anderson's on the loose and running free, most likely armed. Abby, get a hold of Tim and warn him."

Fifteen tense minutes later, Abby was crying as she reported not being able to talk to Tim. "Gibbs, he's not answering his house phone. He never had a cell phone that wasn't the agency's."

Before he could say anything, his cell phone rang, "Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Boss, Sara's disappeared."_


	13. Trying To Find Sara

_"Boss, Sara's disappeared."_

Tim McGee had had enough. He needed a break. With that private declaration made, he untied Jethro's leash from the tree a mere five minutes after he'd tied him there, picked himself up off the ground and headed home. Once there, he packed an overnight bag enough to carry him through four days away, wrote Sara a note, talked to his neighbors and took Jethro to the kennel before he drove away from the memories. He needed the sights and sounds of the beach in tranquil peace and quiet. Maybe then, he could begin to figure out what to do with his life. As the miles slipped behind him, he began to feel relaxed. Tim McGee was headed for his first vacation in more than six years.

Gibbs called Fornell who dispatched an army of Agents to Waverly campus to join Tony in the search for Sara McGee. Gibbs took Ziva with him as they headed to Tim's apartment, knowing Fornell had back up on the way there as well. Martin had already threatened Tim's life before and no one had ever thought to tell him, since it had seemed like an open and shut case and they'd been able to throw the book at the bastard. Now, Tim's life was in danger, and his sister was missing yet again, just two weeks since she'd gone missing the first time.

When they got to Tim's apartment, there was no answer, not even the barking of the dog. But, then again, Tim's car wasn't in the parking lot either, so they hadn't expected him to be home. The fact that he hadn't answered his home phone earlier was cause for concern, since he had apparently been home. Jethro was always home when Tim was at work, so Gibbs let Ziva use her spare key to let them in. After they cleared the apartment, they searched for clues of where Tim might have gone. It didn't take long for Gibbs to find Tim's note to his sister.

_Sara:_

_I need to get away._

_Don't worry, I'll be at Grandma McGee's cottage on the beach._

_If you have any problems, please call Ziva. She's promised to always be there for you._

_Jethro is at the kennel._

_If you want to stay at my place while I'm gone this weekend, you can._

_Just don't eat me out of house and home and don't piss my neighbors off._

_In fact, let the neighbors know you're here, cause they're looking out for the place while I'm gone._

_Mrs. Johnson in Apt. 2 is especially fond of you, so let her know you're here._

_Don't skip any of your counseling sessions, in fact, don't do anything to interrupt your sessions or your road to recovery, Sara._

_Because, you know as well as I do that I can't cope with your need to talk about what happened._

_So, don't think we'll be able to talk about it any better when I get back._

_That's not why I'm taking this break._

_Take care of yourself while I'm gone and be careful._

_Tim._

Gibbs felt his heart ache at the pain Tim had allowed to escape out on paper. It didn't escape the older mans' notice that his youngest agent had not left one word of 'love' in his note to his sister. _Oh, yeah, Tim was hurting. Badly; the poor guy. And now, this? But, they needed to find him and fast. Where was this cottage? What beach?_

Gibbs went to the neighbors with the note in hand. Mrs. Johnson in apartment 2 recognized Gibbs and gladly told him what she could. The fact that Tim had just left a mere hour ago, was maddening. Mrs. Johnson provided Gibbs with the information on both the dog's kenneling and the address for the cottage where Tim would be going to. Feeling slightly better, Gibbs put the note back where he found it in case Sara showed up and then he and Ziva headed out. As they headed back to Waverly to help in the search for Sara, Gibbs called Abby and told her to put a BOLO out on McGee's car, and to make sure it was for a family emergency and not a crime! Ziva contacted the Leos along the way to the cottage and requested that McGee be stopped and informed of the need for his return to NCIS due to a family emergency.

The rest of the afternoon was spent working with Fornell's team in an effort to find Sara. The team that had been sent to Tim's apartment was now enroute to another location, due to a phoned in tip providing new information as to where Martin Anderson was supposedly hiding out. For all of 45 minutes, Tim's apartment building was unsecured.

That's all the time it took. The neighbors saw nothing. In fact, they didn't even hear anything. Until some forty-five minutes after Fornell's agents left, when the screaming was heard for all of two minutes, then there was silence. Eerie, bone-chilling, silence.

Mrs. Johnson called Gibbs immediately. Gibbs in turn, told her to stay in her own apartment and to stay away from the windows and doors. He promised he'd have law enforcement there as quickly as possible. Sure enough, not 10 minutes later, Silver Springs PD arrived, armed and ready to take whoever was up in Tim's apartment into custody.

As Gibbs, Tony and Ziva raced to Tim's apartment, the PD took up both entries and made their way into the apartment. What they found brought them to a complete and utter standstill.

Thankfully, NCIS was enroute as was the FBI and this police department would be more than happy to hand this one over to them. Slowly and methodically, the officers retraced their steps as they backed out the way they came and waited for the other agencies to arrive.

They would need to be warned.


	14. What Happened?

_Thankfully, NCIS was enroute as was the FBI.  
They would need to be warned._

Tim McGee didn't understand why he was being pulled over just two hours outside his apartment. He hadn't been speeding or using his cell phone while he'd been driving. In truth, he hadn't been doing anything wrong. Although the helicopter flying around above his head periodically for the last half hour had been starting to creep him out, he hadn't really worried too much about it, until now.

As the State Trooper walked up to his window, Tim waited to be spoken to. Expecting to hear the normal spiel requesting his driver's license and registration, he was thrown for a loop when the words out of the guy's mouth were nothing like that.

"NCIS Special Agent Tim McGee?" came the question.

"Yes, Sir." Tim answered automatically.

"I need to see your id, please, Sir." the unexpected address of respect had a red flag going up for Tim. They already knew who he was, and for all he knew, that chopper had been keeping tabs on him, after all. What the hell was going on?

After the State Trooper checked his id, he told Tim he'd be right back and headed back to his patrol car. Sure enough, in the space of a mere minute, the cop was back.

"Agent McGee, we've been asked to locate you and to tell you that you are urgently needed back at NCIS. We're here to give you a police escort so you can get back without delays."

You could have knocked Tim over with a feather, his shock was so great.

"Sir? Are you okay? Can you drive?" the state trooper was becoming concerned at the state of shock that seemed to permeate from the Agent he'd been instructed to turn back to D.C.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Officer. I'll be fine. I'm sorry, you just startled me." Tim said, deciding to keep it at that. As he buckled back up and got ready to head back home with his police escort, he hit the speaker on his phone as well as the speed dial.

"Yeah. Gibbs." Gibbs had answered his phone without looking at the id. He was still trying to stomach the scene he was heartbreakingly trying to process. _How in the hell was he supposed to break this to his agent?_

_"Boss?"_ Tim's concerned voice reached through the phone and grabbed Gibbs by the throat.

_"_McGee."Where are you?" Gibbs managed to keep his voice steady but was unable to mask his concern, now deepened with the horrible tragedy in front of him that would forever tear the young man's life apart. Tim, who had already buried his parents after living through a week of desperately trying to find his missing sister, would now have to endure the worst outcome possible of this same case that had taken his parents from him. Tim, who was unaware and didn't need to hear about it over the phone, but deserved to know sooner than later, sounded scared already. _The State Troopers must have found him._

"_Getting a police escort back home. I'm two hours out. Boss, what's going on?"_ Tim's voice was climbing as the unknown began to mix with worst case scenario ideas began to fill his mind.

"McGee. Listen to me. You've got to concentrate on driving. Call me when you get on the Yard, okay?" Gibbs instructed, refusing to give the man any reason to not be able to focus on his driving. The overwhelming desire to not make him wait for this news was gone, lost in the wake of the need for the guy to get back there safely.

_"Yeah. Okay."_ Tim answered with resignation. He knew that Gibbs was right about concentrating on the road, but he also could tell by Gibbs' voice, that something was really wrong and he couldn't help but push his luck, needing to know something. _"Boss, just tell me, please. Is it Sarah?"_

"McGee. Just get here, all right?" Gibbs quietly requested.

_"Ok."_ Tim agreed with no further argument. That tone and the wording coming from Gibbs had said it all. Whatever it was, was bad, really bad and it had to be Sara. She was the only one he had left that would affect him in such a way that Gibbs wouldn't tell him anything over the phone. Unless, oh, no, was it Abby?

Tim forced himself to stop the jumping to conclusions and the focusing on what it could be, and refocused on the need to get back there safely. As he turned the car around and fell in with his racing police escort, Tim silently prayed it wasn't as bad as the picture was beginning to look like it had to be.

*****NCIS***  
**

The team sat in the conference room, one floor above their own squad room, each one of them intensely saddened and horrified at the devastating turn of events some of them have had to witness in person and some only able to process from afar. As each one of them sat lost in their own maze of sorrow and sympathy for their fellow teammate who would be affected the most, one who was still unaware of what had happened, the door opened presenting the agent at the forefront of everyone's mind, to a room full of very somber people.

_It is Sara! She's dead, she has to be for them to be looking this way!_ Was his first thought. _Oh,God! Sara! What happened to Sara? It was because he was selfish and left her unprotected just so he could get away from it all for a while, wasn't it? Oh, NO!_

As the pieces fell into place in his mind, he bolted from the room, heading for the bathroom as his stomach revolted from the truth that was hitting him silently right between the eyes. After he'd washed his face, he stood leaning against the sink, unwilling to move. He wasn't ready for this, didn't want to have to feel the ocean of pain he knew was waiting for him outside this room.

"Tim." Gibbs quiet, concerned voice came from the door.

As Tim's eyes sought out those of his boss, he couldn't miss the sorrow looking back at him, even though he'd spent years trying to figure out how to read the man.

"Sara's dead. That why I needed to get back here with a police escort?" Tim asked in a voice that was steadily breaking and weakening.

"I'm so sorry, Tim." Gibbs offered as he stepped up to his agent and offered a supportive hand to his shoulder and squeezed in an attempt to comfort.

Tim nodded at him, his voice failing him as he fought valiantly to keep the tears at bay. Tim had been so mean to her, refusing to talk to her about what had happened to their parents because she'd indirectly set off the devastating domino effect that had quickly torn his world apart.

"What happened?" Tim managed to ask quietly.

"Anderson escaped. He went to Waverly. Sara called me because she thought she was being followed, said she was in the Campus Security office. I told her to stay there until Tony got there. As fast as he got there, Tim, Anderson already had taken her. Try as hard as we could, we weren't able to catch up with him until it was too late." Gibbs told him. His tone left no doubt he felt responsible and horrible about this.

"Boss. Please, don't do this. I can't handle you taking the blame for this. I'm the one who treated her like crap, refused to talk to her about all of this. That's why she stayed on campus most of the time. We weren't talking much. All I was doing was pushing her to not miss any of her appointments with her shrink so I wouldn't have to hear anything she needed to talk about. You wanna blame someone for this, the buck stops here." Tim said with overwhelming self hatred radiating off of him.

Gibbs refused to have this discussion. He knew it would be futile to even attempt to scale that wall of self appointed blame Tim had obviously erected.

"She's downstairs, Tim, if you need to say goodbye." Gibbs offered quietly instead, still keeping his anchoring hand on Tim's shoulder.

Tim struggled to bite back a sob. His shoulders began to shake as the sobs suddenly refused to be held in any longer. He stepped sideways to the wall with Gibbs staying with him to steady him, and slid down to the floor, the wall holding him up as he went. Putting his head down on his chest, he allowed his grief and guilt out through the sobs and steady river of tears.


	15. Painful Awareness

The first four days following Sarah's murder passed in a haze.. The motions he'd gone through were just that, motions, mindless and unrecognizable. He didn't even remember somehow getting up off the bathroom floor that first day. He wasn't aware that Gibbs had made a phone call, requesting Tony's assistance in helping Tim get down to Autopsy so he could say goodbye to his sister. Saying goodbye, something else he didn't remember doing. Had he said it right? Had he said it with love? Had he gotten sick all over Ducky's shoes again? Tim could not remember. He couldn't recall even talking to the Director or Ziva or even Abby. Even anything he might have said to Gibbs or Tony or poor Ducky or Jimmy didn't register in his memory banks. How had he gotten out to the car that first night? Who had driven him and where had they taken him? Had he slept? As exhausted as he felt at this first moment of conscience processing thought, he doubted he'd slept at all in the last week.

Unbeknown to him, his surrogate family had never left him. They knew he was floundering through a horrible time and so he was never alone for more than a short, minute. It didn't take a genius to see that Tim wasn't functioning, except on autopilot, someone who needed to be taken care of and protected. Someone on the team was always with him. They all stepped up to the plate and refused to let him struggle with anything.

They kept him fed, rested and never alone for more than a minute as Gibbs kept him at his house where he didn't have to do anything but make it through minute by minute. All of his team members had argued for the right to take him home with them, but Gibbs and Ducky had firmly put their feet down. Tim needed stability and routine, not changing locations, climbing different stairs, different sleeping arrangements every night or being driven for different rides.. He wasn't speaking or showing any emotion and they didn't push. It was as if a giant wall had gone up around him. They knew it would be impossible to expect more from him, at least until he'd made it through Sarah's funeral. Tim's eyes had gone haunted and grey. It was tragedy live and unscripted and it broke everyone's heart.

The last thing Tim remembered, now that he was no longer numb or in a fog, was falling apart in the men's room at NCIS with Gibbs watching over him Tim had vague remnants of memories of the team being with him as he took the podium in a church. Gibbs and Tony standing with him, shoulder to shoulder, holding on to him and holding him up as he somehow managed to say his final goodbyes to his little sister, He couldn't tell anyone how it was he'd gotten there. Hell, Tim couldn't even remember how Sarah had gotten to her final resting place beside his parents. Even the traveling to and from her funeral was a blank to the young man.

Now, here it was the day after Sarah had been laid to rest, the fifth since her life had been so brutally taken, and Tim felt so lost and alone he had no idea what to do or say. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, he noticed it was 5:00 AM. He couldn't even bring himself to get out of bed. It hurt to think, what little he could remember from the last few days hurt to process. Forcing himself not to think further back than the last few days, didn't help either. Although it did give him pause to consider a few more missing tidbits of memory. He was suddenly cognitive of the fact that he hadn't been back to his apartment since the day he'd written the note to Sarah, boarded the dog, and headed to his grandmothers' seaside cottage to get away from it all.

That meant, he'd been staying with someone. Who? Looking around in the almost pitch dark room, Tim reasoned out, by the furniture and the fact that it was a house, that he was in Gibbs' house and probably in his bed. Gibbs had probably delegated himself to his own guest room. Where normally, this realization would have made Tim uncomfortable, now it just seemed to wrap him in a blanket of comfort and security. But, as the ability to think and feel returned to his brain, it left him not knowing what to do or say or even begin to think. How does a person pick up the pieces when their lives are shattered in such a way? What's left to live for when the people who have loved you and protected you, looked out for you and been there for you, for your entire life, are snatched away painfully, brutally and senselessly?

As the tears slid down his face, he curled into a ball, miserable from the inside out and lost almost beyond reach, as the tears began to open the door for the grief he'd put aside while trying to be the big brother in the midst of it all. That role was gone, now. He no longer had anyone to be a big brother to. He wasn't even anyone's son, anymore. The more thoughts that came back to him, the harder the tears fell and the more pain he felt creeping up from the depths of his heart. It wasn't long before he was openly sobbing uncontrollably, lost in the storm of it all.

A few short seconds later, he was no longer alone. Suddenly, his curled body was gathered up, wrapped up in and supported by two strong anchors that now held him tight, rocked him gently and refused to let him flounder through it alone. No words were spoken. The human anchor that had just claimed him, knew that now was not the time for words. Tim's tears needed to flow, his grief needed to be let out. It was the only way he could move on from here, the only hope he had of surviving.


	16. Numbness Unscripted

As Gibbs continued to hold onto and rock his grieving agent through the monster of all emotional storms, he sent up a silent prayer of thanks that Tim had indeed finally come back from his state of numb unawareness; even though Gibbs had a real good idea of just how much emotional pain the young man was currently buried under. Having been here once or twice, himself, the older man had known what was coming and had been better prepared for it than the rest of Tim's team. He'd kept a sharp eye on the progression of Tim's mental state in the last four days; his own experience lending it's aide to being able to handle it in a way that didn't make things worse for the young man. Now, he simply held on to him and let him cry it out; as much of it as he needed to and even as much as he wanted to. There were no expectations here; only hope. Hope that the last four days had done the young man some good. Being cognitive and openly grieving now, was a good sign. The last four days had been a bumpy emotional roller coaster for them all and Gibbs could only feel relieved that Tim had made it through them as well as he had. The journey had even brought Gibbs' to tears:

_Four Days Ago:_

Gibbs crouched down next to Tim, lost in grief; a hand on the young man's shoulder to keep him reminded through his grief, that he wasn't alone. He dug out his phone with his other hand and called Tony.

"Tony, get over to the men's head. We need to get Tim outta here and down to Ducky."

"On it, Boss." Tony's voice was quiet but full of promise.

When the former Senior Field Agent arrived to the sight of his Probie sitting on the floor awash in grief; Tony's own emotions played out across his face; his heart breaking for his little brother. Having seen this man's little sister, after that monster had killed her, in her brother's living room, only heightened Tony's anger, sadness and grief for this young man in front of him; a man obviously in need of the support of every one of the people who cared about him and loved him.

Pulling out his phone, he looked steadily at Gibbs as he made a call, going on his own judgment of what Tim needed; hoping against hope that Gibbs would understand and not fight him on it.

"Ziva, need you and Abby to meet us outside Autopsy. Let Ducky know we're comin." Tony quietly requested of his teammate. He'd seen the state the normally stoic and unflappable Israeli had been in and knew she needed something to do besides dwell on her own emotions here; as did Abby. The only thing that had kept Abby from being hysterically upset was the constant reminder from the rest of them that Tim absolutely did not need to see her like that.

Gibbs nodded with understanding and something akin to appreciation and admiration in his eyes for a split second before those eyes of him once again turned sorrow filled and angry for his distraught younger agent. Together, he and Tony silently helped Tim to his feet, when the man's sobs finally stopped. As Tony held him steady alongside Gibbs, Gibbs had stopped their progress long enough to wipe Tim's face so the young man could see clearly, even as his tears still fell.

As they slowly made their way out of the restroom to the back elevator, not much was said, with the exception of a soothing word of going to say goodbye to Sara along with comforting words to remind Tim that he wasn't alone. Neither Tony nor Gibbs had anything else to say; their only focus was on getting Tim through this; step by painfully slow step.

When the elevator opened on Ducky's level, they were met by Ziva and Abby, as Tony had requested. There, Tony and Gibbs allowed the women to administer their hugs and words of comfort to Tim, even if they could see he wasn't hearing any of it. His body posture wasn't exactly fighting the attempts to comfort him; although his mind was clearly closed off. Neither Ziva nor Abby were put off by this. In fact, it only spurred their need to comfort him more.

Gibbs gave them only a minute or two, after all, Tim still needed to get through the worst part; saying good bye to his sister. With a look, he bid the women stay by the elevators as he and Tony walked Tim in to see Ducky. After safely delivering the young man into Ducky's capable hands, the two former senior agents, stepped back enough to give Tim whatever time he needed to say his goodbye. Palmer, too, retreated back out to the elevators to respect Tim's need for privacy at this time. It hadn't taken Ducky long to realize Timothy wasn't processing what was going on; that his mind had retreated from the shock.

With this understanding in place, Ducky proceeded with caution and the gentleness born of years of experience in dealing with those in the midst of such devastating grief as this. Slowly, patiently and persistently, Ducky talked to Timothy, even managing to draw enough responses from him; so that the M.E. felt the young man was actually alert to the fact that he was indeed standing in front of his dearly departed little sister.

Tim finally seemed to become aware; just enough to focus on Sara's face, the tears that had already coursing down his face before he arrived in Autopsy, now ran their course faster and his shoulders soon started shaking with the sobs that came up from within him. Ducky simply put a hand on the young man's shoulder and made sure there was enough pressure there for Timothy to know he wasn't alone. Had the M.E. been tall enough, he would have wrapped the young man in something akin to an understanding embrace of sympathy. Tony and Gibbs, in tandem, stepped up so he would know just how not alone he really was. With Tony on the opposite side of him as Ducky presently stood, Gibbs stepped up behind Ducky. Between the three of them, no doubt was left even in the crevices of Tim's fog covered mind, that they were there for him.

No one rushed him. Tim was given as much time as he needed and the rest of the team silently, patiently, sadly and united in pain for him, waited by the elevators, ready to be there with him and for him when he needed them. No one kept tabs on how long Tim spent in Autopsy that evening. Truth be told, they didn't care that it had been well over an hour. What they did care about, was when Tim finally did come back out, under Ducky's guiding hand, with Gibbs and Tony following right behind him; he was still not with them, his mind had once again retreated from the horror and shock of this final devastating trauma thrown at him.

"You guys go on; take him back upstairs, get ready to go. I'll be up as soon as I talk to Ducky. I know you all wanna help, He's comin' home with me. You wanna help, meet us there. You can help me clear out the guest room; get dinner; get him his clothes and personal stuff from his house." Gibbs threw out there. Looking square at Tony, he gave him a direct order.

"Take care of his car."

Tony nodded but then realized, Tim in all probability, still had his keys on him, since he'd driven himself back to the Navy Yard.

"Gonna need his keys." Tony reminded Gibbs quietly.

"Right." Gibbs said as he turned to Tim, speaking quietly to him: "McGee. Tony's gonna put your car away safe and sound for you, so you don't have to worry about driving right now, okay? Let me have your keys."

Tim almost robotically reached into his inside jacket pocket and retrieved his keys; handing them to Gibbs without even looking at him. The younger man's eyes had been on the floor since he'd come out of Autopsy.

"Okay. Good. Now, I need you to go up to your desk and sit. Wait for me. I'll be up there in just a few minutes and then we'll go home, all right?" Gibbs kept the tone and volume steady since it had worked on the young man. As he issued this request, Gibbs gently propelled Tim into the elevator, knowing his team would join them. Once the others got on the elevator, Gibbs let go of Tim; and watched as Tim immediately tensed up, apparently reacting to not being physically grounded to someone. Abby and Ziva both quickly attached themselves to him, reassuring him he wasn't alone. The tenseness left Tim and Gibbs was able to step off the elevator and go back to Autopsy.

Silently and in unity, the team nodded and proceeded to do as Gibbs suggested and requested. As they got Tim seated in his chair, still maintaining physical contact, the silence grew thick with emotional overload. Tony wanted to head out, to get the things done that Gibbs had reminded them needed to be done; but he was unwilling to leave in case Tim suddenly came back to awareness and flipped out or something. Tony had no experience in helping someone going through this kind of grief; but, he wasn't willing to leave anything up to chance.

The Director's arrival down in the squad room jolted Tony's thoughts. Her being down here wasn't exactly welcome from a professional standpoint, since they had all quit or in Tim's case, been unjustly fired. But from a personal standpoint, they needed all the reinforcements they could get if she was genuinely concerned for Tim. They needed to get going soon, if they were gonna get everything done for Tim and Gibbs that they needed to.

"Tony. What's going on?" Jenny asked as she stopped at the former Senior Field Agent's desk.

"Tim's in shock, Director. We just came from Autopsy where he had to say goodbye to his little sister. We're leaving as soon as Gibbs gets done talking to Ducky." Tony's tone spoke volumes of his desire to vacate the building as soon as possible. No one had told Tim what had taken place after the grieving man had been so carelessly and unceremoniously fired earlier in the day. Now, certainly wasn't the time for him to hear about it. And Tony was willing to stick his neck out to make sure Tim didn't get told about it. Then again, he'd already quit, so he wasn't really risking anything to begin with. Turning so his back was to Tim and the girls, he whispered to the Director.

"He doesn't know anything about what happened after you fired him. It needs to stay that way until Gibbs decides otherwise, Director!"

"And whose decision was that, Tony?" Jenny asked both in shock and in anger. Tony almost never talked to her like that. How dare he talk to her like that!

"The team that cares about him. That's who made the decision, Director. If you have an ounce of decency left in you; you will not say anything to him about it right now. I repeat. He's in shock. He's barely cognitive of anything going on around him right now.

Tony had lost the ability to hold his tongue when the very possibility of Jenny spilling the beans to Tim just to flaunt her power of position riled him beyond reason and on into recklessness

"You wanna be the one to push him over the edge? You really wanna have to answer to Gibbs when you do? You wanna even be on the same planet as Gibbs if you do it? I don't think so!"

Once the words were out, Tony had no regret. In fact, he felt better. Maybe now, she'd realize just how much she'd screwed the pooch about this whole nightmare. It didn't mean she could fix any of it. But, at least she could see firsthand what she had messed with.

Jenny quit the fight. She knew a protective clan that would fight to the death over one of their own, when she saw one and she'd already known that about this team to begin with. Still, it was extremely unnerving to see Tim McGee in this state of shock. She hadn't known that he hadn't been told about what his team had done after she'd fired him earlier in the day. It was a good thing that Tony saw fit to let her know before she had inadvertently added more to the problem.

Looking at the young people in front of her; all of them consumed with concern for one of their own; she felt an overwhelming sense of respect for their unity; jealousness for Gibbs' loyalty and protection of them; and panic, that once they left here tonight; she will have almost single-handedly lost the best team of field agents the agency had ever'd regretted having to fire Tim; it hadn't been her choice to begin with. Still, she hadn't put up much of a fight; her fear of losing her own job had pretty much captained her steps in that battle.

Focus, Right now the focus needed to be on Tim's mental state. There was still his sister's funeral to plan, make arrangements for, get to and get him through. Jenny; having years of experience with this through the unfortunate deaths of agents in the Agency, knew she was best suited to handle this for the young man; for the team. With that out of the way; they could focus on taking care of Tim.

"I'll take care of Sara's funeral arrangements. I'll set up the travel arrangements for her funeral, too. You guys just focus on Tim." Jenny sincerely offered. "Whatever you need to do, do it."

"I need a third party to stay here with him, just in case..." Tony explained. "He seems to stress out when he can't feel someone attached to him at the moment."

"I'll stay here. You go do whatever it is you need to do." Jenny promised.

"I have to put his car somewhere." Tony told her, hoping she'd take on the brunt of whatever she could for Tim. It was the least she could do.

"Evidence Lock-up. Vehicle storage. Safest place for it." Jenny quickly reminded him.

"He doesn't work here anymore why would he want his car here?" Tony asked. "He wouldn't even be allowed to come back here and get it."

"Why don't you take it to Gibbs' for now? He's got the garage." Abby suggested even as she continued to hold onto and keep her eyes on Tim. Her one hand holding one of his; and her other hand on his arm. Ziva, hadn't let go of Tim either, but had turned her head to watch the exchange between Tony and Jenny.

"I'll ask. If he's still got his truck, he may not have room for it." Tony answered her. Digging out his phone, he called the boss.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Boss, you got room in your garage for Tim's car?" Tony got straight to the point.

"Yeah, Tony. Good idea."

"Abby's actually. Okay, I'm heading over there with it. I'll grab dinner for everyone, too." Tony explained.

"Who's with Tim?"

"Abby, Ziva and Jenny. I'm taking Ziva with me. We can run up to Tim's apartment and get him some clothes and things, while we're at it."

"Tony."

"Boss?"

"You're not driving his car all the way up to his apartment and back. Besides, you won't be able to fit very much in it." Gibbs both directed and reminded the other man.

"Right. That's why Ziva's gonna follow me in an agency car." Tony answered while looking Jenny square on; daring her to deny him the right to do it.

"Tony, we don't work for the agency anymore. Remember?" Gibbs reminded him.

Jenny, having heard Gibbs' words through the phone, motioned for Tony to let her talk to the man on the other end. Tony did as she silently requested, happy to let her help where she could She owed them that much.

"Jethro, Tony's right. He can take an agency sedan for this. It's the least the Agency can do."

"You've got that right, Jen." Gibbs said with anger climbing back into his voice. He still couldn't speak to her without being thoroughly pissed at her.

"I'll stay with Tim and Abby." She kindly offered.

"I'll be up there shortly." Gibbs answered partly in warning; partly in promise to not be long.

Tony and Ziva had departed once Ziva had whispered her intentions to get some things done for Tim, in the unfocused former agent's ear. Abby squeezed her hands to reinforce the fact that she was here for him. Jenny now joined her in their endeavor to keep Tim grounded as much as they could.

Gibbs had indeed returned to the squad room shortly after Tony and Ziva had left. When he arrived at his former desk, he was shocked to find Jenny helping Abby keep Tim grounded in physical contact. Without a word to his former boss, Gibbs spoke to Tim, knowing Abby would fall in line with whatever he said. At this point, he didn't care what Jenny's reaction was, so long as she stayed out of his way.

"Okay. Tim. It's time to go home. You're gonna be stayin with me for a couple of days, all right?" Again, he kept his tone at the same level and volume that had worked on Tim before.

And once again, Tim followed Gibbs' quiet direction, seemingly on autopilot, with his eyes still locked on the floor. Jenny let go of him, repeated her intention of taking care of everything regarding Sara's funeral, and went back to her office. Gibbs and Abby silently walked Tim out to Gibbs' car. Abby gladly got in the back with Tim, keeping her hands on him as her eyes begged Gibbs to take it easy on his driving.

The quick trip to Gibbs' house did take longer than normal that night because Gibbs did take it easy on his driving. Being able to look at Tim in the rearview mirror; see the vacancy in his eyes, as well as the sorrow in Abby's, kept his heart in almost in his throat and his mind focused on taking care of his family members. When they arrived, Gibbs led Tim to his bedroom. Abby's eyebrows shot up in her own silent question of Gibbs giving up his own bedroom for a guest, but Gibbs shook his head, not wanting unnecessary conversation. As he gently propelled Tim to sit down on the bed, he gestured for Abby to stay with the young man while Gibbs headed back down to the kitchen, knowing, in all probability that Tim hadn't eaten anything all day. Rummaging through his food supply, Gibbs turned at the sound of Ducky arriving in his kitchen.

"Just gettin' him something to eat, Duck. Needs to be something small and easy. You'll probably have to be the one to get him to eat it though."

"I've already got it taken care of, Jethro. Holding out a can of what looked to be a supplemental shake; Ducky shook it and turned to go upstairs with Gibbs right behind him.

Sure enough, only Ducky was able to convince the barely functioning man to drink the shake, and only with the aid of a straw. Once he'd done that much, Gibbs left Tim in Ducky and Abby's capable hands and headed to the guest room; needing to clear it out enough so he could sleep in it. There was no way he was gonna make Tim sleep in this much smaller bed and all this junk filling this room. He wanted Tim to just relax and sleep, not stress out and wonder what he might have to bump into in the middle of the night.

Soon enough, Ducky returned to the kitchen, where Gibbs had already come back to; started both coffee and a kettle of hot water for Ducky's tea. Tony and Ziva arrived with dinner and a few duffle bags of things from Tim's apartment. Ziva took a couple of cartons of Chinese up to Gibbs' room so she and Abby could eat and keep Tim company.

Having gotten Timothy to get the shake down, Ducky had proceeded to give the young man something to help him sleep. It had taken a stressful thirty minutes before Tim had succumbed to the sleep-aide. The stress had been coming from Tim's continued withdrawn state. Ducky had never seen this young man so still and so not in the here and now. It was truly leaving the M.E. a little shaken.

Now that Tim was sleeping peacefully, a fact that had been verified by Ducky; who also promised the young man would be able to sleep through the night now; Abby and Ziva were able to return to the kitchen and join the others. Silently and with purpose to her movements, Abby went digging through the bags that Ziva and Tony had come in with; coming out with what appeared to be a high-tech baby monitor. In the space of a couple of minutes, it was set up with the receiving end plugged up in the kitchen, Surprisingly enough, this model was a video monitor as well as sound. They could all see Tim asleep on the boss' bed. Thankfully, he was peacefully slumbering, with no signs of stress or trauma.

"Great idea, Abby." Gibbs praised. "Thanks for your help, all of you. I know you know that the next week is gonna be really tough, especially for Tim. So, brace yourselves. Be prepared to put Tim first no matter what, especially while he's still in the state he was in tonight.

"So, how long do we have to keep all this stuff from him?" Abby asked, worried about being able to keep Tim in the dark, They all knew how much he hated to be the last one to know about what happened, especially in his own family's case.

"That's Ducky's call." Gibbs told them.

"Timothy's current mental state leaves no room for any more stress, as I'm sure you are all well aware. We will have to take it one day at a time. I suggest that for the time being, we focus only on getting him through his sister's funeral and the trip back home." the M.E. urged.

"What about his apartment?" Ziva asked.

"Cleanup crew done with it, Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"No. They'll be done by this time tomorrow. We'll need to keep him away for at least another 48 to clear out the..." Tony couldn't finish. He and Ziva had almost lost their stomach's, having to walk back in to the room where Sara McGee had been so brutally killed in what had been an obvious act of retaliation and raging anger.

Gibbs and Ducky exchanged looks, both of them sharing in the silent grief that Sara McGee had met with a fate worse than any man's worst nightmare for a sister; before she'd been killed. The two older men would forever keep that fact to themselves as it would serve no purpose to inflict that knowledge on any of the team. They would all only feel that much worse; effectively spreading that to Tim; and he would only have that much more trouble recovering from this tragedy.

Tony, Ziva and even Abby knew what that look between the two older men meant. Not only did they know what the look meant, they knew criminal patterns. All of them knew that Anderson had been an angry, bitter man before he'd been caught. Escaping and single-mindedly going after Sara, of course, meant that he was out to exact his revenge on her. It was a very safe bet, that she'd been raped before he'd killed her. Ducky had refused to share those details; out of respect for Timothy.

"Don't worry, Boss. He won't find out from us." Tony promised, reading the worry in both Gibbs' and Ducky's eyes.

Gibbs silently nodded his approval and acceptance of Tony's admission and promise. Feeling his own emotions slipping free of his control, Gibbs made his escape, heading to his bedroom to physically check on his sleeping agent.

Sitting on the bed, watching the young man sleep, finally free of his emotional pain, at least while safely ensconced in slumber; Gibbs relaxed in the knowledge that Ducky would undoubtedly keep the others downstairs until Gibbs returned. Silently, he set the baby monitor inside the dresser drawer for the time being and reached out to check Tim's pulse. Finding that Tim was indeed, fine and his sleep was peaceful, gave Gibbs a dose of relief he desperately needed.

As he sat keeping watch over his younger son, with a hand offering comfort planted on Tim's arm, Gibbs allowed his control to slip some more. A piece of himself came out of hiding, the pain of his own family's tragedy compounding with that of Tim's family's deaths.

Silently, the tears began to fall.


	17. Signs of Progress

_Three Days Ago_

Ducky; having managed to keep the team at bay while Gibbs sat with Timothy the previous afternoon; was also successful in eventually sending Abby home with Ziva and getting Tony to camp out in the living room. Camped out in Jethro's guest room at Jethro's insistance, as the former Agent once again sat with Tim; Ducky found himself waking early the next morning. He was the first to awaken as the quietness of the house told him. As he silently headed down stairs, he was pleasantly surprised to find neither of them yet stirring. Where Anthony had crashed on the living room floor; Jethro had obviously eventually taken the couch. and both were still peacefully sleeping. The baby monitor was plugged in at the older man's head, so any sound from Timothy would obviously get Jethro's' attention.

Heading back upstairs, Ducky went into the master bedroom to check on Timothy. To his dismay; the young man was awake; but again, not focused or seeing anything or anyone. Ducky tried to talk to him anyway.

"Timothy, if you can hear me, I need you to squeeze my hand, all right?" Ducky implored, as he sat down next to the young man's prone figure; placing one hand on the man's arm and taking one of Tim's hands in his other hand; waiting for a response.

Tim reacted as Ducky had asked, nothing more. Ducky would take what he could get. "That's it. Nice to see you're still with us, my dear boy. I know this is very difficult for you, but we are all here for you. Do not think you are alone." Ducky quietly soothed.

"Duck? He okay?" Jethro's concerned voice; still gruff from sleep; came from the doorway.

"Yes, Jethro. He's as well as we can expect him to be in these circumstances." Ducky reasoned quietly.

"Okay. I'll get him something to eat. Stay with him, will ya?" Gibbs asked as he turned and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

The rest of the morning and even the afternoon passed mundanely with someone almost always sitting with Tim as he either slept or ate and pitching in to keep him fed and resting. During the times when Tim was neither sleeping nor eating; just laying there, lost and alone, hiding from the world, it was discovered that only Gibbs or Ducky could handle sitting with him then. The others got too upset, couldn't deal with not having him connect with the here and now. After they had each attempted to sit with him at a time when he was in that state; Gibbs or Ducky would hear their voices getting louder, floating down the stairs, as the desperation to reach Tim would become more obvious in their voices. It would invariably draw Gibbs or Ducky up to the room as they strove to stem the tide of stress building in the room. After each of them had made such an attempt; it became an unspoken law that any such episodes were to be handled solely by Ducky or Gibbs. The others would handle everything else.

Tim made no effort, whatsoever, to get out of the bed. Gibbs wasn't happy about that any more than he was with Tim not being able to reconnect. But he did understand it and wanted to push him through it; even if it meant just getting him out of bed. But Ducky stressed not stressing Timothy out. Forcing him to do something he didn't have any inclination to do for himself at the moment, would probably not be in Timothy's best interests. His rest was most important. Shock was hard enough on the body without adding sleep deprivation to the mix.

When not taking care of Tim; the rest of them relaxed in whatever fashion that worked for them. Ziva went running in her free time; Gibbs went back to his boat; Ducky took a nap in Gibbs' guest room; and Tony and Abby watched movies.

"Boss, Jenny's here." Tony's words full of unmasked anger came up the stairs at Gibbs late in the day. Hearing them did nothing to make him feel less worried about his agent. He'd just come up here to sit with Tim for his hour. The solitude that it gave him actually helped him bolster his control on his own emotions through this whole mess. Luckily, Tim had just gone back to sleep a few minutes ago and Tony's words of warning did not disturb him.

"Director Shepard" Gibbs greeted her with his own steel laced anger, as he reached her, standing in his kitchen. Hell would freeze over before he'd stop being angry at her for firing Tim. He didn't' give a rat's ass; what her reasons were or how backed into a corner she felt. She'd sacrificed Tim in the midst of the worst tragedy of that young man's life; stripped him of the job he'd busted his ass to earn; and loved doing. It was inexcusable and unforgivable and only her willingness to take care of the funeral arrangements was stopping Gibbs from booting her off his property.

"Gibbs." Jenny gave back just as formally. She couldn't call him anything personal right now. He was way too pissed at her for that. She couldn't call him Agent Gibbs; after all, he had quit. "I just came to update you on the funeral arrangements and travel plans."

"Cynthia could have made that call for you." Gibbs reminded her with a tone that said he would have preferred it that way.

Quickly, Jenny outlined the arrangements she'd set up for the team. Just as quickly, she requested to see Tim. Immediately, she found a solid wall of bodies blocking the doorway.

**"No!"** Abby's answer was instant and full of passion; passion borne of anger at the unjustness this woman had inflicted on her best friend.

**"No Way!"** Tony's response was just as quick and just as angry; though less restrained.

**"Not a good idea."** Ziva replied, angrily yet with practicality.

"He's sleeping." Ducky responded, neither lightning fast nor with any malice or anger. Rather, the M.E.'s tone was no-nonsense. No one was disturbing Timothy while he slept. The young man still had his sister's funeral to get through and no one was going to make anything difficult for him so long as the M.E. had anything to say about it.

"Not gonna happen." Gibbs' response was both slower than the others and deadly serious. Ducky was right. No one was disturbing Tim.

"I'm not going to wake him up. I just want to see that he's okay." Jenny explained with frustration.

**"Okay? You think he's okay?"** Tony sputtered in outraged anger.

Abby also tried to make her disbelief known.

Ziva took a visable step backwards with fire in her eyes; an obvious attempt to distance herself before she did something she'd regret.

Gibbs sent Tony a look; silently ordering him to tone it down and not let this get away from him. Tony nodded and turned away; walking out of the room; too angry to be able to keep his mouth shut if he stayed in the same room with Jenny right now. Quickly, he headed upstairs to check on Tim and take his turn at sitting with him. Let her try to get through him!

Sending Abby and Ziva both calming glances, Gibbs turned on Jenny.

"Why? Seems pretty damn hypocritical of you to worry about him now, Jen. I mean you did fire him as soon as his sister was found; the first time. Didn't care about him when SecNav said jump. Why the sudden concern about him now?" Gibbs asked what he knew they all wanted to hear the answers to.

"Jethro, I told you, I did not want to fire him. I had no choice!" Jenny exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down!" Gibbs hissed as he quickly propelled her further away from the stairs that led to the upstairs. Making his mind up; he propelled her right back out the door she'd come through. Standing out by the cars, by the time Gibbs had finished moving.

"Why the sudden concern?" Gibbs repeated the question firmly.

"Jethro, do you really think I stop caring about our agents the minute they no longer work for us?" Jenny asked in disbelief.

"Jen, who are you calling your agents?" Gibbs asked amidst his own disbelief.

Jenny dropped the subject, reminded Gibbs that the funeral would be the day after tomorrow. and the team would need to be on the plane by 9 am sharp; and left.

The rest of the afternoon and evening had passed uneventfully. Gibbs invited them all to stay again for the night if they wanted to. Truth be told, all of them pitching in like they had been, would be the best way for all of them to stay rested while taking turns getting things done.

All of them crashed at Gibbs' that night; and every one of them slept through the night, including Tim, who'd been given just a little help with that endeavor, by Ducky. It hadn't taken much; the lethargy was getting pretty serious for the young man. Jethro was right, they would have to start working on getting Timothy up and about tomorrow, now that he'd had a day to rest.

* * *

_Two days ago_

With everyone rested after a good night's sleep, the team was given the next morning off. Gibbs told them to enjoy their day off. Without taking no for an answer; the boss had reminded them that he and Ducky were perfectly capable of taking care of Tim while Tony, Ziva and Abby went out and enjoyed the day as best they could under the circumstances. The three of them quickly made their exit after making sure they each told Tim they would be back.

After the others had left, the two older men proceeded to get Tim up and showered; not wanting the young man embarrassed by having any of his teammates handle that for him. Luckily, he'd once again did whatever they'd told him to; still on autopilot. They hadn't had to do as much for him as they'd feared. Leaving him alone and trusting him to get undressed and into the shower on his own, had been the biggest test of their belief he was with it enough to do everything he was told. He'd done it with little problem; proving to them that he was more alert than they'd believed.

. Once Tim had showered and gotten dressed in clean clothes; Ducky had helped downstairs into the kitchen while Gibbs changed the bed and tidied up the bathroom and bedroom. Unwilling to have him fully retreat behind the fog he was in, they'd stayed away from trying to talk to him about anything. As the morning wore on, they still kept things simple.

When the team returned in time for lunch; needing to check in on Tim; they were shocked to find him not only up out of bed; but showered, in clean clothes and eating a decent lunch without someone standing over his shoulder. Ducky was monitoring him from across the table. As the team stood in the doorway of the kitchen, Gibbs came down the stairs and got their attention; drawing them back into the hallway and into the living room.

"What are you doing back here? You were told to take the day off, not just the morning." Gibbs said in frustration.

"Boss, we just wanted to check on him." Tony said, expecting Gibbs to understand. Ziva and Abby stood silently, ready for the fallout but hoping there'd be none.

"DiNozzo. He's okay. As okay as he can be right now. He doesn't need all of us at the same time any more. He's not as out of it as he was yesterday. Go on. Spend a few minutes with him if you want to, separately. Don't push him to talk, about anything. Then, I want you all to get outta here and find some way to amuse yourselves, without getting into trouble." Gibbs gave in but still held the reins of control.

Thirty minutes later, the team left, promising to be back in time for dinner, despite Gibbs' reminder that it wasn't necessary. The afternoon passed quietly, as Gibbs and Ducky urged Tim to sit out back on the porch with them. The three of them sat in silence, enjoying the sunshine and warmth.

Dinner was not a quiet affair, with the team no longer trying to be quiet for Tim's sake. He was up out of bed, so his need for complete peace and quiet was obviously lifted. Now, they wanted to coax him back to awareness, but not abruptly or before he was ready, so all the noise was about unimportant trivial things that wouldn't cause any problems. After dinner, the entire clan crowded into the living room for a night of movies and popcorn. By nine that night, all of them were bedding down, having gotten packed for the trip and already packed the cars.

They all knew tomorrow was gonna be incredibly hard to get through.


	18. Team Effort

_Present Day_

As time lost its quantitive property, Tim's tears seemed just to be just as endless, as did the sobs still racking his shoulders. Using one hand to look at his phone, Gibbs noted that he'd been lost in the flashback of the last few days and Tim, lost in his grief, for over an hour now.

With no apparent end in sight for Tim's outpouring of loss and pain, the older man decided to put the team's Plan A into motion, even as he continued to hold the younger man through it all.. Hitting a few buttons on the phone with one hand while keeping his other one on Tim, he sent a pre-typed and pre-saved text to Abby. One that she'd been waiting for even at this ungodly hour. True to her word, a short fifteen minutes later, Abby text messaged Gibbs that she was outside with her delivery.

Gibbs sent her the other text message that she was now waiting for. Again, it had been pre-typed and pre-saved. In two short minutes, she was at the bedroom door with a very happy but securely leashed 70 pound German shepherd.

Abby's eyes filled with tears at the sight of Tim crying out his sorrow so heart-wrenchingly in Gibbs' arms.

Before she could say anything or even utter a sound, Gibbs motioned for her to stay silent as he reached out for and took Jethro's leash from her before silently but gently sending her on her way. He knew Tim cherished his privacy and would be devastated if the team saw him so broken like this.

Worried that Jethro would startle Tim, Gibbs was greatly relieved to see instead, the dog's sensitivity to his master's mental state manifest itself much safer and kinder. Jethro nuzzled Tim's hand and whined at his master's anguish he couldn't do anything about.

Watching Tim's reaction to the sudden realization that his faithful dog, was now here with him, was comforting to see. Tim's sobs seemed to instantly fade away as the young drew back from the safety and comfort of the anchor that had held him securely through it all.

Gibbs reached over to the bedside table and picked up a hand towel, silently handing it to the young man. Tim took the towel and wiped his face before tossing the towel over to Gibbs' laundry hamper in the corner of the room. Wordlessly, Tim looked at his boss, needing to thank him from the bottom of his broken and hurting heart, yet unable to find the words.

With understanding borne of experiences had in life and knowledge gained about the man Tim was down deep, Gibbs gave him what he knew Tim needed, a nod of understanding, a clasp on the shoulder of a hand extending comfort and sympathy, and the room to himself, as Gibbs got up and walked out, gently closing the door behind him.

With a sigh of heartfelt resignation, Tim welcomed Jethro up on the bed, allowing the dog to bathe him in doggy kisses long overdue. Once Jethro had calmed down and realized his master wasn't leaving, he sedately curled up with Tim, and together, they lay there, seeking solace and peace from each other.

Unwilling to let Tim get dragged back into that pit of despair alone, Gibbs silently opened the door a mere 10 minutes later, checking on the young man, only to find him peacefully asleep with the solid comfort of his dog curled up with him. Smiling for the first time in a while, Gibbs covered Tim with a blanket, took the baby monitor out of the drawer and set it back up and then withdrew from the room silently so they could sleep.

Going back down to his kitchen, he patted Abby on the shoulder in a gesture of thanks for a job well done before he refreshed his coffee and sat down to breakfast with her. After all, he had gotten her out of bed for this mission of mercy, at an ungodly hour; the least he could do was have breakfast with her.

"Gibbs, I don't wanna leave him alone." Abby said quietly with worry.

"Abbs. He's not alone. And he's been surrounded by people for four days straight now. He needs some time without us hovering over him." Gibbs told her quietly. Being witness and sole supporting anchor through the worst of Tim's grief had profoundly affected the older man and he was still feeling the aftershocks.

"Do you want him to disappear inside himself like he was those first 24 hours?" the lab rat asked in frustration and fear. She just knew that if Tim wasn't watched and kept company 24/7, then that was exactly what was gonna happen.

"Abby. Don't. None of us want that for him. You know this." Gibbs reminded her carefully. It was taking every ounce of self-control he had to stay calm in the face of her thoughtlessly thrown words.

"Why are you taking this so lightly, Gibbs?" Abby asked in a sudden flash of anger.

Gibbs was speechless. While anger, hurt and ongoing concern for Tim all battled for center stage of his response, the man refused to give outlet to any of it. Getting up from the table as calmly as he possibly could, he wordlessly took himself out to his back porch, needing the chance to breathe.

Abby watched her silver-haired fox walk away from her without a word, and her heart crumbled. She hadn't meant to hurt him. He meant the world to him, the best father the world could ask for, but she was really seriously stressed about leaving Tim alone like this and she didn't understand why he didn't share her fear for Tim.

Looking at her watch, Abby grimaced. It was barely 7:00 in the morning, too early to call for reinforcements. Closing her eyes in a moment of frustration, she was surprised to find tears slipping down past her closed eyelids. Putting her head down on folded arms, she allowed herself a moment to give in to her frustration and fear.

"Abbs?" Tony's unexpected yet sympathetic and welcome voice startled her. Squelching her crying fest, she lifted her head up and dried her eyes on her sleeve before turning her eyes to see Tony sitting down at the table with her.

"Hey, Tony. What are you doing here so early?" Abby asked in a shaky voice.

"What's wrong, Abby?" Tony asked in return, focusing the conversation where it needed to be.

"I hurt Gibbs and I wasn't trying to." Abby said with abject remorse.

"Talk to me. Tell me what happened." Tony encouraged.

After hearing Abby out, Tony got up, put a comforting hand on Abby's shoulder, and told her:

"You'll see, Abby, Gibbs won't let anything bad happen to Tim. You should already know that though. So, yeah, I'm sure you hurt him. But, I know the both of you, you'll work it out."

"Tony, you didn't see him!" Abby tried to explain where she was coming from.

"See who, Abby?" Tony asked in confusion as he sat back down to listen.

"Tim!"

"Abby, you just got done telling me what happened. Surely, you didn't expect Tim to go through this nightmare without breaking down?"

"Tony, I know Tim better than anyone and I've **never** seen him like this!" Abby cried.

"Abby, think about what you just said. Yeah, you dated him and you guys care a hell ova lot about each other. But, I know Tim, too. And I know for a fact, that he never lets anyone see him when he's upset. Angry, yeah. Pissed, yeah, but, upset, no." Tony explained. "The only reason Gibbs was able to help him through his grief was because Gibbs knows what he's doing Abby."

"I know, Tony. It's just..." Abby tried to explain but couldn't find the words.

"You're upset because Gibbs is trusting Tim's ability to stay in the here and now, to Jethro. Gibbs knows how much those two care about each other, Abby. You need to let go and trust Gibbs to do what's best for Tim."

"But, he needs us, Tony."

"Abby, the dog is a strong emotional bond for Tim, one that he needs right now. I'm sure you're aware that Jethro is the only personal connection that Tim has left in his life right now. Tim needs time with Jethro and Gibbs is making sure that happens."

"And for some reason, Gibbs doing that doesn't worry you?" Abby asked in frustration. Why was she the only one who was worried about it?

"No, Abby. It doesn't." Tony said calmly and with conviction.

"Why not?" the Goth asked.

"Because, Abby. Out of all of us on this team, in this family, Gibbs is the one that's been where Tim is right now. He's felt what Tim's feeling. You can't ask for more experienced help than Gibbs right now." Tony's voice had gotten somber with the subject behind the words.

"You're right, Tony. I know that. I just have this funny feeling in my gut that something really bad's gonna happen to him." Abby said quietly.

"Abby, after everything he's been through, what could possibly qualify as 'really bad' now?" the former Senior Field Agent asked.

"That's exactly my point, Tony! If he's left alone like this, he could wind up doing something to hurt himself or worse!"

"Abby, Tim's not the type to hurt himself like that." Tony reassured her. "Now, why don't you go on up and check on him? Don't disturb him or you will find out just how angry Gibbs can get with you"

Abby glared at him before getting up from the table and heading upstairs to check on her Timmy.

Gibbs entered the kitchen and headed to the coffee pot. Reaching overhead and getting down another coffee cup, he fixed two cups and turned around, handing Tony one before speaking:

"Thank you." was the only thing that came out of Gibbs' mouth before he left the kitchen and headed back outside.

Tony stood still for a minute, absorbing Gibbs' spoken gratitude. After a minute, he headed upstairs to check on Tim for himself. Finding Abby sorrowfully watching him sleep, Tony ushered her out of the room. Before she could protest, he propelled her back down to the kitchen.

"Tony!"

"Abby! You can NOT do that!" Tony explained on a sigh of frustration.

"Do what? Watch him sleep?" Abby didn't understand.

"With the expression on your face that you had? NO! He doesn't need your feelings thrown into everything else he's dealing with! "Tony was beyond aggravated and it was with great relief that he heard Ducky backing him up all of a sudden.

"Anthony is quite right, Abigail." the M.E.'s sudden appearance was a godsend to the both of them.

"Ducky, nice to see you. Abby needs to talk to you. Tim's asleep with the dog keeping watch over him. I'm going out back to talk to Gibbs and then I'm going to Ziva's to check on her. Abby, you need to fill Ducky in, and don't leave anything out!" Tony looked pointedly at the baby monitor for a long minute, watching Tim sleep. As Abby and Ducky looked at the monitor for a minute, Tony ducked out of the kitchen, leaving Abby and Ducky alone to talk.

Finding Gibbs out on the back porch, Tony cleared his throat to announce his presence before he sat down next to the man currently lost in his thoughts.

"She okay?" Gibbs asked.

"She worried that Tim's gonna hurt himself if he's left alone. She's upset that she hurt you. But, yeah, she's okay. You?" Tony answered truthfully but calmly.

"You check on Tim?" Gibbs changed the subject.

"Yeah, still peacefully sleeping. He finally let it all out?" Tony asked.

"Yeah." Gibbs didn't volunteer anything else and Tony hadn't expected him to.

"You think he's gonna hurt himself if we leave him alone?" Tony was beginning to see the merit in Abby's concern.

"Haven't exactly had a chance to see where his head's at yet, Tony. Abby's assuming the worst and with that attitude she could make it worse for him."

"Yeah, you're right. Ducky's here. Maybe he can get her to understand that."

"Let's hope so. You check on Ziva lately? She's been awful quiet through all of this."

"Checked on her last night. She seemed okay. I didn't wanna wake her up this early. I'm gonna go check on her now. Want me to take Abby with me?" Tony asked.

"No. She's fine here. I don't want her to feel banished just because she spoke her mind." Gibbs told him.

"Ok. I'll be back with Ziva." Tony said before he headed through the gate on out to the front yard, and left.

Gibbs sat down in his lawn chair and closed his eyes, resting in the knowledge and security that his two kids in the house were under the supervision and care of Ducky while his two other kids were looking out for each other and would be back in a little while.

Finally, Gibbs was actually able to sleep.


	19. Troubled Dreams

_Faces, an endless sea of faces, some etched in grief, others in sorrow, still others in compassion and some clearly expressing pity. So many faces, an endless crowd of emotions that somehow register, yet not a single ounce of solace to be found in any of them. Alone in a crowd. How have he gotten here?_

_Only the hands supporting him, literally holding him up, not letting him even come close to falling down, are giving him that glimmer of solace he feels, needs. He is clinging to that fragile piece of solace with the last remnants of strength he possesses. When that strength weakens, only the grounding support and sympathy in the cobalt blue eyes that never waver along with the steady green eyes sending him even more strength and support, give him another measure of comfort, allowing him to steady himself along this horrible journey that seems so endless_.

_When the words he didn't realize he'd been speaking, haven't even heard, suddenly won't come anymore, the paper they are written on, clutched in his now clenched hand, almost destroyed by the surprising strength, borne of buried anger, behind the action, several comforting hands gently squeeze his arms and shoulders even as words are whispered even more gently into his ear:_

_"It's okay, Tim. Let me do this for you." that compassionate voice again encompasses him with more strength even through the fog._

_The paper is gently removed from his hand as still another hand comes to replace the one on his shoulder that moved to rescue the paper and himself from the Eulogy he can't finish. In a fog, whatever words he's spoken have floated away with the air that somehow continues to come from his lungs._

_Every breath of air that returns to his lungs now brings acute pain with it until it feels like he is dying from the sheer magnitude of it all. And still those arms hold him up, comfortingly embrace him even, as the overload begins to manifest itself in tremors that soon begin to rise up despite the security he somehow feels wrapped in._

_From somewhere in the distance, a compassionate voice calmly soothes him and somehow he feels arms surround him in safety: "Sash. It's okay, Tim. I've got you. You're safe." encompassing him with uplifting strength and even a measure of feeling safe, even through the fog_

_Suddenly, the words in the church stop and the movement begins. Gently he is propelled down the stairs, through the small church, step by endless step. Will this painful journey ever end? Along the way, more soothing words softly cross his ears several times. _

_"It's okay Tim, we're right here with you. Stay with us, now." This voice is younger but just as strong and compassionate as the previous one._

_Somehow another dose of strength finds its way to his heart and the feeling of being safe is there right along with it. From behind the veil of fog encompassing his mind, he somehow manages to tell himself to do something and it gets done, he nods his head in silent acceptance of the words._

_As his body begins to automatically fold into position to sit in the car they've now reached, the tremors grow stronger and only the strong arms supporting every step he takes and the often softly spoken words of comfort and reassurance keep him safe from the nothingness that continues to call to him._

_The motion of the ride and the bodies that surround him with the feeling of security settles the tremors back down and in exhaustion; he slips his head back against the seat, closing his eyes in surrender to whatever is waiting for him there. Almost instantly, his slain family are there waiting for him. Mom! Dad! Sara! They all looking at him with eyes full of pain and sorrow, blame and anger. No! He can't stay here with them! He needs to get away from them. He has to run; he can't get away from the devastated look on their faces fast enough!_

_Yet again, from the distance, the calming voice reaches him, manages to calm his troubled soul. "Sash. Tim. Relax. You're okay now." Again, comforting arms somehow encompass him._

_Snapping his eyes open, his body now feels wrapped in an embrace, someone taking care of him even as he'd become haunted in his sleep, his body now trembling terribly with the continued effects of the pain those faces have brought with them. How can he ever close his eyes again? How could they blame him for this? The arms he felt surrounding him aren't the same as the ones encompassing him now. Was he imagining things?_

_Slowly turning his head, he sees the black hair even before he registers the body that holds him with gentleness and compassion. With a sigh, he allows his own body to melt into the embrace, too weak and worn down to do any different. This time, though, he refuses to close his eyes. Scared to see the faces of his slain family members again, he has nowhere to hide. Desperately, even as he clings to the embrace, his eyes search for an anchor to hold him, save him, from the sea of despair and pain that waits for him behind his closed eyes. Thankfully, the cobalt blue and even the promising green are there for him, again. Steadying him with their steadfast promise and ever-flowing sympathy, he soon feels himself lulled into a state of calm, even as several soft voices repeatedly reach his ears and soothe him._

_"Sash. It's okay, Timmy. We've got you. You're okay."  
""Relax, Tim. We won't let anything hurt you."_

_The embrace remains, steady and unrelenting, refusing to let him go. He still feels no inclination to fight it. When the motion of the car stops, his anxiety level suddenly spikes through the roof and the tremors have returned and regained their strength and numbers. Again, strong compassionate arms hold onto him. This time, softer ones embrace him too, as he is gently unfolded from the car and propelled into forward motion once again, each step wracked with fear induced tremors that somehow don't abate, even though the security he's surrounded in should have done away with them._

_Again, from the distance, the compassionate voice reaches out to him: "It's okay, Tim. You're safe now." Yet another dose of security and safety filters through his brain, as he feels encompassed by a pair of strong arms supporting him, allowing him to keep breathing, despite the pain that breathing brings._

_Again, up close, comforting words cross his ears, this time they are an attempt to ease the obvious fear coursing through him._

_"Tim. It's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of. No one's gonna hurt you. We're right here, Buddy." That younger but strong and compassionate voice has returned, replenishing his almost empty supply of strength. The fear is retreating and the tremors are easing up. Even his breathing has quieted down, become almost normal._

_This time when the forward momentum is stopped, he finds himself standing in front of his sister's resting place, his eyes now glued to her final bed as tears escape his eyes unaware. Standing there, literally on the strength of others, he can't think, can't feel and no longer even takes in the faces that surround the place they are all looking at. The words being spoken are tiny disturbances on the radar of his fog riddled mind, none making sense or even penetrating through._

_Suddenly, the sea of faces move as one and form a line, slowly walking toward that place, that box where his sister...No! Oh, God! As his knees buckle, he is quickly and silently helped into a chair, instantly becoming re-attached to hands that are once again quick to let him realize he is safe. The hands that anchor him, the arms that surround him, and the voices that softly soothe and calm him, keep him leaping off into the abyss even as it steadily calls to him._

_Somehow, the rumble of that now familiar voice reaches him yet again, stabilizing him. "It's okay, Tim. I'm here."_

_Forward movement. This time, he is helped up from his chair and he is propelled forward. When he reaches the closed final resting place of his baby sister, his mind seems to wake up and begin searching for the words that will make sense of it all, somehow explain it to himself. Overloaded and exhausted with the effort, his mind quickly retreats to the edge of the abyss he is now so tempted to give in to, leaving behind only a deeper fog of numbness in its' wake._

_His eyes open against his will. He feels disorientated and afraid. Where is he now and how did he get here? The supportive arms that have held him up until now, are gone and the feeling of being totally and utterly alone descends upon him like a heavy blanket that quickly works to suffocate what little breath he has left in his body. Gasping for air, he struggles to his feet, only to find the blessed comforting arms quickly surround him and rescue him from falling completely into that place he'd feels widening in front of him. Again, soft comforting words make their way to his ears, this time; they seem to come from two different voices at once, one in his ear and the other, now familiar one in the distance._

_"Relax, Tim. I've got you."_

_"Relax, Timothy, You're okay, dear boy. Breathe in. Breathe out, there you go. That's it, calm yourself. You are not alone. We are all here with you."_

_Gently he is guided back down into his chair and multiple arms are instantly re-attached to him, grounding him to the knowledge that indeed his is not alone. Still befuddled and now unwilling to close his eyes, he finds himself searching the faces he sees, for the eyes he has come to depend on for strength, both pairs. _

_Finding them and reconnecting with them, he finds he can't look away, feels the need to draw all the strength he can from them. Slowly, he feels his heartbeat return to normal as the soft voice confirms what he he can feel._

_"That's good, Timothy, your breathing has returned to normal. You're all right, young man. Just relax. Try to get some sleep."_

_Suddenly, for the first time since he'd lost the words back in the church, he finds the need to speak, needs that gentle voice that's so kindly speaking to him understand. He can't possibly do what he's being told to do._

_"I can't." is all he can manage, but somehow, the voice and even the eyes that he's locked onto, seem to understand without any further explanation._

_"You don't have to. Do try to relax, though." the soft voice suggests as a gentle hand connects with his shoulder and squeezes in a show of support and comfort as a concerned face offers a gentle smile of hope and caring. Once again, against his will, his eyes do what he doesn't want them to do, they close. And this time, he's too exhausted to win the fight._

_The bumpiness of the plane touching down awakens him, startling him as the realization that he has indeed somehow found a slice of peaceful sleep seeps into his brain. Before he can reach through the fog enough to relish that thought, he is once again gently helped from his seat and guided forward, down off the plane and again, folded into a car._

_Needing to know if his dreams will be safe now, he lays his head back and rests his eyes as for the trip. In blessed relief, he finds his ability to close his eyes in peace has somehow returned. And though he is unsure of how long that good fortune will last, he settles into relaxing while he is able to find a coherent thought that tells him to do it. Relaxing, he finds, allows him to hold off the horror and the pain. He's somehow managed to begin building a wall in an attempt to separate himself from all that awaits him in the world beyond his closed eyes._

_Too soon, the car has stopped and once again, he is assisted to the world outside the vehicle. Almost instantly, he feels the fear refill his heart and the tremors reclaim his body. Within a heartbeat, comforting hands and arms have surrounded him and reclaimed the right to remind him he is safe. And the voice tries once again to soothe him._

_"Relax. Just Relax. I've got you."_

_Before he can remember to reach past the fog and wonder about anything, he is gently propelled up stairs and helped onto a bed and encouraged to drink a soothing glass of water. It doesn't take long before exhaustion returns, anxious to reclaim him and he settles himself in for it with a sense of being safe. Arms that long held him safe and secure, now retreat, only to be replaced by comforting hands that remain connected to him as he slips away into sleep._

_*Click*_

Tim's eyes snapped open as his brain surged back to the world of the living and awake. The arms he'd felt wrapped around him, supporting him and offering him what he'd needed as he'd gone through that painful day, had obviously been there for him as his dreams had sent him back through the memories of Sara's funeral, step by painful step.

He wasn't alone even now.

"Okay now?" Gibbs asked him quietly as he patiently let Tim do things in his own time. There was no rush. These first few minutes of lucidity needed to be handled carefully.

"I think so." Tim said quietly. He had yet to move, his body still trying to adjust from the raw emotions he'd been caught in his sleep, to the calm security he felt now. Wrung out, still numb, and now feeling embarrassed, he wasn't' sure what to do with himself.

"You up for some company? Got somebody who's' anxious to see you." Gibbs said quietly.

"I don't think I'm fit for company, Boss." Tim said quietly as he suddenly struggled to get up.

"Relax." Gibbs told him, as he encouraged him to stop struggling and remain relaxed. "Trust me; this company will be happy to see you, no matter what." Snapping his phone out, he made a cryptic call.

"It's time."

Tim knew he should trust Gibbs, but he couldn't help but feel a little anxious. Thankfully, it was only a short minute later before the door handle was turned and the door pushed open by one four footed deliriously happy canine, now that he'd been brought back to his master.

Tim smiled as he sat up and welcomed his beloved dog, with a nod from Gibbs, up onto the bed, wrapping him in a huge hug with relief and actual joy. Gibbs smiled, put the baby monitor away, and once again, slipped out of his bedroom.

Now that he was awake and cognitive, it was time to leave Tim and Jethro alone to reconnect.


	20. Coming Out Of The Fog

Heading back down to his kitchen, Gibbs felt the first glimmer of hope and relief wash through him that he'd felt in many hours. The last couple of hours had been extremely trying, both emotionally and physically. Sitting with Tim and holding him, being there for him throughout his obviously vivid dreams and sleep induced journey down memory lane, had the parental lion within Gibbs more than ready to slay the village, the young man's pain and misery had been so real, so tangible.

When he'd woken from his cat nap on the back porch, a mere thirty minutes after he'd closed his eyes, Gibbs had joined Ducky and Abby in the kitchen to sit and relax, with the window into how Tim was doing, through the baby monitor sitting once again on the kitchen counter. As Gibbs had compared notes with the M.E. a silent Abby listening and absorbing everything without so much as a hint of a response,, it had been agreed between the two of them, that Tim needed to be allowed to sleep as much as his body allowed, at least for the first 24 hours after his ordeal, even though he hadn't been doing a whole lot better before Sara's funeral.

Progress, especially mental progress simply couldn't be rushed. It had also been agreed that Gibbs would continue to be the one who would help Tim through any unpleasant dreams that might come up for the young man. Abby's eyes had filled with tears at this point and Gibbs had gotten up from his chair and pulled her into a hug and verbally reassuring her that everything was going to be okay. The team would get Tim through this and when Tim was able to reconnect with them, she could do her comforting thing then, so long as she paid attention to things like body language and visual cues, and tempered her actions accordingly. Gibbs reassuring words and comforting hug did wonders for the young woman's ability to calm down and think with less emotion and more logic. For good measure, Gibbs even smiled at her as she let go of him and sat back down.

Ziva and Tony had arrived back at the house not even 90 minutes after Tony had departed to check on Ziva. She seemed fine, but since Gibbs hadn't had any time to talk to her throughout this whole ordeal, he remained concerned about her. Her ingrained sense of self and keeping everything locked up, was, of course, no help in this situation, so he would have to dig for the answers he needed.

Taking Ziva out back, he had let her know that he needed to know how she was doing with everything that had happened. Gibbs knew that seeing Tim in his broken down state had profoundly affected all of them, but he needed to know from Ziva herself, what was going on in her head.

_**Flashback***_

_"I need you to talk to me, Ziva." his tone was quiet and patient, sympathetic even._

_"Gibbs, I am fine. I understand that you are concerned about me. I do not understand why. But, Tony has explained to me that you think I do not feel needed? Maybe it is you who should talk to me." Ziva answered with clear questions of her own._

_"We're a family, Ziva. I know you don't understand the complicated American version of work family being just as tied together as personal family. As out of character as it may seem, I care about all of you, like you're my kids and that includes making sure you're okay. Watching Tim go through this isn't easy on any of us and I'm certainly not expecting it to be any easier on you than it is on us. I know you and Tim have a strong friendship. I've seen the way he looks out for you."_

_"Yes, Gibbs, McGee has always been a good friend to me, even from the very first day I came to NCIS. Everyone knows that. And you are right, our friendship is strong. Just as he looks out for me, I, look out for him as well." Ziva replied with a strong voice._

_"I know, Ziva. That's why I know watching him go through this has to be tough on you." the boss said calmly._

_"Do you know why, our friendship is strong, Gibbs? Why I had no trouble building a quick yet trusting friendship with McGee? Or why I have no problem understanding that this is not just a team, but a family as well?"_

_"Knowing Tim longer than I've known you, if I were to hazard a guess, I would say it was because of his ingrained manners and unwillingness to hurt people." Gibbs calmly answered._

_"That was part of it, yes. However, the defining moment happened right in the squad room, at the beginning of the day. All of you were at your desks and I was at mine, for the first time since you had come back after Kate's funeral."_

_"Was a tough time for all of us, Ziva." Gibbs quietly reminded her. The pain that always came with Kate's memories, especially those of her senseless death, threatened to rise up from the depths of their place in his heart. Ruthlessly, he pushed them back down. Now was not the time to go there. Now was about the team member in front of him._

_"Yes, Gibbs, it was. However, it was also then that I realized how much this team cares about each other and looks out for each other, even though Tony often times treats McGee horribly. When McGee came in that morning and saw me sitting at Kate's desk for the first time, it startled him, worse than it did you night before, when we talked about it and I gave her sketchbook to you."_

_"What are you talking about?" Gibbs asked in honest confusion._

_"You did not realize that seeing someone take Kate's desk would be just as hard for McGee as it had been for you and Tony?" Ziva asked in surprise._

_"Wasn't something I had a whole lot of time to think about, Ziva." Gibbs quietly sidestepped the question in self-defense. The truth of the matter was, he hadn't stopped to realize how much that day might have affected Tim. He'd known Tony and Kate were close, since they had been partners for two years. But, Tim? He was still a 'probie' settling into his first full year with the team when Kate had been murdered. Sure, the young man was compassionate and a gentleman and always looked out for the others, but other than that, Gibbs hadn't given it much thought. They'd needed to keep going in order to keep going. He hadn't encouraged talking about it or looking back, as much for their sakes as well as his own._

_"I am merely trying to remind you that when Tim saw me sitting at Kate's desk for the first time, he was deeply affected by it and still he did not let it affect how he treated me or how it affected our friendship. He never talked about it or made an issue of it. I do not think he even realized I witnessed his reaction. Although I sometimes see pain in his eyes when he looks at my desk, I know it is not because I am sitting there, but because Kate is not." _

_"That's not the only reason, Ziva." Tony said from the doorway. Uncharacteristically, he'd gone out to the back porch to deliberately eavesdrop. Knowing he was taking his life in his own hands, Tony had done it anyway, driven by the insatiable need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ziva was in fact, okay._

_"I do not understand, Tony." Ziva accepted his interruption without hesitation and for once, Gibbs did, too. For that, Tony was eternally grateful._

_"Survivor's guilt." Gibbs explained quietly before Tony could._

_"I am missing something, yes?" Ziva asked. _

_"Haven't you ever heard what happened that day?" Tony asked in a tone that was too quiet for the normally brash man. "Didn't you read any of the reports?"_

_"No, I did not." Ziva answered without explanation._

_"Ari's first target at the warehouse that day was Tim. The shooter inside the warehouse beat Ari to the punch, which took Tim just out of Ari's shot." Tony explained. "Tim's not one to forget something like that."_

_"Or ever find a way to feel good about it." Gibbs added._

_"Especially when your Senior Field Agent stupidly asks why Ari didn't shoot McGee." Tony said with self-recrimination._

_"Stop, Tony. This is not the reason I brought this up!" Ziva said in frustration. "I simply wanted to explain why I understand this team and why my friendship with McGee is as strong and special to me as it is. Watching him go through this has not been easy. All we can do is hope we can help him survive this and be there for him when he needs us to be."_

_"I agree. That's why we're not gonna try to do it alone. He'll have help."_

_"You're sending him to a Psychiatrist." Ziva reasoned._

_"If you don't, Ducky will." Tony replied understandingly._

_Gibbs nodded in silent agreement _

_**End Flashback**_

They had headed back into the kitchen to rejoin Abby and Ducky for food and the chance to check in on Tim. While things had been calm. Ducky again laid down the decision that Gibbs be the one to help Tim through any bad dreams that might come up. The team had agreed without any problem.

It hadn't even been four hours into Tim's slumber before the evidence of nightmares had surfaced with a vengeance. Hearing his cries and concerned about the dog's response as well as the place Tim's mind was taking him, Ducky and Gibbs had both gone upstairs as quickly as they could get there. When they'd reached the bedroom, they'd been surprised to find Jethro acting calm, steadfastly remaining by Tim's side, body up against body, as if the poor dog needed the physical contact.

Wasting no time, Gibbs had gently sat down on the bed and pulled Tim over to him, half pulling him up so the young man's back was resting against Gibbs' chest as the older man held him, physically grounded him, and softly spoke to him. The first time Tim had calmed down and resumed his peaceful sleep, Gibbs had then taken the time to put the baby monitor back in the drawer and then turn his focus to comforting the German shepherd.

As he had quietly but firmly called the dog, Jethro had done his bidding and gotten down off the bed and walked around to the man. Gibbs had rewarded the dog by petting him and talking to him quietly. It hadn't taken long before the dog had calmed down and relinquished his protection duty to Gibbs, finding a corner and curling up into a ball, contentedly dropping off to sleep since he wasn't presently needed on the job. Ducky had quickly checked Tim's vital signs and given Gibbs the "everything's fine" nod and headed back downstairs. He would keep the team at bay.

Now, at long last, Tim had reached the other side of those painful memory induced dreams and was awake, allowing himself to let go and be himself, a grieving human being comforted by his faithful canine. Gibbs knew that his agent would be okay for a little while and in actuality, needed this time for recharge. Hell, they both did.

As the day wore on, everyone seemed to relax a little more. Although Tim remained tucked up in Gibbs' room with Jethro, no one pushed him to come out. Comparing notes, it was discovered that it had been way too long since the young man had eaten anything and so Ducky headed up the stairs to work his magic in getting Tim to take in some much needed nutrition while the team watched with disappointment as the M.E. stored the monitor back in the drawer, denying them any further view of how Tim was doing.

Ducky gently persuaded Tim to unbury his head from his canine's fur and take in the drink his body needed to keep functioning. As Tim drank it down, his demeanor seemed to change, a calmness settling in where fear and helplessness had just been residing for the last four days. His eyes seemed to lose their endless fear and pain, just for a moment, before filling with worry and a fresh supply of unresolved fear of the unknown.

"Timothy, I can see you have a lot of things running through your mind right now. If you need to talk, I am here and Jethro is right downstairs in the kitchen. The rest of your team is ready to do whatever it is you need. Simply say the word, Timothy and help is yours to be had." Ducky attempted to soothe the numerous emotions running rampant through the young man's mind.

"Thanks, Ducky. But, I don't know anything right now. What to do, what to say, what to think..." Tim tried to explain the unexplainable.

"That is perfectly understandable, young man. Under the circumstances, I don't believe there is any right answer to those questions." Ducky reasoned for him. "However, there is one thing you must do, Timothy."

"I know, Ducky. Have to eat. Kinda hard to do when I don't have an appetite." Tim reasoned.

"Understandable, Timothy. That is why you must substitute any meal you cannot eat with at least one nutritional shake. If you do not, I shall admit you to the hospital so they can do it for you through an iv." the M.E. threatened.

"That won't be necessary." Tim answered.

Ducky sat down next to Tim on the bed, encouraged by the way Timothy was talking so openly to him. "Tell me, Timothy, how do you feel?"

"I don't know. I feel like I've been living inside a fog for a week now. I'm so tired, it's like I haven't slept for a week, but I know that's all I've been doing. I know, because my head hurts in that way that happens when you've slept too much. Have I even been out of this room?" Tim responded.

"No. you haven't. Well, except for the difficult journey to your sister's funeral, that is." The older man said quietly as he dug through his medical bag and brought out some pain reliever. "Here, take this and lie back down for a few minutes."

Ducky handed him the tablets and Tim swallowed them with the water left for him on the table before attempting to say anything**.** "Won't more sleep make it worse?" Tim asked as his head began to hurt worse.

"It is possible. Can you sit back and relax while the medicine begins to work?" The M.E. suggested.

"Yeah. Thanks, Ducky. I'll be okay now. You don't have to babysit me." Tim said with a small smile.

"Are you certain you wish to be left alone, Timothy?" Ducky asked in concern.

"No. But, I'm not really alone with that baby monitor, am I?" Tim asked without heat in his tone.

"No, you're not." Ducky admitted. "We haven't left you completely alone. We were too concerned about you to do so."

"It's okay. I appreciate everyone's concern, I really do. But, I'm okay." Tim set his feet on the floor and stood to his feet, heading for the shower.

"Your head feeling better already?" Ducky asked the retreating young man.

"It's easing up. I promise, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna take a shower. Can you do me a favor and ask Tony if he's got any spare clothes in his car that I can borrow?" Tim asked as he walked toward the bathroom.

"No need, Timothy." Ducky answered as he pointed toward the gym bag next to the chair his team had taken turns residing in when they'd watched over him.

"What? This is my stuff?" Tim asked in confusion.

"Yes, Timothy, Jethro sent Anthony to your apartment to get you some clothes while you were out of focus." Ducky calmly explained.

"Wow! I really was out of it, wasn't I? Guess that means I've been a real pain in the ass for everyone, huh?" Tim said with a full dose of his normal self-depreciation back in his tone.

"Nonsense, Timothy. I can promise you that if any of your team members hear you say that, you will be "Gibbs-slapped' to the point of needing to be treated for a concussion!" Ducky warned.

Smiling in silent apology, Tim stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Ducky waited until he heard the shower come on before stripping the bed, urging the German Sheppard to go on downstairs where someone on the team would undoubtedly let the poor canine outside. After he re-made the bed, Ducky set the gym bag up on the bed, hung a clean towel on the bathroom door, picked up the water glass and empty shake can and headed downstairs himself.

***NCIS***

As soon as he forced himself to step under the shower, Tim felt the overwhelming sorrow lift away and disappear. Although the now deeply settling pain of the entire ordeal was still tangent, the gloom and doom fog was gone. The knowledge that his team hadn't left him completely alone through any of his fog-filled days, actually warmed his heart, softened the glare of helplessness that still had its tendrils wrapped around him.

Remembering that Gibbs had held him up and held onto him through several emotional breakdowns in the last few days, lifted his spirits out of the pit of grief it had been cast into. If Gibbs, who had lived through his own family tragedy, could be here for him, through his, then the least Tim could do was climb back onto his own two feet and figure out what to do next. Somehow he knew, whatever that 'next' was, it wouldn't be something he'd have to handle alone.

Once back in the kitchen, Ducky assured the team that Tim was up and in the shower, admittedly emotionally lost at the moment, but at least functioning under his own steam and his own decision to get up and get in the shower. Abby was missing from the kitchen, having been the one who had taken Jethro outside when he'd come downstairs. Tony looked concerned, but Ziva looked relieved and they seemed to balance each other out at the moment as they both got up and headed outside to keep Abby company while they waited to see what was gonna happen next. The one thing they knew was that Tim wouldn't want the entire team waiting for his descent to the kitchen like a pack of hungry wolves.

Gibbs was concerned. "Duck, you sure he's okay? He seem like he's thinking about anything we need to be worried about?" The boss wasn't blind to the possibility that Abby had been petrified of earlier. But, he wasn't gonna zero in on it beyond checking with Ducky on it.

"No, Jethro. I do not get that from him. He's simply unsure what to do with himself now that his mind has allowed him to come out of the fog." the M.E. answered.

"Okay. Now that Tim has cleared that hurdle, what do we tell him?" Gibbs asked.

"Tell me about what, Boss?"


	21. One Step at a Time

_"Okay. Now that Tim has cleared that hurdle, what do we tell him?" _  
_"Tell me about what, Boss?"  
_*******************************

"How you feelin'? Gibbs quietly asked his agent while pushing a chair out from the table for him with his foot.

Watching him silently sit down, Gibbs took advantage of the unexpected quiet, using it to scrutinize what he could pick up from the young man's body language. A silent Ducky was apparently doing the same thing. Although the pain was still there in his eyes, it had softened with something slightly unreadable. Apparently, Tim wasn't hurrying to hide anything which was a great sign. Gibbs was relieved to see there wouldn't be any need to even discuss the younger man's right to not bury anything.

"Better." Tim finally admitted after the momentary hesitation. His tired voice held appreciation for his boss and the rest of the team as well as honesty. This rare show of complete honesty in regard to his health and well-being, while throwing Gibbs off a little, also refreshed in his mind, the precarious hold they had on Tim's ability to handle the surplus of pain and tragedy fate had lumped together and dumped in his lap. None of them knew how he'd be able to handle the rest of what life had dealt him, once he was made aware of it.

The fact that Tim had taken the time to think before giving his answer was encouraging. It offered hope and a promise that somehow, someway, things just might get better for him from here. Gibbs wasn't sure how they'd be able to get him through the next set of hurdles lying in wait for Tim, but he did know that none of them would walk away or even think of giving up in doing whatever it took to help their teammate over every one of them.

"What to you need to tell me about?" Tim asked in the silence that had incidentally arisen.

The young man was determined to get the answer out of his boss. He knew Gibbs and the rest of them were worried about him, but he also knew now that there were things Gibbs and Ducky obviously wanted and needed to tell him. Did the others know? Were they all trying to protect him from something? He had to admit there hadn't been a chance for anyone to talk to him about anything lately, but there was no time like the present to get it out in the open.

Ducky had known Jethro's mind was spinning with the burden of how to get Timothy through everything that was coming up as well as how to break any of it to him. He'd remained silent in order to give the man time to think. Now, he wished he'd filled the silence with something that would turn the youngest man's attention away from what he'd obviously overheard.

"Timmy! You're up! Can I get a hug, please?" Abby exclaimed somewhat quietly out as she arrived back in the kitchen with a happy Jethro in tow.

Ziva and Tony had tried to get her to leave Tim alone for a while and stay out back with them, but the lab rat was too desperate for a hug from her best friend who had been locked away in misery and sleep for the last four days. Nevertheless, Tim's fellow-agents remained outside, determined not to smother him in his first moments back with them.

"Hey. Abby. Sure. I'd like that." Tim answered her.

He patted his dog and then got up from his chair and walked over to her with a small slip of a smile as he welcomed her abnormally gentle hug from which she seemed most reluctant to let him go. Apparently she thought he was fragile and for some reason, at this moment he was grateful for her consideration. He wasn't happy at her incredibly bad timing, interrupting his quest for the answer to his question, like it had, but he had no intention of slighting her whatsoever. Tim forced himself to step back from her welcoming comfort before it opened doors he had at long last managed to slam shut on things best left locked away at the moment.

"You wanna go to dinner with me?" Abby asked hopefully as she did her best to hide her surprise at his physical step back from her.

Trying hard not to take it personally, Abby chose to ignore whatever it meant and concentrate on this idea that popped into her head. She knew Tony and Ziva wanted to keep their eyes on Tim, too, but she wanted some time alone with him, wanted the chance to talk to him like they used to talk, about everything, without holding anything back from each other.

"No." Gibbs quickly vetoed Abby's offer. While his quiet no-nonsense tone softened the bite of his rapid-fire response; it did little to stave off Abby's instant rush of disbelief.

As he locked eyes with her, he silently let his displeasure at her attempt to circumvent the team's collective collaboration in looking out for Tim's best interests, be known. This going out on her own, without checking with Ducky or Gibbs, could have consequences for Tim that none of them would be able to deal with. None of them knew what he was capable of handling right now and to push him too soon was a risk neither man was willing to take.

"Gibbs!" Abby cried. "Why not?"

The boss wordlessly nodded in Ducky's direction, letting Abby know that she, in fact, would have to go through the M.E. for such approval after everything Tim had been through and was recovering from. The M.E. was quick to take the reins of the discussion since he wholeheartedly agreed with Gibbs' decision on Timothy's behalf.

"Abigail, Timothy needs time to regain his strength from the difficult ordeal his body has just been through. Not being able to eat properly or get out of bed for days at a time requires a period of adjustment from which to recover. Trying to overdue himself by exerting himself with the pressures and stress of venturing out into a public eating establishment will not help the situation." Ducky tried to be gentle as much for Timothy's state of mind as for Abby's feelings.

"Abby, I have to agree. I'm nowhere near ready to put out that much effort right now. I'm sorry." Tim quietly admitted as he silently sent glances of appreciation to Gibbs and Ducky for being so quick to think of what was best for him.

They'd probably had plenty of forced responsibility for him just like this over the past four days, although he needed to thank them from the bottom of his heart, he wanted to do it privately. His teammates also deserved to be thanked and that was something he was willing to do now. Determined to keep the peace, Tim wrapped his arm around Abby's shoulders and turned her toward the doorway as he spoke with a tiny smile of encouragement.

"C'mon, Abbs, let's go sit out back in the fresh air with Tony and Ziva."

"Okay. It's nice to have you back with us, Tim." Abby said quietly as she took in the fact that Tim had actually admitted he didn't have the energy to go out to eat. He was at least trying to smile and willing to spend time with them. At least he wasn't trying to hide out. That was something to be encouraged about. Jethro trotted back out to the back porch since his master seemed to be headed that way.

"Timothy, you must eat something. What would you like us to prepare for you?" Ducky asked as the younger man took steps toward the hallway with Abby by his side.

"Duck, I'm really not hungry." Tim quietly vowed as he respectfully stopped to turn and look Ducky in the eye and answer him. "Can we just do as you said earlier, please?"

"For now, Timothy, But, you must attempt to eat more and soon!" the M.E. directed with the tone he used when he wouldn't tolerate being argued with.

"I know, Ducky. Maybe by breakfast time, I'll be hungry enough for a meal." Tim said quietly.

"What do you want us to have ready for you for breakfast, Tim?" Gibbs asked cooperatively.

"Whatever Ducky thinks I should eat is fine with me, Boss. As long as it has flavor, I'm okay with it." Tim answered, looking Gibbs in the eye as he answered, trying to see what Gibbs might be feeling or even thinking that he wasn't saying as well as letting him see that he was really was trying to be okay.

"Okay, go on; go spend some time with the team. The fresh air''ll do you good." Gibbs let him go with a smile of encouragement.

As Tim and Abby headed out back, Gibbs looked expectantly at Ducky, waiting for the man's expert opinion to roll out. He didn't have long to wait.

"Jethro, he's pulled himself together remarkably well, as you can see for yourself. Although, I'm quite sure I don't have to tell you that his current state is, at best, precarious and must be handled carefully. He is not ready to hear any of what you have to tell him."

"Yeah, Duck. I know. We can't wait too long. He has to hear it from us, though. You know that. If he finds out any other way, it'll definitely send him over the edge." Gibbs warned. "There's gotta be a middle ground here, Duck, for his sake."

******************

"Hey, Probie, how are ya?" Tony asked when Tim stepped out onto the back porch with Abby.

"Hey, Tony. I'm okay, I think. Hey, Ziva. You guys okay? I mean I know you've pretty much stuck around here like glue for me this past week. You must be going stir crazy." Tim offered by way of thanks.

"Stir-crazy, McGee?" Ziva asked in confusion.

"Never mind, Ninja." Tony said with a grin. "Probie, don't sweat it. We're fine. Just tell us how you're really doing."

"Really, Tony, I'm trying to be okay. I really appreciate you guys being here for me, even if I wasn't here, if you know what I mean." Tim said in the same grain of honesty he somehow wasn't able to put away.

"McGee, even I understand what you mean and you do not need to thank us. It is what we do for each other, yes?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, I know, Ziva, it's still only fair that I thank you for it." Tim reminded her.

"Hey, Probie, wanna watch a movie?" Tony quietly threw out the only suggestion he could think of to break up the steadily sobering conversation and get Tim doing something besides explaining how he felt. The fact that Tim admitted he was 'trying to be okay' worried Tony as much as it floored him that Probie was being so brutally honest.

"Actually, Tony, if we can do it a little later, that would be okay. I really would like to just soak up the sun and some fresh air for now." Tim requested gently.

"Yeah, I get it. You've been cooped up for a while. Sun probably feels real good right about now." Tony reasoned in a big brother tone that Tim found refreshing and soothing.

"Yeah. It does." Tim replied. He lay his head back against the back of the chair and closed his eyes to find peace. For all of ten minutes, peace reigned on the back porch as all of them silently relaxed as much for Tim's peace of mind as for their own. Even Jethro curled up in the shade and dozed, content to be around all of them.

Unfortunately, peace wasn't Tim's to be had for very long. In only ten short minutes, the nightmare returned to the screen behind his eyes with a bang, actually bringing with it the pain that led the migraine that had been its' shadow in the last two weeks. At least this time, he wasn't alone. This time, he could ask for help. Without opening his eyes or moving his head he spoke quietly, not even sure he had an audience, but, hoping like hell that he did.

"Guys? Can you get Ducky for me, please?"

Tim's quiet request had a timber of pain in it and had Abby, Tony and Ziva, all snapping open their eyes to look at Tim in alarm before quickly looking to each other with fear. Unwilling to raise his voice, since Tim was obviously in pain, Tony, quickest out of his chair, literally ran in the house after the M.E. Making sure to close the French doors behind him and step most of the way through the living room. Tony raised the alarm.

**"Ducky**!"

Instantly Ducky and Gibbs were running from the kitchen, as Tony silently pointed to where Tim sat in his chair. Upon arrival, Duck quickly realized what the problem was just by the pain etched so clearly now on Timothy's face and the way in which the young man had twisted and turned himself away from the sun.

"Come, Timothy, the sun will only cause you more pain." Ducky softly advised as he took one of the young man's arms, while Gibbs took hold of the other one; both men gently leading Tim back inside and helping lie down on the couch in the living room. Tony drew the curtains while Abby gently shifted Tim's now blindingly throbbing head onto a pillow and covered him with a blanket. Ziva quietly closed the doors and stood by waiting to help when she could. As Ducky returned from the kitchen bearing pain reliever, Ziva stepped up along with Abby and together, they helped Tim take the meds while Tony helped him sit up enough to get the task accomplished.

Once he'd taken the pain meds and gotten settled back down under the blanket to hide from the light, they all silently turned to leave him in peace. Tim felt panic suddenly grip him. He had to do something!

"Boss?" he desperately whispered, needing to hear that he wasn't alone and that his rock through the storms that had raged against him not long ago was still available to help him through this one now. Even though he was rolled onto his side with his head turned toward the back of the couch, he could feel Gibbs' presence and it lifted his flagging spirit.

"Right here, Tim" Gibbs said quietly, as he sat down behind Tim where he could see the young man's face and still reach out to him if need be.

"Don't leave me, please." Tim begged heartbrokenly in a whisper.

"I'm not going anywhere, son. I promise." Gibbs solemnly vowed as he placed a reassuring hand on Tim's shoulder in support

Stoically, Tim said nothing more, reluctant to throw anything else at Gibbs after all he'd already done for him. Just having him prepared to stay and keep him company through the migraine was more than Tim had hoped for. He couldn't stop the tears of both physical and emotional pain from rolling down his face. After several minutes spent in misery, holding it all inside; in a desperate attempt to ask for help, as much as he was capable at the moment, Tim reached out and snagged Gibbs' hand resting on his shoulder and hung on to it like the life preserver he needed to stay afloat.

After several long minutes of pained silence, borne both of the obvious physical pain the young man was experiencing, as well whatever it was he was suddenly trying to hide from Gibbs, the older man couldn't take it any longer. Watching his surrogate son silently cry without asking for help, beyond the hand on his shoulder, was too much.

"Talk to me. Is it easing up?"

"Yeah," Tim quietly answered without moving a muscle beyond what it took to use his mouth.

"Can you tell me what brought it on? What's going on in your head, Tim?" Gibbs' soothing request to be let in was all it took for Tim's resolve to crumble and let the door to his storm open wide.

"They won't leave me alone." Tim whispered tearfully.

"The memories?" Gibbs asked understandingly.

"Make 'em stop, Boss. I can't take it." The young man softly begged.

"I wish I could, Tim. Try thinking of good ones to replace the bad ones." The older man soothed.

"Don't think I can." Tim admitted in a whisper.

"You need to try." Gibbs persisted. "It may be the only way to get past this, Tim. Talk to me about the good times you had with your family."

Tim gingerly rolled to his back, hating to talk to Gibbs with his back turned to the man. "You sure you wanna hear this stuff?" Tim asked as his voice rose slightly above the whisper he'd been using. The pain behind his eyes had eased up some but not enough to make the effort to open them worth the gamble.

"Anything you wanna tell me, I'll listen to, gladly. Your parents, your sister, they were good people, Tim and I want you to be able to remember that, remember everything that was good about them, not this pain that's haunting you now." Gibbs directed him sympathetically.

"Thanks, Boss." The younger man somberly offered in return.

"Talk me through some of your good memories." Gibbs pushed him to keep going.

"I'm sorry." Tim said with guilt.

"What for?" Gibbs asked carefully.

"This had to be tough for you, staying with me because of what happened to my family, After..." Tim broke off and turned his head to the side. He felt fresh pain for how Gibbs must have felt haivng Tim's family tragedy shoved under his nose when he'd barely learned how to deal with his own.

"Tim. you need to listen to me.

"K" Tim said quietly

"You have nothing to apologise for. I appreciate that you're concerned about me. But, this isn't about me. It's about you. It's about helping you get through this."

"Boss, I..." Tim tried to get him to understand that how his boss was affected was affecting how he got through this.

"Tim. I'm fine with it. Please, trust me on this." Gibbs said.

"Didn't mean to make it worse for you, Boss." Tim said apologetically.

"We're good. Okay?" Gibbs promised

"Yeah. Thanks, Boss." Tim replied with gratitude.

"No problem. Now, still need to refresh what's hanging around in your head, so let me hear some memories." Gibbs directed calmly.

"Ok. I guess the one that stands out the most…"

Fifteen short minutes later, Gibbs had managed to coax enough good memories from Tim to relax the younger man away from the physical pain of his migraine and into peaceful slumber.


	22. Untold Truths

Once Tim had relaxed into sleep and settled into the couch, as his mind and body found the safe haven they'd needed once again, Gibbs slipped out of the room in search of Ducky. Finding the entire clan in his dining room, restlessly waiting for word that Tim was okay, he quickly set their minds at ease.

"He's asleep. Go sit with him. Keep him calm." Gibbs directed to the three younger ones he knew would be at Tim's side in record time. Looking at Ducky, he motioned toward the kitchen before heading in that direction. Making fresh coffee, Gibbs heard Tim's words in his mind again.

_"Don't leave me, please."_  
_"I'm sorry."_  
_"This had to be tough for you, staying with me because of what happened to my family, After...""_  
_Didn't mean to make it worse for you, Boss."_  
_"Thanks, Boss_

With everything Tim had been through, he was still trying to put everyone else first. Short of coming down on him for it, Gibbs didn't know what else to do about it. Since Tim had let him in on what was running through his mind and even hurting him, maybe all that was needed was for Gibbs to make sure Tim continued to let Gibbs in.

"Jethro? Did Timothy say something to upset you?" Ducky asked as he looked at the younger man lost in thought while his coffee was brewing.

"Not intentionally, Duck. As a matter of fact, he was trying to apologize 'cause he thought he'd brought Shannon and Kelly ..." Gibbs stopped. Ducky would know what he meant.

"Ah, I see. Was he correct?" Ducky asked in concern.

"Of course, Duck, but not anything that could be helped. Certainly not something he needs to hold himself responsible for." Gibbs answered quietly. "Didn't stop him from apologizing for possibly making it worse for me just by bringing it up, though."

"How did you manage? Ducky pushed gently.

"Told him we were good and that he had nothing to apologize for." Gibbs answered.

"True indeed." Ducky agreed.

"When's the last time he ate something, Duck?" Gibbs changed the subject.

"He managed to take in that supplemental shake before he got up. He's been up not even two hours, Jethro. Still, I suppose it's his body's lack of nutrition that heralded that nasty migraine." Ducky reasoned.

"Don't think it was, Ducky. At least not by itself. He said the memories were hurting him and I don't think he meant just in his heart."

"Yes, you're probably correct, Jethro. I suppose the poor lad will be in for more of these painful episodes until his mind is better able to cope with it all."

"Yeah, Duck, I know. That's why I pushed him to replace the ones he was hurting over with ones that brought back a smile to his face." Gibbs answered.

"Wise move, Jethro. Very wise, indeed. You look exhausted. While Timothy is sleeping and your house is full of people more than capable of looking after him, you should go get some rest, Jethro."

"I promised him I wasn't' leaving him, Duck." Gibbs said.

"And you're not. Rest assured, Timothy will understand your need for rest. We will not leave alone. Go on." Ducky pushed.

"Yeah. Okay, Duck. Look after him for me." Gibbs said as he headed out. "Gonna check on him again before I do, though."

"Of course, Jethro." Ducky said knowingly.

Gibbs walked into his living room to find his team all resting in one way or another. Tony, Ziva and Abby were all watching television, sitting on the floor up against the couch, apparently all feeling the need to be some sort of buffer for their teammate. Gibbs offered them a smile of appreciation, especially when he realized they had almost no volume going with which to watch it with. Checking on Tim, he was happy to see the young man was so out of it, he hadn't moved since Gibbs had left the room the first time. Crooking his finger at Tony, he headed back to the door way as he waited for Tony to catch up with him.

"Boss?" Tony asked quietly.

"I'm gonna hit the hay for a while, you're on watch while he's sleeping. Don't lose focus or get caught up in your show.

"I got it, Boss." Tony vowed.

"I know, Tony. But, you have to keep him calm. That migraine wasn't just due to hunger. He's got too much goin on in that head of his and he needs us to help him keep it together."

"Understood. I got this. We've got this. He'll be fine. Go catch your hay, boss." Tony said.

"Ducky's not goin anywhere, Tony. Tim wakes up, you hand him over to Ducky so he can make sure he eats." Gibbs instructed.

"Will do, Boss." Tony promised.

"Thanks, Tony." Gibbs patted him on the arm and left in search of Ducky. The fact that Tim hadn't moved a muscle in fifteen minutes had the boss worried.

As Gibbs left the room, Abby and Ziva came over to where Tony still stood.

"Tony? What's wrong?" Abby asked with concern.

"Nothing, Abbs, Gibbs is going to get some sleep. Looks like Tim's in our hands, at least until he wakes up." Tony said to both of them.

"I don't understand, Tony. He's out like a light. Why does it matter?" Abby asked in confusion.

"Abby, with everything McGee has been through it is surprising that he is sleeping as soundly as he is at the moment. I think Gibbs was probably advising us to watch for sleep disturbances, yes, Tony?" Ziva asked quietly.

"Yeah. That's exactly what the boss is worried about. Says Probie's migraine wasn't just from hunger. Kid's got so much goin' on in his head, he's gonna need help staying calm when his thoughts get kicking up on him like they do on a normal day." Tony reminded them.

"Right" Abby said.

"We're supposed to hand him over to Ducky when he wakes up. Ducky wants to make sure he eats as soon as he gets up." Tony advised.

"Okay. Well, let's pass the time with finding something better on the TV, then." Abby suggested with a grin as she snatched the remote from Tony's unsuspecting hand and danced over to the television.

Glaring at her in mock outrage, Tony reclaimed his seat where he could keep an eye on Tim while watching television.

************

"Duck." Gibbs broke into Ducky's thoughts as he came back into the kitchen.

"Jethro, I thought you were going to get some rest" the M.E. said in surprise.

"I am. Just had to talk to Tony. Duck, McGee hasn't moved a muscle in the fifteen minutes he's been out." Gibbs worried.

"Jethro, he's simply exhausted. Coming back to the land of the living after four days takes adjustment. Don't worry. I'll check on him now. Go on, get your rest." Ducky promised.

"Thanks, Duck." Gibbs said as he finally was able to head in the direction of his guest room and some shut-eye.

Three hours later found Gibbs blearily opening his eyes and feeling slightly disorientated. Giving himself a minute to find his cognitive functions and his equilibrium, he then located a change of clothes and headed up to the shower in his room. Some fifteen minutes later, feeling much better, Gibbs headed back downstairs to see how the team had fared without him.

Surprisingly enough, all of his team were sitting out on his back deck, enjoying the early evening breeze, in complete silence. As Gibbs stood in the doorway, silently looking them each over, he was surprised to see that they all seemed to actually be sleeping except Tim. Not knowing how long the young man had been alone surrounded by his team worried Gibbs. As he moved in the doorway, intending to turn and go back to the kitchen to see if they'd eaten anything, Tim's eyes met his and the young man offered a small smile of greeting and rose from his seat, obviously wanting to accompany Gibbs back into the house. With a look, Tim ordered Jethro to stay outside and closed the French doors as he followed Gibbs inside.

"You okay, Boss?" Tim asked in concern.

"Yeah, just needed to catch up on some sleep. You sleep okay?" Gibbs immediately turned it back on Tim's welfare.

"Yeah. Slept pretty well, actually. Guess your idea was exactly what I needed." Tim offered in a thankful voice.

"I'm glad." Gibbs said as they reached the kitchen and he busied himself fixing himself a fresh cup of coffee and pouring Tim a glass of milk and handing it to him with the look that said he was required to drink it down or else.

Tim accepted the milk with a smile of thanks and downed it like a man dying of thirst. As he rinsed his glass out, Gibbs asked him he needed more.

"No, Boss. that's about all I have room for right now." Tim promised.

Gibbs nodded in understanding and led the way back to the living room. As they settled into comfortable seats, Tim once again felt the urge to bring up what he'd overheard earlier.

"Boss, what is it you need to tell me?" Tim' cautionary tone softened any sharpness heard in the question.

"I'm not trying to hide anything from you, McGee. Just trying not to overload you." Gibbs said seriously.

"I know, Boss. But, I'd rather know what's going on." Tim said quietly.

"It's not pleasant." Gibbs warned.

"I already figured that out, Boss. Otherwise you wouldn't be worrying about whether or not to tell me yet." Tim advised his boss.

"Yeah, I figured you have that figured out." Gibbs rewarded him. "Have you eaten since you've been up?"

"Yeah, Ducky fixed me an omelet and I had enough appetite to eat it all. Along with a glass of milk." Tim said with a grin.

"Oh." Gibbs said with an 'oops' look on his face.

"Its okay, Boss. I appreciate it. Really."

Gibbs nodded his head in understanding.

"Boss, please, tell me what's going on." Tim pleaded.

Gibbs' phone interrupted them and snatching it out of his pocket, the older man bit out his customary greeting.

"Yeah. Gibbs!"

"Jethro, we need to talk." Jenny's voice grated on his nerves at this point and it took all he had to remain calm in front of Tim, who nothing of why Gibbs was so angry with the Director. Gibbs didn't want him to find out this way.

"I'll be in your office in 30." Gibbs replied shortly before snapping his phone shut.

"The Director?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, she wants to see me. I'm gonna take care of this. You gonna be okay til your loyal guard dogs wake up?" Gibbs asked with a grin in the direction of the sleeping team.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and go to bed, I'm still feeling pretty wiped out." Tim said quietly.

"Okay. I'm gonna let Ducky know I'm leaving, then head over to the yard, see what this is about. You call me if there's a problem." Gibbs quietly instructed.

Tim nodded and stood still until Gibbs was out on the back porch.

Gibbs quietly woke Tony, since he was easiest to wake up and knew Ducky was exhausted. It took a good two minutes before Tony budged.

"Tony, I'll be back. You're on guard duty." Gibbs told the younger man.

"Huh? Oh, Boss? Right. You're going out?" Tony quietly asked in surprise.

"The Director wants to talk to me. Tim's in the shower and then he's going to bed. I shouldn't' be long." the boss supplied.

"Yeah, Okay. We're good. Sorry about falling asleep on the job, Boss." Tony offered.

"He seems to be fine, Tony. Don't know how long he was alone with his thoughts before I got up." Gibbs said calmly. "I'll be back. Make sure you check on him later."

"Ok. Got it. Give her hell, Boss." Tony said with feeling.

Gibbs nodded at him in complete understanding and headed out.

Heading up to the squad room that used to be his home away from home, Gibbs was apprehensive. If she had any more bad news for him, he just might hurt a woman for the first time in his life. She'd inflicted enough damage to his team to last a life time. What the hell could she want with him anyway? He'd quit already. As the doors on the elevator opened up and he stepped out onto the floor, his eyes automatically went to his former desk and to those of his team. Sadness threatened to overwhelm him as the events of the last two weeks crashed back through his memories.

Shaking his head slightly in an effort to send those memories packing, Gibbs hit the stairs leading up to Jenny's office. Noticing there was no one else in the immediate vicinity or in Jenny's outer office, he knocked for a second and twisted her door handle, watching with a glimmer of satisfaction as her door snapped open hard enough to touch the wall and bounce part-way back on its' hinges.

"I see we're still angry." Jenny said with sarcasm.

"Don't. Don't waste my time. You wanted to talk. I'm here. So, talk." Gibbs bit out. After the week he'd had; after the week Tim had gone through; Gibbs was in no mood for this.

"I didn't ask for you to force this meeting. I simply said we needed to talk, Jethro." Jenny reminded him.

"Either way, I'm listening. What is it you think we need to talk about?" Gibbs demanded.

"I understand that you are still angry about Tim's job, Jethro. I explained my position already. I had no choice."

""Let's just agree to disagree on that. Tell me, that's not what we need to talk about!" Gibbs strongly suggested.

"No, of course not. We've covered that ground already. We need to talk about your team." Jenny told him.

"What about them?" he asked warily.

"They've been reinstated." Jenny said calmly.

"Come again?" he questioned in his 'don't mess with me' tone.

"Jethro, they still have a job to do and so do you." she declared.

"Funny thing about 'Retiring" Jen? You don't get reinstated against your will!" Gibbs bit out. "Same goes for my team! They quit, remember?"

"Jethro, we all know that you all handed in your badges in a show of solidarity for Tim. I get that. I understood, really. But, you can't seriously allow all of those agents to walk away from their careers over this! If you cared about them, you would talk some sense into them! Tell them to take their jobs back while they still can!"

"**Don't you dare **tell me I don't care about my team, Jen! It sure as hell hasn't been you standing by them while they helped Tim get through this past week; this nightmare. No, that's right you're contribution was to pull his job out from under him!" he supplied angrily

"Jethro," she patiently tried to get through even though he'd just hit below the belt.

"**Don't!" **he barked.

**"Don't you tell me I didn't do what I could to help that young man!** I took care of the funeral details and the travel arrangements so you wouldn't have to; so you could concentrate on taking care of him!" Jenny reminded him.

"Okay. I'll give you that." Gibbs admitted in a quieter octave.

"Thank you." she replied in a calmer voice.

"I will talk to my team. But, you have to know the decision's theirs to make. I won't push any of them." Gibbs offered.

****Click****

Jenny froze. Gibbs moved to the door and swung it open. Jenny's outer office door was closed! Someone had been up here! Rushing out to the stairs, Gibbs looked out over the balcony. No one in sight. Heading to the stairs, he pulled the door open and listened as he looked down over the railings. No one in sight and no footsteps on the stairs. He silently stood there listening. After a minute of not hearing anything he headed to back to Jenny's office.

"Pull the security footage." he directed her as he beckoned for her to join him on his way to MTAC. As they walked, he called Security. "Who came in to see the Director just now?" he demanded.

"No one, Sir. There's been no one signing in except you and The Director." the guard told him.

"See anyone in the parking lot?" Gibbs asked.

"No, Sir. Parking lot's empty." Gibbs snapped his phone shut angrily,

Jenny and Gibbs sat watching the security footage from her office for the last few minutes in shock. There was nothing there!

Gibbs' gut was churning. This smelled bad. Before he could process that thought, his phone rang.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Jethro, we have problem." Ducky advised him.

"What is it, Duck?" Gibbs asked, his gut now screaming at him that this was something big and bad.

"Boss, it's me, Tony. I checked on Tim after giving him time to get out of the shower and maybe have time to fall asleep..."

"Spit it out, DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked more out of fear than anger.

"Boss, Tim's gone!"


	23. Devastated Fumble

The next four hours were spent anxiously combing DC and Silver Springs for their missing teammate. In a rare show of desperate fear, Gibbs, instead of ranting, raving and shouting in anger, was quiet, too quiet. He and Abby were both eerily quiet, as fear enveloped them almost completely. Somehow, they managed to keep functioning through their emotional overload and contiued searching endlessly for Tim. As Ziva made what seemed like hundreds of phone calls, Tony called countless police precincts while Ducky, Abby and Gibbs drove everywhere searching for him

Three and a half hours into their frantic search, phone rang.

"Jethro, we have a problem..."

* * *

It had been a spur of the moment thing. Born from a thought that had entered Tim's mind and gotten tangled up in the countless other thoughts, worries, fears and hurts that were already in residence there. The thought had quickly latched on, front and center, to the first recognisible relative it had located; another thought on the same wavelength. This in turn, birthed the plan. Although it was a simple plan, it was a good one with purpose and good intentions, and required very little work, just three little steps, well, a mix of '3 Step Plans' actually, were required to pull it off.

The thing is, this plan worked. Everything had gone right. It had been textbook perfect. Every step was easy to follow:

1. Fix it so everyone thinks you're asleep for the night and lock the bedroom door.  
2. Be unnoticible as you hide.  
3, Tweak things so they show no evidence that would give you away.  
4, Listen to what it is you need to hear.  
5. Reclaim your hiding place.  
6. Return to your bed and no one will be any the wiser.

A simple plan that would achieve results. But, he hadn't counted on the one thing that would change the course of his actions along the way. In a split second of insanity, driven by the revelation he'd just become aware of and of the unexpected taunting him from the desk where h'd silently sat down to hear what could be heard; he made a hair-trigger, split second decision that will forever change the course of his life.

* * *

Gibbs' heart jumped up in his throat for the second time that night. As he raced back to NCIS, he called and directed Ducky to call the team back as well. With Jenny's discovery, a whole new world of terrible possibilities had just become something to worry about. The only hope was in getting to his agent before it was too late.

The only good to have come out of the last four hours was not entirely good. What was good about it was the confirmation that Tim had gone to NCIS. That in itsef wasn't the problem. No, the problem was Jenny's news, This was the very last thing they ever needed to have happen and Gibbs wasy royally pissed that it was due to negligence that it had happened. The repercussions of it would be devastating for Tim. Gibbs felt it in his gut, his agent wouldn't be able to get through this now. All their hard work on Tim's behalf, and even his own efforts to recover, would be for naught, now. All they could do now was hope and pray that somehow, they'd be able to save Tim from what he'd just subjected himself to. Somehow, Gibbs' gut was screaming that they were passed the 'too late' and now heading into rescuing the young man from himself.

Already enroute to NCIS. Gibbs' phone rang and he nervously answered it. At this point he could only hope it wasn't more bad news.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Agent Gibbs, this is Security Officer Miller in the NCIS building. We have a situation here with your Agent McGee. You really need to come in here." Officer Miller sounded upset and extremely nervous.

"I'll be there in ten. Don't lose sight of him!" Gibbs replied.

"I don't think he's going anywhere. Sir." Officer Miller said sadly.

Gibbs snapped his phone shut before he said something he'd regret. Breathing out a sigh of relief that Tim had been found, he called Ducky to get the communication chain going.

Fifteen long minutes had Gibbs racing to the room within NCIS where his missing agent had been found, with Jenny on his heels. Before reaching it, They were They brought up short by the man who had found Tim; Larry from the night cleaning crew

"Sir, Ma'am. You may wanna prepare yourself. He ain't lookin too good. It's like he's in a trance or something. Might have something to do with those files he's got strewn everywhere. The photos alone will make you sick to your stomach. Then there's that problem, too."

Gibbs' felt sick. That could only mean they were too late. Tim had read his family's case file. That meant every grisly detail, every photograph was by now burned into his mind. The memories that had plagued him before would pale in comparison to what his mind would do to him with all of this. The worst part about it was there was nothing they could do to help him with this.

Pulling himself together, Gibbs blew out a sigh and stepped into the room as Tony and Ziva arrived right behind him. Motioning for them to wait in the hall, he opened the door to the room, and felt his heart drop to his toes.

Huddled up on the floor in a corner, hugging his knees for all he was worth, sat one distraught Tim McGee. With his back up against the wall, he was steadily rocking himself as he stared sightlessly at the photos scattered on the floor in front of him. All the crime scene photos that had been taken as evidence in the deaths of his parents and his sister, would haunt him forever now. It was as bad as Gibbs had feared it to be.

As Gibbs carefully approached Tim, Jenny wordlessly picked the photos up off the floor and stuffed then back into the files as tears slipped down her face. This was her fault. She'd left the files on Cynthia's desk after her assistant had gone home. But, Jenny had been here alone and hadn't expected any company. The files were simply waiting to be put away, something she'd planned on doing before she went home for the night.

Taking out his cell, Gibbs quietly called Ducky and told him to get there ASAP. Quietly putting his phone away, Gibbs took a minute to really look Tim over. He was in shock, that much was obvious. The rocking, the vacant stare and the way he was sitting all gave testament to that. What they needed to know was if Tim was even aware of his surroundings. Crouching down in front of his agent, Gibbs softly spoke to him.

"Tim. It's Gibbs. Can you hear me?"

The young man slowly nodded his head in response to the voiced question. Gibbs breathed out a sigh of relief. He needed to get Tim off the floor but would Tim cooperate? he had to try. A voice inside his head warned him to wait for Ducky; to let the M.E. handle this, but Gibbs' parental lion was silently roaring and the pain he felt for the man in front of him wouldn't allow him to just leave him the way he was any longer than he had to.

"Tim, can you stand up for me?" Gibbs was careful to keep his voice soft and soothing

The rocking stopped. For some reason, that sent a shiver of worry down Gibbs' spine. Desperately, he tried again.

"It's okay, Tim. You don't have to get up if you don't want to."

What happened next was so totatally unexpected, it shocked the hell out of both Gibbs and Jenny. In a blur of motion, Tim not only got up off the floor, but he launched himself at Gibbs in a frenzy of anger and pain, hitting him over and over again in the chest and arms, screaming out his pain as he landed blow after blow.

Gibbs took it, wrapping his hands around Tim's arms and holding on for the ride through this heartbreaking storm.

Tony opened the door in a desperate need to see that everyone in the room was okay. What he saw floored him. Taking two steps into the room, with Ziva on his heels, Tony was intent on stopping Tim from hurting Gibbs.

"Tony!" Jenny hissed at him and stepped into his path.

Brought up short by the Director, Tony turned angry eyes on the woman who was stopping him from getting to his troubled teammate.

"No! Let GIbbs handle it!" Jenny hissed in a desperate attempt to keep her voice down. As Tony and Ziva attempted to out stare her and do things their way, to get Tim off of Gibbs and wrapped in the supportive arms of his team, Jenny gently pushed them back toward the door.

"You have to let Gibbs handle this. You'll only confuse Tim if you rush in there." She said once they were back out in the hall and she'd closed the door.

"He's hurting Gibbs! You're just gonna let him do that?" Tony asked in outrage.

"Tony, do you fully understand what's going on in there? Jenny asked.

"Yes, Director, I do. Tim found his family's case file and his mind couldn't handle what it saw. He's flipping out. I'm not joking or laughing about it. I know he's in serious crisis right now. I don't wanna hurt him, Jenny. I wanna help him. I want him to stop hurting Gibbs and let us help him instead.

"Anthony, if Timothy is lashing out physically, it is the only way his mind is able to cope at the moment. I trust Jethro is firmly standing still for it all?" Ducky asked as he arrived.

"Yeah, Duck. He's just standing there taking it." Tony said with concern.

"Don't worry, Anthony, Jethro will take care of Timothy." Ducky said.

"I know that, Ducky. But, who's taking care of Gibbs while Probie beats the hell out of him?" Tony's concern was understandable.

"Jethro won't allow himself to be incapacitated by Timothy. Trust him." Ducky patted Tony on the arm and quietly slipped into the room to see for himself exactly what was going on.

Tim's storm had raged for a mere three minutes before it blew itself out and when it did, it left a trembling, sobbing, grieving young man in its' wake. Gibbs held him tight, as tighly as he would have held Kelly if she'd ever been in emotional pain. As he held the young man, he whispered soothing words to him, in an effort to calm Tim's inner turmoil as well as his nerves.

Such was the scene Ducky walked into; the calm after the storm. Standing silenly by as Jethro held and soothed the lost soul before him. Ducky felt tears come to his eyes. Life was just so unfair at times. How much more could this young man take? How much more could Jethro handle?"

Once he'd lashed out at Gibbs and allowed the storm within him to rage out of control, Tim fetl drained and separated from his body, like someone else was controlling him physically while his mind had already wandered off into unknown territory and had gotten lost in the black hole it had discovered. The only problem was, this black hole held painful pieces of his life in front of him, dangling, taunting him, daring him to be able to get out of its' depths.

Unaware of the pain he'd just inflicted on his boss and unaware he was even crying or holding on to the man with the strength of a desperate, drowning man. Tim didn't even realize when he'd been helped out of that room and down to the car, gently helped into the car, or that he was now sitting wrapped in Gibbs' arms in the back seat, as Ducky drove them back to Gibbs' house. Tim wasn't even aware as he was helped from the car, back into the house, and back to bed. All he knew was that his human anchor had yet to let go of him and yet Tim couldn't let go of his grip. His mind barely registered the prick he felt just before the darkness claimed him and he blissfully felt nothing.

Gibbs smoothed the hair back from Tim's forehead as the young man finally drifted off to sleep, still wrapped in Gibbs' arms, only now releasing his grip on Gibbs' arms. As Ducky covered Tim with a blanket and held out pain meds to Gibbs for the physical beat he'd just taken from Tim, Gibbs shook his head.

"Jethro, I know you want to be here for him, but to do that, you must take care of yourself." Ducky quietly admonished him.

"Duck. I'm okay. Go make sure my team is." Gibbs requested in the tone that showed Ducky how upset he was that he couldn't take care of all of them right now. Gibbs knew his team was shaken. He was worried about Tony and Ziva seeing Tim in that state, hearing Tim's screams and the beating Tim had unleashed on him. Was Ziva okay? Sure, she'd lived through much tougher situations. And Tony; he had to be upset.

But, hearing and seeing one of the most unflappable, calm, gentle people they knew go completely off on his boss, would undoubtedly have affected both of them. Gibbs just hoped they'dd be able to wrap their heads around it without too much trouble. As Ducky turned to leave, he set the monitor back up and glared at Jethro, daring him to argue the point.

"No, Duck. not this time. I've got this. If I need help, I'll call you." Gibbs told him as he set his phone down on the table in place of the monitor. "Go talk to Ziva, please. Make sure she's okay. Tony too. Check on Abby"

"Jetrho, I know you're worried about them, just as they are worried about you." Ducky reminded him.

"Duck. Tell them I'm fine. You and both know he'll be having nightmares from what he saw and read tonight. I'm not leaving him to that." Gibbs answered calmly.

"No, of course not, Jethro. I'm leaving your pain meds where you can reach them. Do take care not to make whatever injuries you have, worse." Ducky reminded him .

"Tell them to come up here if they wanna talk. I'm here for them." Gibbs quietly vowed.

"They know, Jethro, however, I will remind them again." Ducky said as he left, closing the door behind him as he went.

Sure enough, it wasn't but thirty minutes before Tim began to wimper and thrash in his sleep. Gibbs wrapped his arms around the young man more securely and softly spoke in his ear, of everything being okay and him not being alone. Repeatedly until Tim's sleep covered mind registered it. It wasn't long before Tim calmed down and settled back into peaceful sleep.

With the first round of nightmares over, Gibbs breathed out a sigh of relief, lay his head back against the wall, closed his eyes drifted off to sleep.


	24. Unforgiven

Waking from the drugged sleep, wrapped in his boss' arms from where he'd obviously helped him find peace in his sleep., Tim felt a moment of confusion. _What had happened now? Had he already gotten through the need to be helped through the nightmares? What nightmares? Why didn't he remember them this morning?_

Gently extracating himself from Gibbs' arms, he took his time gently getting off the bed in an attempt to keep from disturbing Gibbs. Slipping out of the bedroom, Tim used the guest bathroom and then took himself down to the kitchen, passing the guest bedroom along the way. Curiously enough, Jethro was nowhere to be found.

Needing some idea of what was going on, Tim silently peeked into the guest bedroom, started to find Ducky slumbering away. Why was Ducky here? Who else was here? Steathily, he slipped through the house; his slippered feet noiseless on the floor. He found Tony crashed out on Gibbs' couch, but no sign of Ziva or Abby. Silently, he headed into the kitchen to make a pot of fresh coffee. He was too wired to sleep and not ready to think without some caffeine running through his veins. Deliberately, he set about busying himself with mundane things that kept him just busy enough to avoid thinking. Straightening up the kitchen, sweeping the floor, quietly emptying the drainer of its' clean dishes, wiping down the table, _wait a minute' what's this?_

The folder on the table drew Tim's attention and as he forced himself to wait until he'd fixed his coffee, he glanced at his watch; 2:30 AM. Good, he wouldn't be disturbed for quite a while yet. Picking the file up, he carried it and his coffee to the dining room and shut the door behind him. Sitting down at the table in a chair where he could see the door, Tim took a steadying breath, drank some of his coffee, set the cup down, and opened the file; his eyes skimming over the page; pieces of it jumping out at him:

_**Incident Report**_

_Four hours were spent searching for Former NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee after it had been discovered he had disappeared from Former NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs' home in the midst of a personal crisis._

_Former NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee was found in the NCIS building four hours after he was reported missing._

_Former NCIS Special Agent Jethro Gibbs attempted to calm a near catatonic former NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee when he had been located. _

_attacked_

_Injuries_

_beating_

_punching_

_screaming_

_Former NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo attemtped to intervene._

_NCIS Director Shepard stopped him for fear of making the bad situation worse._

_NCIS Special Agent Ziva David also attempted to intervene and wa also stopped._

_Former NCIS SPecial Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs refused to be taken to the E.R. allowing NCIS Medical Examiner Doctor Donald Mallard to agree to look after his injuries._

_Former NCIS Special Agent Gibbs also adamantly refused to press charges against Former NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee; stating extenuating circumstances and deep personal grief had brought about the incident and no harm had been intended on Former Special Agent Timothy McGee's behalf. _

_Former NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs further demanded that no one else file charges against Former NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee for this incident._

_It is unclear at this time what injuries Former NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs sustained in this incident, however he has stated he will not be holding NCIS responsible for any injuries he has susstained._

_

* * *

_

Dropping the file as if it had scalded him, Tim leapt to his feet, tears pouring down his face unaware,

_What had he done? He'd hurt Gibbs? _

Pacing, his feet driven mindlessly by the horrible reality that was coming back to him now in vivid colored snapshots; those 'quick film cuts' Sara had once described to Gibbs.

_Sarah!  
Mom!  
Dad!_

Memories of the files he'd forced himself to read through last night came back into focus now, so sharp it physically hurt. Pain, lanced through him, driving him to his knees, and it was all he could do not to cry out. Forcing himself to work on calming down, he fought to bring his breathing back under control.

Once he could breathe normal, he picked himself up off the floor and sat back down at the table, away from the file that had started this domino effect. What should he do? _He couldn't face Gibbs; couldn't face any of them! They all must hate him for hurting Gibbs! What the hell had he been thinkin'? What the hell was wrong with him?_

Even after he'd apparently screamed at him and beat up on him, Gibbs defended him, took him home, and helped him get through any nightmares he might have had? After all that, he couldn't possibly want to have to deal with Tim in the light of day. Then again, Tim refused to just disappear on him again and he deeply regretted the way he'd handled it last night.

He felt so bad about the way things had turned out because of the choices he'd made. The whole team had done nothing but bend over backwards and be there for him through this whole nightmare. And this is how he repaid them? He knew there was no way any of them would want to even see him now, much less talk to him

* * *

Gibbs' senses crashed through his peaceful slumber, hitting him over the head with the reality that something was wrong. Opening his eyes, he found the first sign that something was, in fact very wrong, to be that Tim was no longer sleeping or even in bed. Looking at his watch, he was surprised to find that it was only 6:: AM. Getting up as quickly as his aching bones and painful ribs would allow, Gibbs made his way downstairs to see what else he could find out.

Passing the guest bedroom, Gibbs peeked in, finding Ducky still sleeping, slipped back out and heading down to the kitchen, he sniffed gratefully, smelling the fresh coffee someone had so nicely already started. Forcing himself to wait on the coffee, he first wanted to locate Tim. Passing the kitchen, he headed into the living room, where Tony was still peacefully sleeping.

Checking the back porch through the doors, he found no sign of Tim. He double checked the lock on the porch doors and headed back through the house, to the front door. Finding it locked, he felt a little encouraged. At last, he headed to the kitchen, poured himself a cup of much needed coffee and headed to the basement to see if Tim was just hiding out. When it became obvious he wasn't hiding in the basement, Gibbs began to take his gut's screaming more seriously. Hurrying back up the stairs, he took hismelf back to the front door, heading out to look in the yard, on the front porch, everywhre he could. Tim had to be here, somewhere! Surely, he wouldn't pull another disappearing act on him? Only if he wasn't thinking straight. And Gibbs knew that it was a real possiblity that the young man wasn't thinking straight; in fact, it was a real likelyhood.

Quickly, he covered the cars in the driveway, the backyard and up and down the street at a glance. There was no sign of Tim anywhere. Back inside, he took himself to the dining room to stop and sit down and think. Seeing the file on the table raised Gibbs' red flag. Gathering the scattered contents of the file from the table and the floor, he read what Tim obviously had discovered. The Incident Report from last night. Oh, No! Damn it!

Opening the file to put everything back in it, he found something that sent both relief and fear running through him.

_Boss:_

_Words can never take back what I obviously did to you last night_  
_I can't expect you to forgive me because_  
_I can never forgive myself_  
_I know the team will never be able to forgive me_  
_and I can't say I blame them_

_You've done everything for me_  
_helped me through everything even while_  
_holding your own pain in._  
_I tried to apologise for it_  
_but I know that it was too little too late_

_I can't face any of you after what I've done_  
_But I couldn't just disappear._  
_I'm so very sorry I chose to do that last night._  
_I won't try to excuse the way I handled things._  
_there is no excuse_

_I am so very very sorry._  
_Please don't worry about me._  
_I'll be okay._  
_I beg you, don't let the team spend any more time worrying or looking for me_  
_I need some space and time to think._

_I promise you I'll call you._  
_You all have done so much for me_  
_I'm so terribly sorry that this is how I repaid you._  
_Maybe one day the team will be able to find it in their hearts to forgive me_  
_I can only hope and pray that one day, you will too._

_Respectfully,_

_Tim_

_P.S. Please tell them to take their jobs back._  
_I dont' want to be responsible for those, too._

* * *

Gibbs wiped away the tear that had started to roll down his face. Tucking the note into his shirt pocket, he gathered up the file and put it away on the curio shelf behind him and headed back to the kitchen for more coffee. He wanted desperately to track wehre Tim had gone, but he knew that Tim was as smart at disappearing as the bad guys they'd learned from as they'd had to find the and catch them on the job. Rather than force Tim into doing something dangerous or stupid just to stay off thier radar, Gibbs made the hard choice to honor Tim's request.

Maybe, this time alone would help him. It was obvious the young man had an awful lot on his mind now, From Gibbs' estimation, Tim now knew everything they hadn't been able to tell him before his sister's funeral. And, it had happened in a worse way than Gibbs had even feared. Yet, Tim was thinking rationally enough to write a long apology and promise he'd stay in touch. That in itself was a great sign.

"Jethro?" Ducky's questioning voice broke through Gibbs' thoughts.

"Mornin', Duck."

"How did you sleep? I assume Timothy's still sleeping?" Ducky asked.

"Hey, Boss." Tony pitched in from behind Ducky.

"He's not sleeping, Duck. He's gone."


	25. Understanding

"Gone?" Ducky's shock was heart breaking after everything the man had done for Tim  
"Why the hell..." Tony's anger was undestandable if one remembered that he wasn't aware that Tim knew what he'd done and his guilt was eating him alive.

"Here." Gibbs said as he held up the note Tim had left him."Before you decide you need to tear him to pieces, Tony, you should know he's already doing it to himself."

Handing the note over to a now worried Ducky and Tony, he turned back to making himself a fresh cup of coffee.

"Oh, dear heavens!" Ducky's eyes misted over as he read proof that Timothy's return to rational thinking was having painful repercussions.

"We're gonna go find him, right?" Tony asked knowingly. All traces of anger were gone from his tone. Tony's eyes showed he ws genuinely concerned.

"No." Gibbs answered calmly; much more calmly than he felt.

"Why the hell not?" Tony asked, abject disbelief and a rising worry causing him to forget who he was talking to, for a second.

Gibbs raised his eyebrow, but let it go. "Think about it Tony. All the things the dirtbags have taught us about making thiemselves almost untraceable. Who do we always ask to find their trail?"

"Doesn't mean we can't do it. Sure Tim does it most of the time, but..." Tony answered defensively

"You're not thinking like someone who wants to be left alone, Tony." Gibbs reminded him.

"Oh. Oh! Right. Probie wants to be left alone and he's practically an expert at how to find someone so he'd know what not to do to be found. So, we're just gonna leave him alone?" Tony asked in surprise.

"We need to respect his wishes, Anthony." Ducky supplied. "We all know how sensitive Timothy is when he's done something he considers terribly wrong. In this case, he's described what he's done as unforgivable. Timothy believes that. He is not prepared to face any of us at the moment and to push him to do so would be worse than letting him be."

"But..." Tony tried to figure this out.

"Tony, you wanna send him over the edge he's standing on right now?" Gibbs asked seriously.

"Course not! Doesn't mean I wanna leave standing on it alone, either!" Tony exclaimed.

"I know, Tony. I didn't mean we wouldn't make sure he's okay. But, Ducky's right, if he feels pushed to be left alone, he might wind up doing something stupid."

"I'm more worried that Abby's premonition is gonna turn out to come true, Boss." Tony admitted quietly.

"Yeah, That's why we're gonna do what we can to locate him. Watch out for him, from a distance." Gibbs offered.

"Okay. Good."

"Go get Abby and Jethro." Gibbs requested. "Call Ziva, get her back here. Don't say a word about Tim's leaving to them. Stop and get breakfast" as he handed Tony some money, he patted the agent on the back and waited for him to accept the plan

"Okay." Tony took the money and headed out.

"Jethro, you do realize that instructing Anthony not to say anything about this will be a challenge for him." Ducky admonished.

"Yeah, Duck. But, I don't want any of them to let their feeling to get in the way of them understanding of what's going on with Tim. Right now, they're all pissed at him and they need to get over that before they can move on to doing what's best for him. Another reason we need to leave him alone for now."

"Quite Right. Although, I fear Anthony is right to be worried about Abigail's fear. I do hope we locate him before it becomes a reality, Jethro." the M.E.'s worry was shared by Gibbs.

Silence ruled for a time as both men were lost in thier thoughts of how to find Tim without spooking him or being too late to help him. With a sudden flash of hope, Gibbs reached a decision that would hopefully accomplish both. Pulling his phone out, he typed out a text message:

_need to know you're okay._  
_not unforgivable_  
_Gibbs_

Hitting the send button actually sent a flash of relief through Gibbs. Granted, he'd feel much better after hearing back from the young man, but this was hopefully what they needed to set all their minds at ease and to let Tim know he was being harder on himself than they were.

While they waited for the team to arrive, Ducky fixed fresh coffee and tea while Gibbs headed to the shower. As the team convened in Gibbs' dining room, he came in and pulled the file from the cabinet and tossed it on the table where they all silently sat.

"Someone left this out last night." he told them all. "Not really a big deal, unless you count the fact that Tim found it. How did it even get here?"

**"What?" **Ziva was obviously upset at this development

**"Oh, My God!** Abby cried. "I left it on the table after Director Sheperd dropped it off last night. I was on my way out with Jethro when she showed up. I was tired and without thinking, I just tossed it on your kitchen table. I figured you'd be the first one up, so..."

"Wait, you figured Gibbs would be the first one up? After the beating he took last night?" Tony asked in surprise.

"Hey! DiNozzo, focus!" Gibbs reined him back in. "It's okay, Abbs. What's done is done. Let it go. The important thing we need to focus on now is this." Gibbs nodded at Ducky who handed the letter to the ladies and let them read it for themselves.

"Oh, No!" Abby cried as she put her head in her hands and cried.

"Gibbs, we are going to look for him, yes?" Ziva asked in a tone that suggested she wasn't asking at all.

"No." Gibbs' answer seemed to resound through the room like a foghorn.

"What? Wait a minute! Why not?" Abby picked her head up and demanded through her tears.

Gibbs nodded at Tony. He needed the younger man to explain it to the ladies so that all three of them would get it.

"Because Abby, Probie's already beating himself up over this and he obviously thinks we want to. He needs time to pull himself together. And we need time, too. Time to stop being pissed at him." Tony answered.

"Maybe you do, Tony. But, I don't! Why are you pissed at him, anyway? Can't you see Gibbs was never pissed at him and if anyone has the right to be, it's him!" Abby exclaimed.

"Just because Gibbs let it go, doesn't mean he wasnt' pissed about it." Tony defended himself.

Abby looked to Gibbs, silently asking him to speak his peace on the subject.

"No, I wasnt'. I had no right to be." Gibbs answered calmly as he looked to Ducky in silent understanding of what had happened to Timothy and the young man's inability to cope with it.

"What? Why the hell not?" Tony exploded, again forgetting who he was talking to.

Gibbs glared at him for a deliberately uncomfortable minute.

"Unless we were in his head last night, not one of us can dictate what was right or wrong about what happened." Ziva surprisingly answered for him.

"Huh?" Tony asked

"His family. Their murders. The photos, the facts, all of that was in those files he found and read through, yes?" Ziva pushed.

"That's part of it. He also overheard Jenny and I talking, which is the whole reason he snuck outta here last night, I think. He wanted to know what was going on that he wasnt' being told He figured we wouldn't tell him becuase we thought he couldn't handle it" Gibbs added."

"Looks like we were right about that," Abby said sadly.

"What did he overhear?" Tony asked.

"It's in his note. Read the P.S." Gibbs reminded him.

"Our jobs?" So, he also found out that we quit because he got fired?" Abby asked.

"Jenny asked me last night to have you guys accept your jobs back." Gibbs admitted.

"No wonder he lost it." Tony said.

"No, Anthony, he 'lost it' becuase of the graphic details and vivid photos of what happened to his family. However, he is unwilling to face the lot of you because of your jobs compounded with the sacrifices you have all made for him in the last two weeks. Now he must also deal with your anger from what he did last night. It is too much for him. After all, he is still very much grieving for his family."

"Okay, We need to make sure he's okay without backing him into any corner. He needs time alone and we're gonna give him that. But, we're also gonna keep an eye on him, from a distance, make sure he's taking care of himself." Gibbs declared.

"So, what is the plan?" Ziva asked.

"Abby, get on his electronic trail, if there is one. Zvia, Tony, work out a BOLO that won't get him arrested or spooked. Then go check his usual haunts. I'll go check out his apartment and Jethro will stay here until Tim comes back. "Duck, can you stay til I get back? if he calls, you talk to him. Oh, and all of you, think about taking your jobs back. Not only has the Director been given orders to let you have them back, but the guilt of your quitting is tearing Tim apart."

"Told you he'd hate it, if you quit, Boss." Tony reminded him.

"I didn't quit, I retired." Gibbs corrected him.

"Again." Abby said tearfully.

"I'll think about it." Gibbs said. "Any way you slice it, I'm not leaving. We're all Tim has left and I'm not letting him think I'm abandoning him."

As Gibbs left the room, the others all stared after his retreating form. He had a point. They were all Tim had left and that alone was enough to send him into the tailspin he'd been stuck in.

Gibbs came back in with a smile on his face as he held up his phone. As he pushed a button on his phone, Tim's voice filled the air:

"Boss."  
"I'm okay. But I need to be alone. Please don't worry. I promse I'll check in with you."


	26. More Unwavering Support

Tim McGee could never remember a time in his entire life when he'd felt so alone and worthless as he did right now. The only thing keeping him going right now was a team of people he couldn't even call his coworkers anymore. He'd screwed that up; if only he'd gone to Gibbs when the Car Rental Agency had first called him about Sarah not picking up the car. Things probably wouldn't have turned out bad for any of them. Hell, even his parents and Sarah would still be alive! He couldn't do anything right and his screw-ups always cost someone their life. This time, the human toll was too high. Hell, any innocent life lost was too high a cost Right now,

As he lay there, in the hotel bed, where he'd gone to try to catch some more sleep and think things through, he couldn't seem to stop his mind from going back to his record of people dying because of choices he'd made. His track record went as far back as Pacci's death. The deceased agent had asked Tim to get him a file and although Tim had done his best, given his entire day to the task; it had taken too long. That fact was borne out by Pacci's death on account of that case; the file that he hadn't been able to get a hold of.

It was soon joined by another one; identical in nature; this one with Erin's name engraved on it. Yeah, that first case that Gibbs had entrusted to him cost that sweet innocent young girl her life because Tim McGee screwed-up. The fact that Gibbs never said anything to him about it either way confirmed that in his heart ages ago. The bubble of blame and worthlessness resurfaced.

A third bubble of identical emotion surfaced alongside the other two, this one clearly had Kate's name etched in the surface. Ari had taken his first shot at Tim and missed. The fact that Tim had moved at the last second, causing the assassin to miss him, was the only reason the bastard had turned his sights onto the rooftop; to Kate. No one could ever convince him that that didn't equal blame. Not quite a genuine screw-up, grant you; but responsibility still the same.

Soon, other identical bubbles long simmering in the depths of his soul, now rose to the surface to join the others, Paula, Benedict and now Mom, Dad, Heather, Allison and last but certainly, not least, Sarah. The sheer number of them was beginning to feel suffocating; indeed he was finding it hard to breathe.

Tim couldn't help but wonder if this was how serial killers felt when they'd killed as many people as he was responsible for. The emotional pain of it all was beginning to manifest itself into physical pain so strong he felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest.

On auto-pilot, he dug out his phone, panting hard through the pain as he opened it and hit a button, not even sure who he'd called. As he lay on the hotel bed with the phone now laying beside him, he didn't fight the tears of pain or the verbal expressions of it that escaped his lips.

* * *

Four hour had passed since the team had first gathered at Gibbs' house to discuss what was going on with Tim. Since they'd received his voicemail, they'd left him alone. He'd obviously kept his word to stay in touch and that was good enough for them, for now. They had other things to concern themselves with, such as their jobs.

That discussion; once it had been brought about, was lively and well rounded, with all of them weighing in to the discussion. All of them had decided that it was best for all of them if they accepted their jobs back. The distinct possibility that it would help them to better help Tim heal was front and center on all of their minds as they made their decisions. While they were wrapping up the discussion, Gibbs' phone rang. As he looked at the caller i.d. he smiled and snapped his fingers for peace and quiet. Putting his phone on speaker phone for all of their benefit, he spoke the Agent's name in a hopeful tone.

_"Tim?"_

The young man's next words shocked them all.

* * *

"B...ss...Hlp…me." Tim's croaked words were loaded with pain and Ducky immediately got up out of his chair and approached the phone.

_"Where are you?" _Gibbs asked with deep concern_._

"Hold...In... 10th...av...hlp...me…can't…br…th...." Tim gasped out through the pain.

_"Okay, Tim. help's on the way, son. What room #?" Gibbs tried to remain calm as his eyes flew to Ducky for help as well as the rest of them, silently begging them to get moving finding him and getting him the help he needed._

_As Tony immediately yanked out his phone to call for medics, Ziva likewise pulled her phone out and called information for the hotel front desk and then proceeded to demand that the hotel send any medical personnel they had on staff or staying there, to Tim's room._

"1...10...can't…br...the…"

Ducky took the phone from Jethro to speak directly to the panicked young man on the other end as Gibbs watched and listened helplessly.

_"Timothy, While help is on the way, you must calm yourself. Concentrate on slowly breathing in and then out. Slowly breathe in and then slowly let it out. Slowly breathe in and then slowly let it out. Continue doing this so breathing will become less painful for you. Just listen to my voice and do as I'm saying_."

Tim's brain seemed to work on its' own to do what Ducky's voice was telling it to do even over the phone. Without recollection of how or why, Tim was suddenly breathing easier even though the pain hadn't lost its grip on his chest. Suddenly, feeling as though he'd been thrust into a cloud, he found himself, seemingly from behind the cloud that was now hanging over his head; he was surrounded by medical staff from the hotel.

It seemed like forever before the anxious team on the other end of the phone was given what they needed; a voice on Timothy's end reassuring them that Timothy was in fact breathing easier and was now being looked after by the hotel medical team.

* * *

One nerve racking hour later, the team sat together in the waiting room while Ducky went in search of answers as to what had happened to their comrade. When he did return some thirty minutes later, it was with a hospital Doctor in tow. Both men approached Gibbs looking grim, which did nothing good for the team's worry meter.

"Jethro, this is Dr. Chambers, who has been taking care of Timothy since he arrived." Ducky explained.

"Agent Gibbs, Mr. McGee suffered a minor heart attack. While it is uncommon in someone his age, it is not completely unheard of. Dr. Mallard has explained Mr. McGee's situation to me and it certainly makes it more plausible given everything."

"He's gonna be okay?" Gibbs asked.

"He'll be fine, with monitoring and plenty of stress-free bed rest for at least a week. The probability that this was stress induced is fairly certain, however, we do want to run some tests and monitor his heart for at least 24 hours to be sure there'll be no repeat occurrence."

"No offense, Doc, but making him stay here will do more harm than good. He hates hospitals. He needs to be with us. We're all he's got left." Tony said. "Between all of us, especially with Ducky here, he'll be better off. Especially with the stuff you guys try to pass off as food around here."

The doctor smiled at that and began to hash out what it would take for Tim to be able to go home with them instead of having to stay in the hospital. "There has to be strict adherence to this recovery plan or you will jeopardize his recovery. He must stay in bed. Even trips to the bathroom must be minimal. Do you have a wheelchair he can use to make those trips? That would certainly cut down on the stress level to his heart."

"We'll take care of it. If you'll go over everything with Ducky, we'll take care of the rest." Gibbs vowed. "Is he awake? I don't' want him left alone. He needs to know we're here for him."

"He may have woken up by now. Remember, no stress."

"Guys, the only one he's not worried about talking to right now is Gibbs. We should wait till he's stronger, till he believes we're not upset with him." Abby reminded them.

Gibbs kissed her cheek and headed to Tim's Room. The doctor looked at them in silent question and out of respect for Tim's health; they told him what they were dealing with. They wanted to fix it without sacrificing Tim's health and knew that both doctors weighing in on how to fix it would definitely be in everyone's best interests.

From the doorway to Tim's hospital room, Gibbs looked at his agent. He supposed he would always think of Tim that way. Now, with no family of his own, the older man couldn't help but think of Tim as his own to protect. It was without a doubt, true that he had no intention of turning this young man out to have to survive on his own with no one looking out for him or being there for him. That was not happening.

As he stood silently contemplating the trials and pain this young man had just come through and even those still left for him to get through, Tim's eyes fluttered open and his face became a mask of pain as reality crashed down on him. Quickly, Gibbs reached the bed and laid a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder.

"Relax, Tim. It's okay. Just lie still and let yourself wake up slowly." Gibbs soothed quietly.

"Boss?" Tim whispered.

"Yeah, Bud, I'm here." The soft words worked wonders at calming Tim's rising panic and he found himself suddenly feeling safe.

"Why?" Tim asked as his eyes struggled to stay open.

"Because you needed help, Tim. You had a heart attack." the boss told him gently.

"Not..wh..I mean." Tim whispered as exhaustion began to pull him under once again.

"None of us are leaving you. We're family, Tim." The older man reminded him without changing his tone or removing his comfoting hand from Tim's shoulder.

Tim's last whispered words floated through the air as exhaustion finally accepted him back into its' fold.

"Thanks. Boss."


	27. At Peace Among Family

A/N : Special Thanks to my Beta and co-author, Shelbylou.  
Also want to thank all my readers and reviewers. I appreciate every one of you.

* * *

At Ducky's insistence, Tim spent the two days in hospital as Doctor Chambers had requested. He had been working closely with the Doctor and the nurses that would be on duty for Tim and had ensured that Tim could have whatever his team brought him in to eat in place of the dreaded hospital food. He had put his foot down and refused to accept arguments to the contrary, after all, Timothy needed to be tested and monitored to ensure his heart was healthy and had only suffered the attack because of the stress. His relative young age precipitated such caution and after the team understood the reason for Ducky's caution, they backed his decision.

Gibbs had a quiet talk with the team and it was decided to minimize Tim's stress by keeping any and all discussions about what had happened away from him. Ziva, Abby and Tony decided to spend their time helping by getting Gibbs' house ready for their teammate's long term stay. They moved his furniture; mainly his bed and couch, into Gibbs' house. They also set Tim's computer up in Gibbs' dining room and set Tim's TV up in what had become his room.

The girls stocked Gibbs' cupboards and fridge with things they all knew both guys liked. Abby and Ziva also took care to make sure Tim had enough clothes, washing what needed to be cleaned and going out to buy what he needed. They knew Tim had skimped on his need for things, too wrapped up in what his family needed and had ignored the need to do right by himself. They also knew with no job, he'd never do this for himself.

All three of them sent their best wishes and regards through Ducky and Gibbs, who traded off staying with Tim. Until he was out of the woods, no one was willing to push him to talk to them. Ducky promised that he'd let Tim know that none of them were angry with him about anything that had happened and all of them were ready to be there for him when he was ready for them. In a very discouraging turn of events, Tim had accepted Ducky's words and had sent his appreciation, but had left it at that.

It had taken both Gibbs and Ducky talking to the team, for them to understand that Tim needed to see and feel their forgiveness before he would be comfortable forgiving himself or believing they had forgiven him. It wouldn't happen while he was in the hospital. They would have to be patient and give him the time and space he needed. Their hard work getting Tim's things moved was greatly appreciated with a rare but genuine smile and a heartfelt 'Thank you' from Gibbs. Three long days a fter the near fatal heart attack, Tim was released – conditionally - into the care of Gibbs and Ducky.

He was settled into Gibbs' room at the insistence of his boss. Gibbs' only argument was that it would be easier for Tim to stay there; at least until he could do away with the wheelchair to get to the bathroom. It didn't take long after getting Tim settled, before he dropped off to sleep, he was so grateful to be in a real bed, he actually let out a huge sigh of contentment as he slipped into slumber. When he awoke from his three hour nap, Abby was sitting in the armchair by the window, watching him with concern. As he shifted in the bed and attempted to sit up, she was immediately by his side,hands on his shoulders, preventing him from sitting up.

"Tim, relax. Lie still."

"Abby, I'm okay. Really, I need to sit up." He told her quietly.

"Okay, but go slow."

"Abby, I'm okay, honestly."

"If you were okay, the doc wouldn't have said bed rest for a week and a wheelchair for bathroom trips." Abby reminded him.

"Strictly a precaution, Abby. How are you?" Tim swiftly changed the subject.

"I'm okay now that you're okay." she told him honestly. "You scared the hell outta all of us."

"I'm sorry." Tim admitted.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. You didn't give yourself the heart attack." Abby reminded him.

"I'm not so sure about that, Abby."

"Whattaya mean?" she asked with worry.

"I'd have to ask Ducky. But, since they determined that it was caused by stress, I'm fairly sure that I brought it on myself." Tim told her somberly.

"That doesn't mean you meant to!" Abby pushed.

"I know." Tim answered her.

"You hungry?" she asked, suddenly feeling the need to change the subject.

"Not really." he admitted.

"Ducky and Gibbs aren't gonna be happy to hear that." she warned.

"Can't help it if I don't have an appetite." he defended himself.

"I know. Maybe they'll come up with something. I'm supposed to go tell them you're up." Abby said as she kissed him on the cheek and headed towards the door. Abby paused at the door and turned her body slightly towards Tim.

"Anything you need from down stairs?"

"Tony." Tim said unexpectedly.

Abby looked at him with concern. "I can't promise but I'll check with Ducky and Gibbs. Don't count on it."

Tim sat back against his pile of pillows and laid his head back, willing his mind to stay blank while he waited.

"He's awake!" Abby's exuberant voice carried through the downstairs. As she sat down at the kitchen table, her face lost its cheer.

"Abby?" Gibbs prodded.

"He's not hungry and he wants to talk to Tony." she reported, obviously unhappy with her news.

"He'll eat when he's ready." Gibbs said calmly.

"And him talking to Tony?" Abby pushed.

Gibbs looked at Ducky as he answered her. "That's up to Tony."

"Did I hear my name?" Tony asked as he came into the kitchen.

"Timothy wishes to speak with you. Do you think you're up to the challenge of talking things out with him without letting him get upset?" Ducky asked the younger man.

"Yeah, I can do this. I didn't expect him to want to talk to me so soon, but yeah." Tony said as he turned to leave the room.

"Tony!" Gibbs' call stopped him in his tracks.

"Yeah, Boss?" Tony stopped mid-stride and turned back to listen to Gibbs.

Pointing to the refrigerator, Gibbs told him. "Take him something to eat. Nothing big."

"On it, Boss." Tony said as he pulled an apple out and tossed it in the air before catching it and washing it off in the sink. Heading back out, he turned toward the stairs with a light step, feeling in his gut that things were gonna get better from here for them.

"Hey, Probie! You feeling better?" Tony greeted as he entered the bedroom and tossed the apple onto  
the bed, near Tim's hands.

"Little bit." Tim answered truthfully.

"You okay?" Tim took the apple and bit into it. Enjoying what he'd bitten off as he waited for Tony's answer.

"Me? I'm fine, McGoo; why are you worried about me?" Tony asked in surprise.

"I know you saw me turn on Gibbs the other night. Tony." Tim said with tears in his eyes. **He was** Suddenly no longer interested in the apple and set it on the bedside table on top of the paper towel that sat there with his empty water glass.

"Yeah, and I also know that none of us are anywhere a**s **near as pissed at you about it as your are at yourself. You weren't in your right mind, kiddo. You were overloaded, overwhelmed, and lost." Tony excused.

"Tony..." Tim tried to explain.

"No. Tim Stop. Listen to me. Not one of us is upset with you now. I'm not gonna lie. We were all very pissed BEFORE we took the time to realize what you were going through and where you were at. You can't expect not to let it out when it gets to be too much. We get that, now."

"It was my own fault, Tony." Tim admitted meekly.

"What was your fault?" Tony asked in surprise.

"I chose to handle things behind everyone's back and stow away in Gibbs' car when he went to the Navy Yard. I chose to read the files." the younger man reminded him.

"Okay. So, you want us to be pissed at you? Cause I gotta tell ya, Probie, it sure sounds like **ya do** instead of appreciating that we're all tryin' to real hard to understand..."

"No, Tony, I don't want anyone to be pissed at me. But, I can't ignore the fact that I screwed up. I did this." Tim said seriously.

"Anything else you wanna take the blame for while you're at it?" Tony asked in aggravation.

"Tony! You want me to say none of its' my fault? Why are we fighting about this?" Tim asked in frustration as he swiped his tears from his face.

Tony stopped. If Gibbs or Ducky heard this going on, he'd be in deep shit right about now. Why was he so pissed that Tim was trying to be responsible?

"Ok, Tim. You're right. I'm sorry. But, you need to stop" the Senior Field Agent admitted.

"Stop what?" Tim asked in surprise.

"Stop focusing on this. You're not supposed to be getting stressed out.. Remember?"

"Yeah, bout that…" Tim hedged.

"What about it?" Tony demanded.

"I kinda brought that on myself, too." Tim said quietly.

"Why did I know that was comin'?" Tony asked dryly. "Okay, you obviously need to talk about this. So, talk."

"Never mind." Tim said tiredly. "I think I'll try to sleep some more. Thanks for listening, Tony." Tim said as he gingerly laid himself down and turned away from Tony.

Tony silently took the water glass and slipped from the room suddenly feeling the need to have a heart to heart with Gibbs. He didn't like that Tim wanted to focus on everything he'd done wrong in the last few days, but given everything the guy had been through, who was Tony to think he could control the way Probie was thinking?

"Tony?" Gibbs asked in concern as he registered the less than relieved look on his Senior Field Agent's face.

Tony silently set the empty glass in the sink before he turned and looked around to see who else was in the room. Not wanting to talk about this in front of anyone else, he opted for an out.

"I need some air. I'll be back."

"I'll come with you. Don't want you getting lost in this neighborhood." Gibbs quipped, knowing full well that DiNozzo needed to talk something out. It was written all over his face, that in itself was cause for concern, especially seeing asTony was usually as closed up about needing to talk as Gibbs.

As they stepped outside and headed down the street, Tony didn't even wait to be asked what was on his mind. He needed to get this off his chest before he exploded. He relayed the conversation he'd just had with Tim back to Gibbs; knowing full well he'd be in for a hellacious head slap over where the conversation with the recovering man had gone.

Gibbs stopped in mid stride. "You're telling me that he's blaming himself for his heart attack?"

"Yeah, said he brought it on himself. Guess I let my frustration get the best of me when he said that. He **just** shut down and laid down to take a nap rather than talk to me anymore. I'm sorry, Boss." Tony's remorse was genuine.

"Tony, don't. You're human and we've all been under a lot of stress lately. No one's expecting you to be perfect." Gibbs let him off the hook sympathetically.

As they turned back toward the house and walked back in thoughtful silence, Tony felt marginally better and hoped Gibbs and Ducky could sort this out with Probie. He knew he sure as hell wasn't up to the challenge, especially as his world was still spinning from everything that had been said and done in the last four days alone.

When they reached the house, Gibbs sent Tony out back with the ladies with the instruction to relax and unwind. After talking to Ducky, both men headed upstairs to talk to Tim. Seeing his agent restlessly not sleeping made Gibb's heart pull, he really did empathize with what the young man was going through,but he still felt the need to get this talk out of the way.  
"McGee."  
Tim's eyes flew open at the sound of Gibbs' voice. Seeing Gibbs standing there looking at him, he struggled to sit up quickly, causing himself pain in the process. As he grimaced through the pain, he felt Gibbs' reassuring hand on his shoulder to gently hold him down.

"Timothy, you must relax." Ducky's admonishment surprised Tim, as he hadn't even realized the M.E. was there.

"Relax. Stop trying so hard." Gibbs quiet advice along with Ducky's presence calmed Tim's nerves and he instantly stopped moving and allowed the pain to subside from his chest before he raised himself up on one arm to look his former boss in the eye.

Gibbs silently stacked Tim's pillows up behind his head and Ducky helped him to carefully sit up so they could talk. Waiting until all signs of physical pain were gone from the young man's face, Gibbs patiently sat in silence with the M.E. firmly planted where he could keep an eye on Timothy's vital signs.

When Ducky had finished checking the young man's vital signs and when they were completely satisfied that all was okay; that Tim wasn't fighting through pain or ignoring any. Gibbs said what he needed to say.

"Understand from Tony that you feel responsible for your heart attack. We need to know why, Tim." Gibbs admitted.

"Timothy, do you think you can explain it to us without getting yourself upset in the process?" Ducky asked in concern.

Tim looked from one concerned man to the other before looking back at Gibbs and answering him.

"I think so." Tim answered in the same quiet tone.

"If you feel yourself beginning to get upset, I want you to stop. No questions asked." Ducky warned.

"Okay." Tim's quiet tone worried Gibbs, but they needed to know what was going on with him and this was the best place to start.

In a subdued tone, Tim relayed what had happened in the hotel room:

_**FLASHBACK**  
As he lay there, in the hotel bed, he couldn't seem to stop his mind from going back to his record of people dying because of choices he'd made. _

_His track record went as far back as Pacci's death. The deceased agent had asked Tim to get him a file and although Tim had done his best, given his entire day to the task; it had taken too long. That fact was borne out by Pacci's death on account of that case; that __elusive__ file that he hadn't been able to get a hold of. _

_t was soon joined by another one; identical in nature; this one with Erin's name engraved on it. Yeah, that first case that Gibbs had entrusted to him __had__cost that sweet, innocent young girl her life because Tim McGee screwed-up. The fact that Gibbs never said anything to him about it either way confirmed that in his heart ages ago. _

_The bubbles of blame and worthlessness resurfaced. A third bubble of identical emotion surfaced alongside the other two, this one clearly had Kate's name etched__deeply__ in the surface. Ari had taken his first shot at Tim and missed. The fact that Tim had moved at the last second, causing the  
assassin to miss him, was the only reason the bastard had turned his sights onto the rooftop; to Kate. _

_No one could ever convince him that that didn't equal blame. Not quite a genuine screw-up, grant you __granted, not a genuine screw up__; but responsibility still __laid on him just__the same._

_Soon, other identical bubbles __that had lain dormant__**,**__ long simmering in the depths of his soul, now  
rose to the surface to join the others. Paula, Benedict and now Mom, Dad, Heather, Allison and last but certainly, not least, Sarah. The sheer number of them was beginning to feel suffocating; indeed he was finding it hard to breathe.; __every breath feeling as though it was being squeezed out painfully, his chest constricting; making him feel as though his lungs were starting to seize up completely__**.**_

_Tim couldn't help but wonder if this was how serial killers felt when they'd killed as many people as he was responsible for. The emotional pain of it all was beginning to manifest itself into physical pain so strong he felt __as though__ his heart was being ripped from his chest._

_**End Flashback***_

"Oh, Timothy!" was all Ducky could say. To realize that all this grief and blame was simmering in this young man's heart in addition to the loss of his family, was more than Ducky could deal with. Silently, he patted the young man on the shoulder and left the room; confident in his mind, that the cases Timothy was still bothered by, still touched a chord in Jethro as well. He hoped that between them, they would hopefully be able to help each other over these hurdles.

"Why didn't you come to me with any of this before, Tim?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"I was trying to move on, like I was supposed to; like you and ..."

"Like Tony and I do?" Gibbs interrupted solemnly.

"Yeah." Came Tim's embarrassed answer.

"Think you're ready to talk to someone about all this?" Gibbs changed the subject just enough to get something accomplished.

"You mean a shrink?" Tim asked quietly.

"Yeah. You need to be helped through this by someone who's' trained; not by people who are flyin' by the seat of their pants trying to say the right thing but quite possibly are making it worse for you and for them." Gibbs reasoned.

"Oh, God! Tony, Boss, did I.... Oh, no. I'm..." Tim sputtered and fretted over emotionally hurting Tony over this.

"Hey! McGee, stop!" Gibbs barked, inwardly cursing himself when he saw Tim cringe at his tone. But, he'd needed to calm him down. Thankfully, it had done the trick, even if it had stung him a little.

"Tony will be okay. We all will, as soon as things settle down into some sense of normal for everyone, all right? And for the record, Tim, you are not responsible for the people we've lost to this job or your family! You wanna hang on to somethin' you hang on that and don't let it go."

"Okay, Boss." Tim conceded gratefully. "Thank you."

Gibbs reached over and patted Tim affectionately on the shoulder, the simple gesture seemed to help ground Tim more and he felt the tense muscles relax slightly under his hand'.

"Atta boy Tim, Okay, Eat some more of that apple and get some rest. And stop thinking about all this stuff. Think you can do that?"

"If I had a TV in here, I could." Tim answered honestly.

"Jeez, you sure you haven't been hangin' 'roun' DiNozzo for too long?" Gibbs quipped, drawing the first smile out of Tim in days.

A short 15 minutes later, Tim had polished off the apple and Tony had set up a TV with the DVD player and the four younger people were all contentedly watching a movie together in Ducky's room.

Ducky had advised against anything too outrageously funny due to the need to keep things calm. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't long before Gibbs and Ducky found the bedroom packed full of sleeping bodies, three encased in sleeping bags on the floor and one peacefully slumbering in the bed, alone because no one wanted to risk bumping into him in their sleep.

Looking at their brood, Gibbs and Ducky shared a smile full of appreciation for the peace and quiet and relief that all was well with their family, at least for tonight anyway.


	28. Unbreakable Bonds

A/N : Special Thanks to my Beta and co-author, Shelbylou.  
Also want to thank all my readers and reviewers. I appreciate every one of you.

* * *

The rest of the week passed without incident or emotional meltdown. Ducky brought in a friend who was a psychologist by profession; Dr. Paul Dennison. He wasted no time at all in getting every bit of the background information available from the team. He wanted to get everything on what he was walking into, more so to keep Tim from having to repeat anything painful that could potentially hinder his recovery. than anything else.

Although no one pried the lid off Tim's feelings about these sessions with the doc, or about anything else for that matter, the difference in their friend was obvious. Almost immediately it seemed, as Tim's demeanor seemed to change slightly but steadily for the better. There were plenty of shadows still lurking in his eyes and the dark circles that ringed them were still fading slowly but his color and his appetite returned and everyone began to breathe a sigh of relief. And that was only after a week of talking with the doc.

When Tim was finally allowed to get out of bed and come down stairs, he gravitated toward the younger people when they were there, choosing to spend his time in their company, both to give the older men a well deserved break from taking care of him and to avoid the possibility of talking about things that had already been bashed out with the psychologist. It seemed to be working out well for all of them. Everyone's appetites were back to normal, the team had gotten back into the normalcy of having their jobs back and Tim was slowly but surely coming back to them, all the way around.

Even Gibbs had taken his job back, although he'd done it with reservations. After all if something happened to him, who would look after Tim? Who would make sure he wouldn't lose himself to everything he'd been through? Gibbs knew that Tim not only relied on him, but was counting on him to be his security blanket right now, and would be completely lost if that was ripped away from him with everything else he'd been through. So, this time around, caution was prevalent. Vests were worn regularly now; no one needed to be lost from the team and if the small safety measures like wearing Kevlar kept them alive, then any discomfort they felt would soon be forgotten. The fact that the team was one short already was a constant reminder of their ability to become a victim or worse, a casualty.

As the team let out a collective sigh of relief regarding the fact that the hurdles that had been cleared with Tim, were good ones and had been taken care of inside of only a week; things seemed to take a nose-dive right back to the bottom, almost instantaneously. Saturday morning! The first day they team had free from work and from being on call was two weeks since Tim had been out of the hospital; Tim's demeanour suddenly regressed back to the state he'd been in the first morning after Sara's funeral. He'd fallen asleep on his couch, which now sat in Gibbs' living room. The team had left him to it, choosing to gather in the kitchen and talk quietly among themselves while he slept.

When he got up, he was subdued and quiet, his eyes were once again shrouded in sorrow and pain. Silently, he took himself outside to the yard; When Abby had gone into the living room to check on his seemingly extra long nap, she'd been startled to find he wasn't there. Luckily, she'd noticed movement out on the back porch and seen him there. From the slouch of his shoulders she could tell something was hinky. Upon going out back to talk to him, she could see he was in fact, extremely upset about something. She noticed his hands were clenched into fists and seemed to be holding his bent head up. Tim's shoulders were shaking with heart wrenching sobs which were becoming more and more audible by the minute.

The fact that he hadn't heard her come outside spoke volumes of how upset he really was. It left Abby torn, she had no idea whether she should wrap her arms around her hurting Timmy or seek solace for her friend somewhere else. She made her decision and slipped back inside and quickly went back to the kitchen. Gibbs looked up at her as she stopped in the doorway and she silently motioned for him to join her in the hallway.

"What is it?" he asked with concern at the devastated look on her face and the tears in her eyes.

"Something's really wrong with Tim, Gibbs! He's out on the porch and he's crying and I don't mean just quiet tears, crying, Gibbs! I mean really hard sobbing, crying!" she said agitatedly, her tears now sliding down her face at the thought of Timmy in more emotional pain.

"Ok. Abbs, I'll talk to him. Don't let anyone come out back till I get back." Gibbs requested as he kissed her cheek, squeezed her hand comfortingly and headed out to see what was going on. Tim had been doing so well. What the hell had happened?

When he saw the state Tim was in, even from the doorway to the outside, Gibbs' heart plummeted down to his feet. Oh, yeah, Abby was right, something was very wrong. It was time for Tim to let someone in on whatever it was that was causing him this level of pain, If Gibbs had to call the doc about his, he would.

"Tim?" Gibbs question loaded with concern only managed to quiet the younger man's sobs. The tears still flowed and his shoulders remained hunched. The most telling sign that something was seriously wrong, though, rested in the fact that Tim still hadn't looked Gibbs' way.

"Talk to me, son. What's going on?" the older man gently pushed.

"You knew." Tim quietly accused with pain.

"What did I know, Tim?" Gibbs was clearly confused.

"You knew my sister was killed in my apartment while I was busy running away and you didn't tell me." Tim raged as he turned and glared at Gibbs with so much pain and anger, it was almost tangible.

"Yes. I knew. When you read the files, Tim, I thought you'd found that out for yourself. Considering how upset you are, I'm guessing that's not the case." Gibbs said carefully.

"No. I never saw that." Tim quieted down. Gibbs was right, how the hell did they know what he did or didn't read from the file? It wasn't their fault. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just tell me what brought this on." Gibbs requested sympathetically.

Tim reached into his shirt pocket and pulled something out, handing it to Gibbs.

"I found this in the cushions of my couch." Tim admitted solomnly.

Gibbs looked at what was in Tim's hand; something his mind had trouble comprehending, it was so horrible, he didn't understand why it hadn't been found when the apartment had been cleaned or worse, when the couch had been moved over here. The bottom line was someone's head was gonna roll for this!

_Focus, Marine! Who didn't find it doesn't matter now. What matters now, is getting your boy through this and back on his feet!_ Gibbs silently admonished himself.

He silently folded the picture that Tim had found when he woke and pocketed it so Tim couldn't torment himself with it anymore. He looked over at his youngest agent.......surrogate son, with watery eyes. The young man had been through the hell and high water that had been thrown at him and he'd managed to get started toward recovering and getting better and now this?

This one small piece of paper held an image so powerful that it could throw Tim back into the depression that had threatened to destroy his soul the first time round. Gibbs made a decision there and then, there was no way in hell that was going to happen again and he would do everything in his power to make sure Tim was safe from the emotional hell this was threatening to send him back to.

Gibbs rounded his shoulders and grasped Tim's arm to pull him up and helped him over to the garden chair that sat on the wooden porch deck. He knelt down and looked up to meet Tim's gaze. With every ounce of conviction and promise he had to offer he spoke:

"'Tim, it doesn't matter, Son. You've come so far and this is just a small setback. I don't want you keeping this inside."

"Small setback? Boss she was murdered right there in my apartment, she was..........Oh my God! I was sleeping on the couch where...." Tim was distraught at the very thought.

"_No!_ She did die in your apartment, Son, but she did _not _die on your couch, I _promise_ you that!" Gibbs vowed with all the compassion and honesty he knew Tim needed desperately right now.

Tim looked at Gibbs for a long silent minute, searching for the truth in his eyes before he finally nodded slightly and swiped his hand over his moist cheek to wipe away some of the tears that continued to fall.

"I can't go back there, Boss. I just can't, knowing….It's too…'. Once again, Tim was too upset to finish his thoughts.

"Wasn't planning on letting you go back there, Tim. There are other options."' Gibbs interrupted him compassionately.

Tim shook his head and looked out at the perfectly manicured back yard. _God, Jethro always loved it here! _He thought to himself painfully_. _

"What options Boss, I stay here? I move in with you, Tony, Ducky? I don't even have a job!" Tim exclaimed in a fresh wave of frustration.

Gibbs stopped the outburst by holding up his hand. When Tim had quieted, Gibbs answered his questions. "If that's what it takes, until you get back on your feet at least. We're family. Let us help you however we can. It's what families do, Son."'

Seeing motion at the door, Gibbs nodded his permission to the rest of the team to join them now. Tim was saved from answering by numerous footsteps heading his way and was surprised when a 'light' beer was slapped in his hand.

"Ducky said it was ok, Probie, so how about we spend some quality family time together out here."

Tim glanced up and turned his glassy eyes over the group that had descended on him. Tony, Ziva, Abby and Ducky were all settling down close by on the large throw cushions that Abby had carried out with her. He felt Tony nudge his leg slightly and looked down to that irresistible smile that helped break the ice, it was long before he was drawn into the familiar banter that served to help lift his grief, at least for the time being.

Gibbs shook his head with a grin. He loved his team and knew, that no matter what, he could always rely on them to step up to the plate when it was truly needed. After all, what held them together, was a combination of Tim's family bonds; the ties to which, the team would never let become broken despite Tim losing them as well as the new one family bonds that were stronger than ever after everything everyone has been through with him

There was no doubt whatsoever that this team; this family, would find their way, After all the bonds that held them together now were unbreakable

**FINIS**


	29. Epilogue - Three Months Later

_**Previously on "When Trouble Finds Us"**_

_"Jethro, I've orders to take disciplinary action against your agent."_

_"Let me guess, he didn't notify NCIS when he found out Sara's two friends were missing?" _

_"That's exactly right."_

_"Jen, he gets a call at 10 on Thursday that his sister and her friends never picked up their rental car. It takes him the rest of the day to find out the names and whereabouts of everyone his sister knew. He gets the names of his sister's new best friends, both of them incidentally Navy Recruits, late in the day, at 5:30 pm, on Thursday, Sara's officially missing. Heather and Allison weren't._

_"Yes, but they should have been.!" _

_"Jen, that was up to their families, not Tim. He tried to reach their families, He couldn't get an answer. He didn't' do anything wrong." _

_"The SecNav disagrees, Jethro." _

_"What's the SecNav doing in this?"_

_"The families of the girls are suing NCIS for its' delayed actions on the case. The parents feel that the girls would have been found alive if we had acted sooner." _

_"Jen, Ducky said those girls were killed the on Thursday!"_

_"Jethro, there's nothing I can do. My hands are tied." _

_"What does the SecNav want you to do about it?"_

_"Tim's resignation."_

_"You've got to be kidding me! Doesn't Ducky's time of death mean anything, here? He said those girls died before the 24 hours was even reached that they'd been missing! How in the hell does that wind up on McGee?"_

_"Jethro, he kept the entire case to himself until the following Monday." _

_"Jen, he didn't know those girls had been murdered! You know that!"_

_"Jethro, my hands are tied. This is over my head. There is nothing I can do. I'm sorry."_

_"Tell that to McGee! It's not bad enough his parents get murdered and he spends a week of hell thinking his sister's next? Now he gets fired from the job he fought like hell to earn, and one that he loves because someone wants a scapegoat? This is bullshit, Jen and you damn well know it!"_

_"Even if I agree with you, Jethro, there's nothing I can do about it. Let's get this over with."_

* * *

Three months ago, he'd been stripped of his career. Three months ago today, he had buried his sister. That was a cruel blow after his parents' funeral, which had been just days before that. The heart wrenching loss of his family at the hands of Sarah's maniac boyfriend had nearly destroyed his life. The events leading up to that loss had been the most unexpected, yet catastrophic events he could ever have imagined happening to him, no matter how long he lived.

Breathing out a pained sigh, he looked over at the calendar and stared at the dates with moist eyes that told the story of his grief. It was almost as if he were drawn to the visual confirmation of the date…dates… that sent him drifting away into the abyss of his grief. He'd been told that it got easier as time went on, but did he really want it to? Without the pain, he'd forget them, or so he thought. He wanted it to get easier to remember them as they were, not the days where he stood by a fresh grave watching as their bodies were committed to the ground because their souls were already singing with the angels.

Sitting up in bed, he rested his back against the headboard and closed his eyes. This quiet time brought with it the expected wave of grief, anger and bitterness that rolled through him whenever he had time with his thoughts. The memories that filled his head were vivid and unrelenting, almost as if he were reliving everything once again. With a stifled sob and a pained cry, he put his head in his hands and let the dam break in the solitude of his own space with no one there to hear his cries amidst the fresh onslaught of memories that crashed over him now:

_The call from the car rental agency claiming Sarah and her friends had never picked up their rental car._

The four-day search for his sister that resulted in her safe return.

_The case of her friends' murders and the discovery of her friends' bodies which ultimately led to his being asked to resign from NCIS for his failure to report them missing as soon as he knew Sarah was missing._

_The subsequent discovery of his parents' bodies, where they had been murdered in their D.C. hotel room by Sarah's boyfriend, Martin Anderson._

_The safe recovery of Sarah, by the team:_

"_Oh, Sarah! Oh, Thank God!"_

"_You better thank your team, Tim. They found me."  
"Boss, I don't know how to..."_

"_Tim. I get it. I know. Trust me, we're all thankful Sarah's safe. It was the least we could do for your parents. But I want you to know something. You did good and kept your head on straight. You didn't even argue with me __over__ anything I told you do to or not do. With everything you had on your shoulders, you still kept it together and I'm damn proud of you."_

_"Thanks, Boss."  
"Timothy, don't let any of this overwhelm you. If you need help with anything, you call on us."  
"Tim, would you like me to handle the funeral arrangements for your parents?"  
"That's not necessary, Director, I'll..."  
"McGee."  
"Boss?"  
"Listen to me. We all know this is hard for you; made harder by the fact that you don't know how to deal with your sister's involvement. I can tell you that the more help you accept; the better off you're gonna be. It's the only way you're gonna get through this. And you need to remember, you have nothing to feel guilty about."_

"_Thanks, Boss. Really. I will accept the help. But you're wrong about one thing."_

"_What am I wrong about?"_

"_Me not having anything to feel guilty about."_

"_What do you have to feel guilty about?"_

"_Heather Shale and Allison Reed."_

"_Okay. What about them?"_

"_Boss, they were Navy Recruits!"  
_

"_Okay, McGee. Calm down. I get it. You think you could have changed the outcome if you'd reported their status as possibly missing to us sooner."  
_

"_Not me, Boss. The Director."  
_

"_You let me worry about that. You just keep your head on, accept what help is offered to get you and your sister through these tough times and try to go a little easy on Sarah, trust me, she already feels worse than you could ever imagine about all of this. All right?"  
_

"_Okay."_

"_Boss? Do you think everyone on the team would be willing to help me get through their funerals?"_

_"That's kinda of a dumb question, McGee. Of course your team wants to be there for you. You just have to learn to ask without feeling like you don't deserve their support."_

"_Yeah. I guess you're right. Thanks, Boss."_

"_You're welcome. Now, go take care of your sister. Leave the rest up to us."_

Closing his eyes, he tried hopelessly to stave off the waves of pain that his memories caused but it was to no avail and his mind took him even further back, to the moment when he received the call from the car rental agency. They claimed Sarah and her friends had never picked up their rental car; it was the start of the four-day search for her and for her friends which had eventually led to the discovery of her friends' bodies and the subsequent discovery of his parents' bodies.

His parents, the people that had given him life and gave both him and Sarah so much love and support when growing up, were murdered in cold blood. They were gone and it was by the hands of a coldhearted man that did not care about the consequences of his actions. Sarah had been returned to him, which given the loss he'd already suffered, was some kind of act of God. In his eyes, it was nothing short of a miracle and at that moment in time, he knew that he wasn't alone in the world.

Tremors rose from deep within him because he was trying hard to rein his in tormenting emotions. As much as he tried not to cry…he didn't want to anymore… his traitorous mind continued to torture him with the vivid recollection of the events following the moment he'd lost his job in the midst of this nightmare

_As Tim packed up his personal belongings, and asked Tony to go clean out his gym locker for him, Tim held on to his emotions, held the lid on with super human strength. At Gibbs' encouragement, blazing in his eyes, Tim smiled back at him, knowing it probably didn't reach his eyes, but it was the best he could do._

_Tim made it to his car before he allowed himself to break. As he set his box down on the roof of his car, he leaned his head on his arms, and cried. His shoulders shaking with sobs of anger, outrage, sorrow and regret. Feeling himself pulled from the car and wrapped in a hug, Tim stiffened for only a second, before he recognized the person letting him let go, grounding him with human contact and whispered words of apology:_

_"I'm so sorry, Tim"_

As the tears slipped down his face now, the exact wording of the note he left his sister as he abandoned her so he could try and escape the pain of it all by running away, flooded his mind.

_Sarah:_

I need to get away. Don't worry; I'll be at Grandma McGee's cottage on the beach.

_If you have any problems, please call Ziva. She's promised to always be there for you._  
_Jethro is at the kennel.  
If you want to stay at my place while I'm gone this weekend, you can. I can't cope with your need to talk about what happened so, don't think we'll be able to talk about it any better when I get back._

_That's not why I'm taking this break._

_Take care of yourself while I'm gone and be careful._

Tim's vivid recollections just kept rolling on through now, relentlessly as they drew him back to that moment when just as he was driving out of town, he'd been stopped by the State Police as they caught up with him on the road.

All the officer had said was '_Agent McGee, we've been asked to locate you and to tell you that you are urgently needed back at NCIS.'_

He recalled everything about that moment in time and even feeling that even though he didn't know what was wrong, he had the urge to talk to someone he trusted; someone that he knew would tell him straight while being the rock that he needed – Gibbs. With shaking hands, he had hit the speed dial for his Boss and waited for the voice; the voice that would speak of one final tragedy that could quite possibly act as the final nail in the coffin and break him.

"_Yeah. Gibbs."_  
"_Boss?"_  
"_McGee. Where are you?"  
"Getting a police escort back home. I'm two hours out. Boss, what's going on?""McGee. Listen to me. You've got to concentrate on driving. Call me when you get on the Yard, okay?"_

"_Yeah. Okay. Boss, just tell me, please. Is it Sarah?"  
"McGee. Just get here, all right?"_  
_"Ok, Boss."  
_

The ax had fallen when he'd returned to the agency and had walked into the room where his obviously devastated team was waiting for him. One look at their faces and he'd known the devastating news they'd been waiting to tell him; news that he couldn't deal with even now. so lord knows how he dealt with it back then.

_"Tim."  
"Sarah's dead. That why I needed to get back here with a police escort?"  
"I'm so sorry, Tim."  
"What happened?"_

"_Anderson escaped. He went to Waverly. Sarah called me because she thought she was being followed; said she was in the Campus Security office. I told her to stay there until Tony got there. As fast as he got there, Tim, Anderson already had taken her. Try as hard as we could, we weren't able to catch up with him until it was too late."  
_

"_Boss. Please, don't do this. I can't handle you taking the blame for this. I'm the one who treated her like crap; refused to talk to her about all of this. That's why she stayed on campus most of the time. We weren't talking much. All I was doing was pushing her to not miss any of her appointments with her shrink so I wouldn't have to hear anything she needed to talk about. You wanna blame someone for this, the buck stops here."  
_

"_She's downstairs, Tim, if you need to say goodbye." _

Silently, he stopped fighting the tears, letting them come, the grief still too fresh to contain.

*******NCIS*******

As he sat at his kitchen table, nursing his second cup of morning coffee, his eyes happened upon the time on the coffee maker. Realizing it was nearly six, he paused briefly to stare at the innocuous digital numbers. His thoughts turned slightly to the fact that while it was still early for some people, in this household it wasn't early by any means. If anything it was late and by now, breakfast was usually well underway, it wasn't like his housemate to stay in bed this long. In fact, the young man hadn't done this since… _damn it!_ Looking over at the calendar on the wall, he frowned while mentally head slapping himself. _Of course today would hit him hard. It was still fresh for him. Hell, this date would probably always be difficult for him now._

He stood up and moved to refresh his coffee. With a sigh, he took a long hard drink before getting a second cup out of the cupboard and making the coffee as the young man upstairs liked it. How these kids can drink it with milk and sugar he'd never know, but who was he to argue. Once done, he walked upstairs and stopped outside the guest bedroom dreading what he was walking into.

Regardless, the kid needed him. Knocking gently on the door to give warning that he was coming in, he opened the door and stepped inside the room, pausing to take in what lay before him. Seeing Tim sitting up in bed with rivulet of tears running down his face damn near broke Gibbs' heart. That in itself was bad enough, but the sight of Tim trying desperately to fight the tears and pain, was the thing that really go to him. He'd never get used to seeing this level of emotional turmoil despite living through it himself all those years ago.

The sense that he was no longer alone in the room seemed to disturb the torrent of memories that Tim was drowning in. With a harsh breath in, he finally blew it out in a cleansing whoosh and rubbed his hands across his hot, moist face. His hands dropped back down to his lap before glancing at the door to look at Gibbs with a small, thin forced smile of greeting.

"Hey, Boss."

Gibbs held out Tim's coffee to him and remained silent as the young man took it and gratefully drank some of it.

"Thanks." Tim offered after swallowing it down and letting the hot liquid soothe his scratchy throat. He knew better than to apologize for missing breakfast. They'd been through this so many times in the last three months; six, to be exact, that he knew it would be a futile act.

When Tim had woken up on the first month anniversary of his parents' deaths, he hadn't even made it out of bed until after lunch and that had only happened after Gibbs had made a phone call to Tim's shrink, Dr. Paul Dennison. Gibbsinsisted that he come talk to Tim in person and do what he could to help him through the minefield in which he was stuck. Tim had eventually come down from his room and wandered out back to the deck where he stayed for the rest of the day. The point was he'd made it out to the fresh air and remained sitting with Jethro, his faithful canine companion.

Gibbs had noticed a change in the mutt too because with Tim holed up in bed, the German shepherd had simply lain on the deck whining as he pined for his master. With Tim outside and by his side, two furry ears had picked up and he sat with his head in Tim's lap enjoying the connection and attention enough to keep a wary eye on his master and the back yard.

The anniversary of Sarah's death hit Tim even harder since he'd never been able to let go of that blanket of guilt he'd readily wrapped himself in the night she was murdered in his apartment. Although no one ever forced him to talk about it, they all knew that he blamed himself for never wanting to talk to her about her responsibility in the death of their parents at the hands of her 'boyfriend'.

The Team Leader had steadfastly handled it all silently, cautiously and without complaint. The Team Leader had been careful to keep his own emotions and memories of both Tim's situation and his own personal tragedy at bay so that his young agent would not bear the brunt of his emotions as well. Gibbs knew full well that Tim already felt guilty about the memories of the Team Leader losing his own family being brought forth as the similarities became apparent. In Tim's eyes, it was that guilt that made him feel as though he had to apologize and explain even though it hadn't been necessary at all.

_"Don't leave me, please...I'm sorry."_  
_  
"This had to be tough for you, staying with me because of what happened to my family, After..."_  
_  
"Didn't mean to make it worse for you, Boss."_

Even at a time when Tim had been mired in everything going on, he'd felt the need to write a short note of apology. Gibbs had kept that note and placed it in the small box he kept specifically for Shannon and Kelly. In a way, Gibbs felt it belonged there because he knew Shannon would have taken Tim under her wing and soothed him through this pain. He just hoped that in spirit, she would watch over his youngest agent.

_You've done everything for me  
__Helped me through everything even while holding your own pain in. I tried to apologize for it but I know that it was too little too late_

As a result, Gibbs was not about to let Tim go through that again. He'd kept just enough distance from his youngest agent during these most difficult of days. That distance ensured that the rest of his teammates and Tim's shrink had the space they needed to step up, be there for Tim, and help him through. It had been done sympathetically and with a tact that didn't leave Tim feeling as though Gibbs had abandoned him.

Even now, Gibbs remained watchful and silent, allowing Tim to have control of what happened next. Watching the young man remain obviously stuck in the melancholy mood didn't do much to help the situation though; soon Gibbs found himself unwilling to remain silent any longer. "It'll get easier, eventually."

"Thanks. I know you're right, I just…."

"Can't see it yet. I know. The thing you need to get into your head, McGee is that no one expects you to. Only person you need to worry about taking care of is you. But, you gotta start getting back into living, Tim."

Feeling like that very expectation was a betrayal of those he'd just recently lost, Tim closed his eyes to ward off the expected stake through his heart.

"That's the problem for you, isn't it?" Gibbs asked as he took a seat at the end of the bed and looked at the younger man.

"Doesn't feel right." Tim admitted so quietly it was as if he were trying not to admit it to anyone.

"McGee, look at me." The boss ordered without raising his voice.

Tim instantly did as he was told and looked Gibbs straight on.

"You know I've been there. Took me a long time and some serious head slaps from an ornery NIS Agent to get past it. But, I didn't have anyone else around me that knew me enough to care like you've got. You're not alone and you already want to keep going, I know you do."

Tim nodded as he looked down, trying to hold back the tears. The rare occasions that Gibbs opened up like this always touched Tim, especially given the circumstances of their now closely related situations.

"I get that it feels like you shouldn't still be living when they're gone, but you know that's not what your parents would say. If you need something to guide your way back to living the life you've made for yourself, then go with that. Try asking yourself what your parents would want for you. Do it every day, McGee."

Tim wiped his hand across his face once more and glanced at his mentor with a small smile of appreciation. "Thanks, Boss." Remembering his coffee, he drank it down and let out a deep sigh.

"Okay?"

Tim smiled a little bigger as he looked at the man who'd stuck by him and taken him under his wing when the rest of the world had folded in on the younger man. "Yeah."

"Good, then get your ass down here and get some food in ya." Gibbs ordered with a smirk as he stood up, took the now empty cup from Tim and headed downstairs.

Tim got out of bed and headed for the shower, finally mentally prepared to find his way through the day.

******NCIS*******

These last three months had been among the most inactive days of Tim's entire adult life. No one pushed him to talk about anything personal, but they did push him to keep living. Tony took it upon himself to institute a team movie night every Saturday night when the team wasn't on call. Not one of them had been missed by the team.

Ziva had even started to show up every other morning clad in her running gear. It had taken her a good half hour to drag Tim out of bed that first morning but eventually their morning runs were routine. Gibbs knew that even though Ziva said she wanted to keep him in shape, her underlying purpose had been that Tim get the added benefit of pounding out his frustration, anger and grief on the pavement and every opportunity to clear his head.

After the third morning of seeing Ziva rush into the office harried because she had to run home, shower and get ready for work quickly so she wouldn't be late, Gibbs took pity on her and told her she should shower at his house. Now on the mornings she and Tim ran together, she'd show up with her work gear. Of course, Gibbs had used the excuse that he wanted her on top of her game at work and coming in rushed and tired wasn't a good start to the day.

Now with Tim's psychologist, Dr. Dennison, sitting with Tim for another home session some 45 minutes after breakfast had been devoured, Gibbs sent him a text to let Tim know he was leaving. He was later than normal, but truthfully the determination and drive to set things right offset the tardiness. His mind was made up, he was going to succeed here even if they didn't even know he was coming and hadn't even bothered to invite him. They needed to set things right. They all did.

Twenty minutes later found him barging into the meeting already beginning up in Jenny's office. He'd bypassed his team, and briefly noticed how unhappy looking they were working on the assigned cold cases. That wasn't important though, he had a job to do. Striding up the stairs, he walked quickly through the small reception area and ignored Cynthia's protests as he stormed into Jenny's office. He quickly made his way to the empty seat in the middle of the table, with his back to the wall.

"Agent Gibbs, why are you here?" Jenny asked formally. "You were not invited to this meeting."

"No I wasn't. But I should have been." Gibbs threw back at her in all seriousness. "Mr. Secretary." Gibbs turned to greet Jenny's boss, the SecNav, with the formality he reserved for such occasions as this, despite being incredibly angry at the man for ruining Tim's career.

"Agent Gibbs." Phillip Davenport replied dryly. "I would like to hear the answer to the Director's question, myself. If you weren't invited to this meeting why are you here?"

"With all due respect, Sir. I'm here on behalf of my agent. He was unjustly fired from a job he not only wanted his entire life, but also busted his tail to get and continued to bust his tail to keep. Tim McGee is an asset to this agency and it was not only a shot in the foot to the agency to let him go; it was wrong and unfair."

Now that he'd made his point, Gibbs took a breath in and let it out slowly. It wasn't until that moment that he took the time to look at the four people sitting across the table from him. Mentally, he winced at the fact that he'd forgotten to address their grief first, as he'd wanted to.

"Was there anything else you wanted to say, Agent Gibbs?" Jenny asked coldly, knowing that this situation wasn't over by a long shot. She knew Leroy Jethro Gibbs far too well and could almost read his mind at the best of times.

Without looking at her, as she expected him to do, he looked instead across the table at the parents of the slain Navy Recruits. These were the very people who'd threatened to sue NCIS over the deaths of their daughters if the Agency didn't take some action against Tim for his supposed negligence. The negligence they claimed was his when he'd failed to reach them while their daughters were missing; acting as if it had been Tim's fault that they hadn't answered their phones.

"I'd like to ask you a question." Gibbs stated as he looked at each parent in turn. "You were quick to throw the threat of a lawsuit at NCIS, even though our agent tried countless times to reach you to let you know that your daughters were missing. His call log on his cell phone backs that up. The car rental agency, on the other hand, made no such effort, once they'd reached my agent. Why not sue them instead? The truth is you wanted to throw the threat of legal action to the organization that held the biggest chance of closure or payback for you, the quickest Band-Aid to cover your pain. That doesn't excuse you ruining the life of a young man who's going through the same pain and loss that you are; times three because not only has he lost both his parents to this nightmare, but also his sister who was dating the monster responsible for this tragedy. Tim McGee had no knowledge of this murderer. No one in his family clued him in to what was going on with his sister and that man. He was **not** responsible in any way for this tragedy but you've backed this agency into a corner and left no choice but to take the very action that means his life; on top of being devastated by the deaths of his entire family, has been completely ruined by your pain and grief, too."

Gibbs paused and sighed as he continued to look at each of them in turn as he finally offered them his sympathy. "I'm sorry for your loss. I've been where you are and I know how you feel. But Tim McGee's a damn good agent. And I'm here to ask you to give him back his life; what little he had left of it that gave him purpose."

Having made his point, Gibbs stood up and left the room, letting the door close quietly behind him.

When the door closed behind Gibbs, the parents of both girls looked directly at Jenny.

"What did he mean; he's been where we are?"

Jenny cleared her throat and glanced down the table at Davenport for a brief moment. She was fairly sure he knew this by now and if he didn't maybe it was high time he did. "Special Agent Gibbs' wife and daughter were targeted by a drug cartel because his wife witnessed a brutal crime committed by one of their runners. Shannon Gibbs was scheduled to testify.

"Oh, no!" The group of collective voices gasped at the same time.

"Special Agent Gibbs was serving in the Marines and was deployed half way around the world in Afghanistan at the time."

"Oh, God, no! " Mrs. Shale whispered sadly, "They didn't!"

Jenny nodded sadly. "Yes, they did. They followed the van as it drove Agent Gibbs' wife and eight-year-old daughter toward a safe house. They targeted it and…" Jenny's voice broke slightly. "Sorry. All three people in the van were killed. Shannon Gibbs, Kelly Gibbs and the NCIS agent transporting them."

"Oh, dear God!"

"Agent Gibbs does have a valid point." Phillip Davenport said. The atmosphere was thick with a newly found grief at the shocking news they had just been told. "Agent McGee was a huge asset to this Agency and he did attempt countless times to contact each of you. This has been substantiated not only in his written report of the case on each of your daughter's tragic deaths, but also by, as Agent Gibbs stated, the actual call log on Agent McGee's cell phone."

"Then why did you fire him, Mr. Secretary?" Mrs. Shale asked almost shyly.

"Because, Ma'am. A complaint like this is taken very seriously. You claimed that Agent McGee's neglect in the case aided in your daughter's death. Now, our legal department had the legal issues in hand but in cases like this, there is no disciplinary action, just dismissal. At the time, I was doing what I thought was best at the time in not allowing any further legal action to be taken against the agency at a time when there was already enough pain and suffering."

"What have we done?" Mrs. Shale whispered.

"You let him take the heat because we were blinded by grief and loss, were not thinking clearly and demanding retaliation, rather than look into the facts that lead up to our daughters' deaths." Mrs. Shale demanded now.

"We wanted answers but this…this isn't want I wanted…what my daughter would want. You have to give him back his job!" Mrs. Reed stated with genuine remorse. "Just because we weren't thinking clearly or being fair, doesn't mean….Why didn't you investigate the claims before firing him?"

"You dismissed Agent McGee and hoped that the legal claim would be swept under the carpet!" Mr. Reed accused Davenport and even turned his accusing eyes in Jenny's direction for a brief moment before returning his glare toward the Secretary of the Navy, who, after all, was still just a man, at the simplest level.

"Wait a minute!" Mr. Shale exclaimed over the outcries and accusations of the other parents. "I think Agent Gibbs was just over dramatizing things a bit. I'm sure Agent McGee's life hasn't been ruined. After all, if he was such a huge asset to the agency, he wouldn't have had any trouble getting a job with another agency, right?" Mr. Shale argued weakly. "And I still think he should be held responsible for not getting in touch with us the very day he found out our daughters were missing."

Jenny glared at the man angrily. "Mr. Shale. I believe you only heard half of what Agent Gibbs had to say. "Yes, Agent McGee was an asset to this Agency. But his entire family was killed in this tragedy and he was used as the scapegoat to blame for it. He made every attempt possible to contact both of your families and there was nothing else he could have done. And, as Agent Gibbs has reminded us, the Car Rental Agency made no such attempt. Now, I'm not sure how _you_ would handle the deaths of not only your parents but also your sister, and then the loss of your job, all in one full sweep, but I'm fairly certain, you would **not **be just going on, as if none of it affected you in the slightest."

"Well, no. That's not wha…" Mr. Shale looked down in embarrassment. Jenny sat back in her chair and shared a glance with the SecNav who simply nodded and stood up.

Phillip Davenport stood up, bringing all conversation to a halt. Looking at each of the grieving parents in turn, he spoke quietly to them as a group. "If you'll excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Shale; Mr. and Mrs. Reed; I truly must be going. I'm due at another meeting in thirty minutes. However, I promise you that I will give this matter some serious review and let Director Shepherd advise you as to what it is I decide." Turning his attention to Jenny, he spoke to her. "Director, I will get back to you later on today." Again, Mr. and Mrs. Shale; Mr. and Mrs. Reed; I am very sorry for your loss and would like to extend our sincerest condolences."

******NCIS******

Gibbs returned to the squad room. After the meeting he had felt the anger rise and right now, he knew that he wouldn't get any work done until it abated slightly, allowing him to concentrate. Pulling out his phone, he kept walking, heading out for his favorite coffee and some fresh air. "How'd it go?...Yeah?...He okay?...Okay…Yeah…Dr. Mallard should be there in a few. Okay. Thanks."

Stuffing his phone back in his pocket, Gibbs' instincts kicked in harder due to the anger, and he turned defensively to the man who had materialized at his side and was now walking beside him. With a shake of his head, he turned and carried on. 'What the hell are you doin' DiNozzo?"

"How is he, Boss?"

"It's the 15th, Tony." Gibbs replied, knowing his Senior Field Agent would know the significance of the date.

"Crap."

"Somethin' like that."

"It's not getting any easier for him, is it?" Tony asked but he knew full well that if he were in Tim's shoes, he'd be struggling just as much.

Gibbs didn't reply. He knew that they all knew time would eventually heal Tim to some extent, r but the problem lay with the fact that no sooner had Tim started to grieve for his parents, then he had been completely floored by the second loss. That was the real problem with time; for some, grief hit and they got over it quickly, whereas for others, it festers in their souls for a long time before acceptance kicked in. Grief accompanied by a boatload of guilt like this, was in no way helpful to the grieving process.

The Team Leader himself knew the latter all too well and while he now accepted the loss of his family, he had never really gotten over it. When he'd heard about Shannon and Kelly, his grief had quickly turned to anger. He had let that emotion take over his thought process, leading to the execution of the man that had taken away his life and shattered his heart. Once again, he was brought out of his musings by the voice of his senior agent.

"You were awfully pissed comin' down from the Director's Office, Boss. Something more going on?"

Gibbs glared at him for the question, knowing that Tony was fishing for information. Before he could reply, his phone rang, he answered it with a huff.

"Yeah Gibbs…Okay…on it."

"Boss?"

"C'mon" Gibbs ordered. "Grab your gear. Get Ziva and Ducky. There's a dead sailor at the harbor in Norfolk."

"Great." Tony muttered as he turned and headed back inside almost at a dead run.

******NCIS******

Gibbs, Tony and Ziva returned to the squad room two hours later. They had gathered the evidence and after a quick detour to fill Abby in on the case and hand over what they had for processing, they were finally slipping into their chairs. Just as Gibbs settled down and was putting away his weapon, his phone rang.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"_Agent Gibbs, Director Shepherd would like to see you in her office now."_

Gibbs slammed down his office phone and scowled as he bounded up the stairs. His anger was palpable with every step he took making Tony wince.

"Ziva…" Tony whispered. When he didn't get an answer, he flicked a rolled up piece of paper at her.

"Stop it, Tony."

"Listen to me, Ziva!"

Ziva glanced over at him with narrowed eyes before standing and making her way over. "What do you want, DiNozzo?"

Tony ignored her irritated tone. "There's something goin' on and my gut tells me it has to do with McGee."

"You do not know that." Ziva replied and glanced up to the balcony. "It is strange though. Gibbs came in here like a…bat out of hell…?" she asked and continued at Tony's nod, "This morning and I saw SecNav leaving not even a half an hour later. It is strange but you know as well as I do that Gibbs will not let us know unless we need to."

"Yeah well, I don't like it." Tony pouted.

Ziva simply rolled her eyes and returned to her desk. "Regardless of whether you like it or not, that is how it is. Now stop pouting and help me dig through the financials." She pulled up the software that Tim had installed on all of their machines and felt the familiar pang of loss that her friend wasn't' there with them anymore.

*****NCIS*****

Gibbs was oblivious to the exchange between his agents as he stormed into Jenny's office. Cynthia startled when the door snapped open but was so used to the Team Leader's temper, that she managed to smile softly even in the heat of the wilting glare Gibbs shot her way before grinning openly at him.

"Go on in, Agent Gibbs. She's expecting you."

"Better be." Gibbs muttered as he snapped open the inner door and pushed it closed behind him so it would slam. "You wanted to see me, Director?"

"Oh please, Jethro. Cut the crap because your "pissed" routine doesn't work with me." Jenny replied smoothly.

"You know me better than that." He reminded her. His wasn't an act. He didn't waste time on games like that.

"Yes, I do. And you know me better than to think I had a choice in not telling you about that meeting. Now, do you want to hear what I have to say or shall we just keep trading angry words with each other?"

"I'm listening." Gibbs' tone cooled but was still clipped betraying the effort it was taking for him to calm down completely.

"Thank you. I've been instructed to offer Tim back his job."

"Why?"

"Does it matter?" Jenny frowned. She didn't know what she had been expecting but that wasn't it.

"Hell, yes, it matters!" Gibbs growled in return.

"The bottom line, Jethro, is that Tim has a reason to get back…"

'Get back what, Jen? His life? His murdered family? His reputation? His stellar career? You tell me; what's his record look like right now?"

Jenny reached into her drawer and pulled out Tim's personnel file. "I had it pulled by HR when I got the order from SecNav. It's been cleared and he's been exonerated of all allegations."

"What? How? Who? Why?"

"I think you forgot 'when'" Jenny threw in dryly. "Apparently, the Shale's and the Reeds were extremely upset after hearing what you had to say this morning. They wasted no time in making phone calls on Tim's behalf, demanding that he be given back his job. They also said that under no circumstances should Agent McGee have suffered the indignity of being fired instead of the Agency standing up for him and fighting their impending legal battle in court."

"Unbelievable!" Gibbs muttered. "Talk about closing the barn door after the horse has bolted."

"I agree. Surprisingly enough, even SecNav agrees. Of course, the fact that with the parent's phones calls to the Secretary of Defense' Office today, he's been officially reprimanded for his decision regarding Tim in this matter now, might have something to do with his change of heart. Then again, maybe hearing what you had to say changed his viewpoint just as it did for those parents. I seriously think you have a knack for public speaking, Jethro."  
**  
**Gibbs glared at her and changed the subject. "When?"

Jenny got serious since she knew what he was asking. "As soon as he re-qualifies in all areas of the hiring requirements. When all his re-certifications are in my hand, he's free to come back."

"If he _wants_ to." Gibbs reminded her solemnly.

"You seriously think he won't?"

"I think it's not a guarantee either way. You can't drag someone through hell and back while they bury their entire family and just expect them to shrug it off like nothing happened." Gibbs turned and headed out, pulling out his cell phone yet again.

"We need to talk…Your office?...Be there in ten."

******NCIS*****

"No." Tim shook his head in abject denial of the suggestion that had just made to him.

Gibbs set the fresh cup of coffee that he'd just poured down in front of his agent and sat down across the kitchen table from him. Yesterday had been a long day; one of those that seemed never ending. The conversations, first with Jenny, then with Tim's shrink and Ducky had gone on well into the evening before Gibbs had gone home to talk to the one person to whom he desperately wanted to break the news. The problem was, exhaustion had won out and when he walked through the door, everything was quiet. After a quick look around, he'd found Tim flat out in bed with Jethro sprawled out next to him.

For that reason, Gibbs had just finally told him the news over breakfast, even making Tim his favorite pancakes, hoping to inspire him to eat well. What he hadn't expected was this off -hand refusal with seemingly no thought behind it. Despite this, the Team Leader sat back with his coffee and sighed as he held onto his patience, knowing this was one time it was truly needed, if he were to get his agent back where he belonged; working again.

"No." The answer this time was quieter and there was a small hesitation before the word was spoken. Gibbs already knew Tim had his reasons, but if those reasons were stopping him from getting his life back, then he was sure as hell going to question it.

"I'm listening."

Tim looked Gibbs directly in the eyes. "Boss, I don't want my job back out of pity!"

"Who said anything about that being the reason, McGee?"

Tim's eyes widened slightly. "Well, no one, but…"

"Three months and you've forgotten my rules already."

"No, Sir." Tim replied quietly, not realizing that he'd reverted back to 'Sir'. "I haven't forgotten them, it's just…."

"McGee, do you want your job back or not?" Gibbs asked impatiently as his exhaustion began to weigh down on him.

"Of course I do, Boss. I'm just not sure…"

"Not sure of what? You've been out running with Ziva every other day for almost two months now. You've been eating just fine, Tony says you've been holdin' your own at the gym when the two of you hit it every weekend and I'm pretty sure you can still shoot. Hell, McGee, you should be able to pass the re-qualifications no problem."

Tim nodded silently, his expression the picture of uncertainty mixed with yearning.

"Dr. Dennison told me he sees no reason why you shouldn't come back. Says you need to, actually." Gibbs' raised his eyebrows with the silent question that was understood clearly by Tim.

"I'd love to have my job back, Boss." Tim answered quietly.

"So, what's the problem?"

"What kind of record does this leave me with?" Tim asked with obvious worry.

"You've been on Family Medical Leave." The Team Leader told him seriously. "Everything else is clean."

Tim was speechless. _Had he seriously been reinstated just like that?_

"SecNav has writtena letter of apology for using you as a scapegoat for the Agency's Legal issues with the Recruits' families. It's in your file, officially taking the blame off your record."

Tim's eyes widened in shock and he felt his mouth drop open. Gibbs shook his head and chuckled because at that moment, he got a glimpse into what Tim must have looked like as a kid discovering new things for the first time.

"Leaving for the range in ten." Gibbs quipped as he stood up and walked over to the sink to wash out his cup and turn the coffee maker off.

Still frozen in shock, Tim didn't move. The shock of finding out that he was welcome to return back to the job he had shed precious tears over losing, seemed to have momentarily stalled out his mind. In the back of his mind was the nagging fact that he still had days where the overwhelming pain and sorrow of his recent loss knocked him on his ass and he had no idea how to deal with that; not at work.

"It gets better, Tim. If you'd rather be on desk duty until it does, that's your call." Gibbs unexpectedly told him with a note of compassion in his voice as he once again seemed to read Tim's mind completely.

Glancing up at his boss, Tim frowned as he realized how much of a wimp all of this made him look like. It was short-lived as he quickly remembered that Gibbs knew exactly where Tim was at the moment. He understood and that meant more in his emotional recovery because understanding was something he craved right now. Not sympathy, not empathy, but understanding. Someone who had been in his shoes and fought hard to get his life back. Tim realized Gibbs wasn't railroading him into anything. The Boss was pushing him to help himself and take back what control he could because that's what he'd had to do way back when he lost his family.

Tim knew Mike had played a huge part in helping Gibbs, and in turn, Gibbs was playing a huge part in helping him. Recently he had seen the other side to the Boss. Not the gruff, hard to reach, silent mute, but the softer side that guided and told Tim that he cared. There was one question he wanted to know; one thing that had always nagged at him and that was how Gibbs did it. _How did he…does he…get through the days? _Tim jumped when a firm hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"Do it for them, Tim. Just like I did. You do it for them." Gibbs remarked as he turned and headed out, clearly expecting the younger man to follow him.

Tim stayed sitting on the chair before a barked voice made him jump up.

"McGee! You comin'?"

With his thoughts automatically thinking back to the night he'd made a seriously bad judgment call, Tim was now riddled with doubts. So much had happened. He had hidden in the back of Gibbs' car so he could listen in on whatever Director Shepherd had wanted to discuss with Gibbs. He had found the file on his murdered family and flipped out, eventually even going so far as to physically pummel Gibbs when the man attempted to help him come back from the shock of it all. The next day he'd suffered that stress induced heart attack. Suddenly, through all the memories and guilt that he'd been working through, Tim managed to hold on to the one thing Gibbs had demanded he not forget.

"…_, Tim, you are not responsible for the people we've lost to this job or __**for**__ your family! You wanna hang on to somethin' you hang __on to that and don't let it __go."  
_

Taking a deep breath, Tim slowly let it out and got up with the first genuine smile he'd been able to let out in months, as he made his way upstairs feeling lighter than he had done in a while. He paused briefly to look at Gibbs.

"Yes, Boss. I'm coming."

"Well hurry up then. We've got a lot of work to do if you're gonna be back at your desk this week."

"This week?"

"Damn straight! I'm sick of sending case work down to cyber crimes and the important stuff being missed!"

Tim grinned, but as he walked into the bedroom, the seriousness returned while he made his way over to the picture of his family he always kept close. Kissing his fingers, he gently pressed them to the frame.

"I'll make you proud, guys. I love you all."

* * *

_A/N: Many, Many thanks to **Shelbylou** and **Gottahavemyncis - **for your invaluable help with this._


End file.
